My husband down plays things that I say. If I tell him I made a comment to him, but he was on his laptop and he probably did not hear me, he says to me "I did not hear you say anything, You did not say anything." I Even though I know what happened and what I did say. And he makes me feel like I have to defend myself. We got into tthis huge arguement last night about this. Lately my husband downs plays things I say, I say I'm doing this for this reason and he tries to tell me why I'm really doing it (which he makes out to be some kind of selfish or my way issue). I feel like he doesn't know me. I've also noticed that in the last month or so he has been talking with his exgirlfriend, who is just his friend. We were seperated for 3 months during a move, and he comes back to me treating me like this. He down plays, my thoughts does not listen to me..but also has no problem wanting to have sex. PLEASE HELP EXPLAIN.
2007-04-11 03:55:11 · 8 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your attention please!When a man starts with these kind of behaviors;something wrong is happening with your relationship;you have to find the best moment to talk right now, not tomorrow.You,like a woman you are,you have to search love technics to approaching him,..may be offering him a good coffee with a kiss!! do you understand? all the routines are bad friends, for men too. (I'm a man who thinks like that).
Definitely;you have to sit and talk.
2007-04-11 04:10:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I would do, if it continues, let him know how you feel and give examples of things he's said to you and that you were trying to communicate with him. Also bring up the fact of when you noticed him doing this, when you guys were apart and bring up the ex. Even if he acts like he doesn't know what you're talking about, it might change his tune. He's going to understand now that you've realized and seen changes in him and not afraid to bring it up. He's not respecting you to act like this, and this will command respect, and it's also letting him know you are "on" to him and want to fix things. I know we don't live in a perfect world, and this may not work , but you've stood your ground with him on this, and that's what counts =) Good Luck!!
2007-04-11 11:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from the way it sounds, and keep in mind that I only know what you put in the question, he may have some resentment tward you. Maybe you should find out what it is he thinks you are holding him back from, and if it is this ex-girlfriend(who he should not be talking to any way) drop his *** so fast his head will spin! I know that is easier said than done, but the sooner you let him go, the sooner you can get on with your life and meet someone who will be interested in YOU.
2007-04-11 11:02:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you allow for your husband to talk to his Ex girlfriend now their is a big mistake that you made right their. About your situation I think that his Ex is washing his head telling him things that he wants to hear and maybe even telling him to leave you. You need to sit down with your husband and tell him to listen to you more and to understand you. I myself would never allow for my husband to talk to his Ex that would just be crazy for me to allow. His Ex is probably telling him "Remember when we used to do this, Remember when we went to this place." They probably even have talked about the many times that they have slept together or maybe they are doing it right now and you don't even know it. Check your husband out and talk to him. Maybe the spark that you both had is gone, your husband needs to see what he has because when it's gone their is no turning back. Good Luck and God Bless to you and your loved ones... :o)
2007-04-11 11:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by mysteryousmtz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should both consider couples counseling. His communication with his ex is worrisome ... suggest going to counseling and see if he agrees. Tell him you miss your husband and the way things were before.
2007-04-11 10:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by Duckie314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men usually have difficulty in communicating. They also have to learn to listen to you. First, he needs to get off his computer, and you need to tell him to look at you and listen to everything you need to say. Hey, make an outline for him to keep afterwards. Lack of communication will destroy your relationship - and it sounds like it is all his fault.
2007-04-11 11:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by StormyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found that when someone treats their spouse the way yours is treating you that means they are cheating and are covering up by trying to make you feel like you are the one with the problems. Leave him........
2007-04-11 11:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU let him come back. WHY. Start being more independent within means and keep you legs closed until he gets the point.
2007-04-11 11:16:22 · answer #8 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋