The Man Is Driving Me Crazy?

Question

Need advice from all you married people out there!!

I have been married for 3 years and for some reason lately my husband is driving me crazy. Everything he says and does....I can't stand. No, I don't want to get divorced and no I don't want anyone else.......but I can't hardly stand to be around him right now. Not even sure why! It's things like he hasn't worked in 2 weeks, never helps me out with the kids, his 18 year old slacker of a kid just moved in with us....and he does nothing to discipline this wreck of a child, complains because the house isn't clean enough constantly, talks about the most boring **** on the planet, embarrasses me at family get togethers, etc.

So the question is: Has anyone else felt like this towards their significant other? Will it pass? Thanks!

Just to clarify a few things:

He hasn't worked in 2 weeks because he is an electrician and his boss has been telling him "there is nothing to do right now".

He does help with housework normally, but whatever I do around the house isn't good enough. I swear he inspects for cleanliness of what I've already cleaned.

Step kid I realize is my responsibility too, but for example I grounded him for his grades...but I cannot enforce because I work 2 jobs and am never home. Told his dad that I don't want the kid going out this weekend and he said "but he already has concert tickets". Not much I can do when the "biological" one won't help out with the discipline!! The kid has never been disciplined by his mother either by the way.

Thanks again!

A hobby would be nice...but I work 2 jobs 9am to 9pm and have 2 kids...not much time for hobbies!!

I am definately NOT pregnant!

I am friends with my step son...but that is not what he needs. I do not call him bad things to his face...just for the record!

Answer 1

Get him and the 18 year old a job! No wonder you're going crazy. If the 18 year old wants to live with you two the tell hubbie to set the rules or he's gone. Then talk to hubbie about how you're feeling. It's normal to get on each others nerves a bit, but it sounds more serious than that.

If none of the above works, go to counseling together to sort through it. Life is too short to feel that way.

Answer 2

It is normal for marriages to go through these cycles. It will not just get better. It takes both people putting effort into a marriage to make it work and stay happy. One of the first things I'd suggest for you, get over the idea that it is "His" 18yo kid. You took on the step mom role, love the kids but set rules and limits. At 18 there isn't much you can do for discipline, they're making their own choices by then. Talk to you husband about the complaining. Point out the fact that he has arms and legs and is more than capable of picking up. If he doesn't like the mess then he can do something about it. Now keep in mind you don't want to act all gruff and have an attitude when you talk to him about these things. People become defensive pretty quickly if they feel attacked. Find some hobbies that allow you time to yourself. Find some hobbies that you both can do together. If he is embarrassing you then you haven't accepted him for who he is. He may say something or do something that you would never do but that is his choice. Chuckle at him and say, "That's my bonehead".

Answer 3

Either you're pregnant or you're burned out. If you're burned out, you probably need a break. Since your husband isn't working now, take some time out for yourself. Go shopping, or take in a movie. Visit friends. Spend the day in the park or at a museum.

When your husband starts talking about the same old boring things, add some spice to his life and talk about something interesting. Understand that since most of us aren't reeking of money, our experiences are rather limited and we all tend to talk about the same old things. Also, don't feel that you are always accountable for your husband's behavior at family gatherings. When he puts his foot in his mouth, remember that it's his foot and his mouth. Look for the humor in it, instead of feeling embarrassed.

Try to make friends with your stepson and you might find him to be quite helpful. Instead of resenting his presence, have compassion for him and treat him with kindness (even though he's a slacker). Don't call him a wreck of a child, or names like that. He's your husband's son, and you can be an inspiration to him.

There's a lot more, but these issues are first on the list. Hopefully, you'll climb out of your funk and begin to feel better. Best Wishes!

Answer 4

When he gets a job and the kid moves out, it will get better. When you (YOU) go on a vacation and he has to clean the house and deal with everything else, it will get Even Better.

Answer 5

Your husband is probably bored out of his mind, make him a list of things he needs to do. Paint the fence, stain the deck,trim the hedges, or something. It will help, and as far as the house stuff and kid stuff, they will be okay once he puts his mind to something.

Answer 6

All adult adult males like being treated like a milking device. yet ever guy is diverse. some like it BJ some like only a sturdy hand activity and different in basic terms the act of you wanting them, power maximum adult adult males nuts. For me it at the same time as my spouse look in my eyes and with no note tell my soul to go back the following for a cope with of love and lust.

Answer 7

No wonder you feel like this, you are married to a loser. Kick him to the curb and find a real man. All those feeling will go away then.

Answer 8

Your husband sounds like a real loser so no I don't think it will "pass". In fact, it will most likely just get worse!