How to get over-come shyness?

Question

I hate being shy... i want to fit in and get notice i hate feeling that i am invisible to people.. but when i do try to talk to ppl
i choke up and i hate it.. and i never know with want i want to say.... on thing i don't understand if know what to say my heart beats so fast is there something wrong with me... and is there any programs to help ppl like me.?

Answer 1

Yes there is that and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and it works well for some individuals, though often it is held in a group.
What I was going to mention was something I call 'Baby Steps'.
That is where you or a physician, or someone you feel comfortable to share this with helps you, or you can with motivation, do it on your own.
Starting off with your worst fear, write a whole heap of difficult situations for you down. To the least one, like when you water your garden and talking to your neighbour.
So starting from the least, work your way up.
So for example, strike up a conversation with your neighbor about the plants or new neighbours or did you see the house for sale ...?
Do each one several times or until you feel ready for the next one, like when your in a shopping center queue, talk to someone who's waiting beside you about the weather, then a couple of people at the bus shelter and so on.
Even if you never make it to the worst one like Public speaking, you will have overcome so much and be very happy with yourself, like I was!
And you'll get to know that most of us aren't as scary as we look!
So you go girl!
And I shall just now say a little prayer for you.

Answer 2

Hi!
My husband is very shy and I'm so outgoing to you can imagine how hard it was for me to understand why he was being "like this." Well, I've come to realize that he doesn't enjoy it and the it's how he is. He describes things like you too...not knowing what to say...getting nervous...
I think that a great idea for you would be to start small. Think about not having to have a WHOLE LONG converstation with someone but just saying one or two witty things and then walk away. Leave with a good impression.
Perhaps you don't know what to say because you need to expand more. If you're educated on what's going on and you have a little sense of humour, you can make it work. Know about celebrity gossip and the news or stuff at school or things with friends. At a party, you can always make (kind) fun of some drunk person.
Perhaps the BEST thing is to keep it light and give compliments. People love compliments. Also, people really love to talk about themselves...see, look at me, lol. No, really, ASK and LISTEN and pay attention so later you can say something about what they said (like mention it again...like you're from Michigan...how is the weather there compared to here...?).
The best thing my husband ever did for his social life (besides meeting me, lol...) was to do something scary...enlist in a public speaking class! I know, GASP but it will help you sooo much.
Also, one more thing, try practicing talking to EVERYONE all the time. Like the checkout person...smile at some random person...say good morning to your neighbor...over time and with practice, confidence will come and then it will be much easier!
Good luck! I know you're going to ROCK the next party you go to!

Answer 3

Don't worry about having the right things to say all the time. I have a friend exactly like you, When people aren't talking much she gets really tense and tries to think of anything to say to make us talk...but just ends up embarrassing her self. I think that you will find that people are more kind then they appear to be. You don't have to have something important to say, just talk about anything. make a joke. or just listen, if you are with a group of people who are having a conversation, I'm sure they will involve you and you wont have to worry about thinking of something to talk about. Also, if you tell people that you are shy they will more than likely try to help you be more outgoing. I don't think you need a program, I think maybe you need a hobby. You can take up something like a class or join a group, then you will be with people of the same interests, you'll know exactly what you're talking about and you wont have to worry about feeling foolish.

Sorry this was so long, I hope it helped you...don't try to hard to impress people...we all have our insecurities

Answer 4

Look for all the verses regarding what God says about you!
e.g. You are a child of God - think about it! It's awesome.
You are loved by God, these will help you see who you are in God, and help your lack of self esteem! Remember, you have been chosen before the creation of the world.
God bless you!

Answer 5

There is a program called volunteer service. Go volunteer for a cause that will engage you in working for something else besides your own self.

Answer 6

I just added you to my contacts.
Ask and answer some questions to help.
(ignore the rude and crude folks)
Find a bible believing church with bible study groups.
Romans 10

Answer 7

cognitive behaviour therapy or cbt can help there are some self help books overcoming social anxity and shyness i think its called