Why am I still single?

Question

I am average woman pretty, smart, witty, funny, friendly, caring, thoughtful, giving, compassionate, and down to earth. I am an adult who is getting rid to go to college but I have never been in a relationship. I wanted to know why I was still single. Its not that I don't attract guys because I have pently of guy friends. My best friend is a guy but my other friends (girls) are always trying to convince me to go out with him. I won't because my heart isn't into, but he says he will always love me. I often find myself in my own mind daydreaming about the perfect guy but I am tried of daydreaming, and I want a companion. I am not desperate because I refuse to settle for anything. I must say I am kinda picky but I am not cocky. I often turn guys down and become friends with them. I think I am nervous about dating because I often find myself attract the white men and I am black (problem?) My family is cool but there is still that southern mentality. Should I make the first move or wait.

Answer 1

I am black and married to a white man. We have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and have been married for 3 years. He makes me happy. I say that go w/ what your attracted to but don't limit yourself. Happiness can come in any color of the rainbow if you let it. Being picky isn't the problem, dealing with southern mentality on interracial dating would be. I don't envy you but you follow your heart and do whatever it takes to make yourself happy-no one can do that but you.

Answer 2

When I was in my mid 40s and married, I found myself one day wondering what was wrong with me that I never felt that kind of love that you see in the movies. I loved my husband but it wasn't that intense true love that I always dreamed about. Then one day I very unexpectedly met a man who I knew was my soulmate and I felt what I was missing all my life. I realized there was nothing wrong with me, I just hadn't met the right man yet. (No, I didn't have an affair, what did happened is a whole 'nother Oprah)

My point is, you haven't met the right man yet. One day you will. You have a definite idea of what you're looking for and you're not willing to settle. Good for you. I know it's lonely. Today, I'm divorced and alone and I still refuse to settle because I know the Universe is bringing my perfect mate to me when the time is right. Knowing this doesn't keep the lonliness away.

Continue to do what you're doing. The right man is out there looking for you. When the time is right for you both to be together, it will happen and you'll be extremely happy that you were so picky. The divorce rate today speaks to the impatience, the willingness to settle, that is so rampant in our society. Fill the lonliness with your friends and with activities that make you happy. Get out there and live your life. Your perfect mate will find you. If you settle you run the risk of being married when you do find him and you won't be able to be together.

By the way, if you love someone it doesn't matter what color the outside covering is. You love the person inside. If you truly love each other, no one else has the right to decide whether or not it's appropriate.

Answer 3

Let me give you an advice. The next time you see a guy that you like, walk up to him and tell him this: Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to invite me to Starbux for a cup of latte. 99.9999% of the time, you'll hear a YES, YES, TODAY IS MY LUCKY DAY. PLEASE LETS GO NOW FOR 10 CUPs LATTE. If you'll here a no, then just wait for next time - no big deal. I think that most women are afraid of rejections and think that asking a guy first is a shame or something. You can't even imagine how many guys would TOTALLY appreciate that. Now, keep in mind that you can't be easy, but asking someone for a conversation is OK.

Answer 4

ok well u sound like a wonderful person and all but you just need to go out and look for the right person and when somone asks you out dont just immeaditaly turn him down go out once or twice and get to know him better becasue you will never know if u acaully like him or not until you get to know him better.... and u liking white guys thats not a problem at all your heart will attract you to the right person even if he is white or not color has nothing to do with it.

i hope thiungs work out for you and if u have anymore questions just ask :)

Answer 5

First off who cares what color you are, I am latino and I almost married a black woman, she was so sexy but could not stop drinking so we split up. Make the first move and forget the racial bounderies. Beside mixed babies are so cute, and did you ever stop to think it's what we see with our eyes that makes us so blind? I am sure your family loves you and wants you to be happy sp go for it and best wishes.

Answer 6

Hmmm well people spend there lives dating and getting there hearts broken but some people just don't date and end up with (THE ONE) very soon so i dunno...don't go looking just keep yourself the way u are and be patient
Best of wishes

Answer 7

well never seatle for whats below ur standards and no it ant wrong to date outside you race. some thimes it best for u to make the first move. and some of the best friends can be the best partner in life but some time the wait is worth its wild.

Answer 8

You are still single because you have not met the right guy yet.
As far as the racial thing goes...that is your choice.
I would not be pressured into dating anyone I do not want to date.
Your time to shine will come when you meet the right guy.

be cool...

Answer 9

You have a right to be picky. but I want to share an email that was forwarded to me. These are words of encouragement for you. There's nothing wrong with not settling. many women fall in the trap of man chasing and they chase the wrong men. do not become one of those women. Good luck and musch success in college. Remember always be your own person. the right one will come to you.

WOW! Truly no better words could have been spoken. As a Man and a Man of God, I would like to clarify just a few things and add a few things:
FROM A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE
1. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A "GOOD" WOMAN, DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU ARE GOOD FOR THAT MAN: Too many beautiful women, waste emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical energy, attempting to fit a square peg into a round hole. SISTERS! You were not made to be good for EVERY MAN! God ordained you to be a GOOD THING, to ONE MAN, that is your husband! The "MAN" (and I use that word loosely) who doesn't recognize your worth, beauty, gifting, and passion, is not your husband, nor worth spending your time with. Time is the one resource you can never recover. Once it is gone, it can never be retreived. Stop spending 3, 5, 10, 20 years with a boyfriend and concentrate on sharpening your discernment in the Spirit so that you can focus your anointing on the REAL MAN OF GOD that God has ordained you to be with. The person that God has ordained for you is to help you fulfill your purpose in God. Stop limiting God and allow him to bring THE MAN into your life. John 15:16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit and that your fruit shall remain. Then the Father will give you whatsoever you ask in my name. This is my command: that you love one another.
2. DON'T MAKE HAVING A MAN YOUR #1 PRIORITY: To many good women are so preoccupied with having a Man that they normally settle for less than God's best. And believe me, being by yourself is not fun so please hear me on this one. Being by yourself is not fun, but being by yourself is better than being beat up, talked about, cheated on, used, and abused by being with someone else. Make the #1 priority in your life, Jesus Christ. He will order your steps to the place where you need to be, so that the MAN OF GOD, that he ordained for your life will FIND YOU. You don't have to look for him. And if you get into a relationship and it doesn't work, don't blame yourself or the guy you were with, it may be that it was just not ordained and God did you a favor by allowing whatever circumstance rose to cause you two to separate. Matthew 10:34 Do not suppose that I am come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
3. DON'T ACT A DAMN FOOL ONCE YOU GET A GOOD MAN: Too many women lose their minds when they finally get a Good man because they are so paranoid from all the bad ones they went through! Stop nagging, complaining, and arguing about stupid stuff. Can we just all get along? LOL Learn to compliment, encourage, pray for, and seek to understand his shortcomings. If you are supposed to be his favor, act like it! Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Proverbs 21:19 Men are drawn to women who have the ability to minister to our shortcomings versus always pointing them out. We know our issues better than anyone and quiet as kept, alot of Men are extremely insecure about them and will hide them if there is no one there to help them deal with them. Women want us to understand the mood swings, their friends problems, and all of their family issues, but if a brother has a bad day, then he's dogged out and chastised. We don't want another MOTHER, we have one already, we need a RIB to stand beside us and guard our hearts, because MEN HAVE FEELINGS TOO.
I'll wait for the comments.
Love Ya,
Apostle David A. Rodgers

Answer 10

Because you are still looking. Stop looking for love and it will find you. It sure found me!