i have a lovely man , who i love and i know he loves me BUT ive just found out we are haveing a baby, last year we lost one and when i told him about this one it didnt seem to affect him, hes told me to be careful and rest but he said hes worried how we will get on when or if the baby arrives, hes also said that he scared of loseing the baby, me being pregnant hasnt changed him at all ,why ??
2007-04-11 02:30:40 · 13 answers · asked by daisy30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's just scared. He's handling it the best he can.
2007-04-11 02:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys react differently than women do in most cases, it is one of the things that make them different from us. Our minds don't function the same way as theirs do, their thoughts and feelings are usually masked from us. Each individual reacts to lose in a different way. Some meet it head on, some put it in the back of their mind, and some become numb to their feelings. He may be trying to shelter himself from more hurt by not allowing himself to connect with the reality right now. Men also have fears that we don't, their make up is to protect and provide. Him telling you that he doesn't know how you will get on when the baby arrives is just him speaking his feelings aloud. This is a good sign that he is at least coming to terms with reality because everyone has fears of the unknown or new things, assure him that you will stay right beside him and will work hard to make everything ok. I think once you find out that the baby is ok and it gets closer to time of arrival he will be more excited than now. He is just protecting himself from possible heartache. Just give him space but don't let it stop you from being excited... CONGRATULATIONS! I wish you and the baby good health and an easy, safe delivery.
2007-04-11 02:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by ashwa83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys react to baby stuff much differently than women do. For a guy, it's a matter of taking care of the business of keeping a house for a family, for a woman it's about the relationship, and they start going into "mommy" mode right away. Don't worry, he's behaving normally, he's just not behaving the way you think he should. He loves you, cares about you, and is concerned for you and the baby's well being, so he's going to be there. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said what he's said.
Fear not.
2007-04-11 02:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it you expected from him when you told him you're pregnant?? If you're wanting him to "change"...it what ways are you wanting ??? To dote over you ...serve you breakfast in bed, do a 360 change to make you happy. Getting pregnant doesn't Change a person all that much..YES they end up growing up as they have a newborn to take care of and think about before thinking about only themselves. Hopefully you'll be able to carry the baby to term....you do need to rest the first few months, keep feet elevated under a pillow.........take it easy. He's probably thinking..omg...what to do when this baby comes....and depending on how old he is...will affect it in a great deal.......he will have to provide not just for you, himself but now for a child. It's a stressful time in that sense..and wondering if you'll carry to term and if the baby will be ok etc.........give him time to digest this shocking news.......i wish you both the best*~
2007-04-11 02:42:30 · answer #4 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and women are not emotionally compatible, this is not to say that we are not made for the opposite sex or that we cannot relate to the opposite sex. Men inherently hide their feelings or soften their reactions, sometime they seemingly don't react at all. This is often viewed as insensitivity or indifference by women. If a man has a lot on his mind he doesn't go to all of his friends or even his partner and "share," like many women would. There is a lot of anxiety associated with taking care of a pregnant partner and then the resulting baby. His anxiety is further compounded with the thought of loosing another child. He will reveal his feelings in time to you. Don't pressure him, you may only be met with resistance and frustration for both of you. Share your feelings with him and he will come along in time. Good luck and Congratulations.
2007-04-11 02:50:34 · answer #5 · answered by schultajaet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did he and you! react when you lost your last baby? you may find the answer there.
Where you upset/a bit relieved?angry?ill?withdrawn or moody?
Was he any of the above?
Are you financially secure? Do you live together and share all the costs?
When you lost your last baby, did you turn to another person for comfort. Maybe away from your partner?
Is it possible that he fears loosing you or having to share you?
How stable was your relationship before and after the last miscarriage?
I would suggest you ask yourself some of these questions and then maybe share your answers with your man, see how he reacts and maybe starts an honest dialogue with you about your JOINT SITUATION. Talk with him.
2007-04-11 02:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that losing a baby is the worse thing in the world and when it happens women are cosseted and loved and the man has less support in this even though it is as bad for them i have just had child after trying for 9 years all the worry and stress of the last nine months has been worth it .
i think maybe your partner is trying not to get too excited before in case god forbid owt bad happens and the pain would p[rob be too much for both of you
good luck to both of you
2007-04-11 02:39:04 · answer #7 · answered by cateboo2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know if this applied to you, but normally, when a woman loses a baby, all attention is centred on the woman. the poor bloke is often left to deal with this loss on his own and is expected to be strong for the woman. it could be that he has never really managed to deal with the sad loss last year, and is fearful of it happening again
2007-04-14 04:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by fat momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is perhaps trying to protect himself by getting emotionally involved. He's probably really scared and was devastated by what happened before and is worried the same might happen again.
2007-04-11 02:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by magic_porridge_pot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is being cautious to me. I would just let him deal with it in his own way but keep talking to him and let him know how you are feeling and I think he will come round and start talking to you. I don't think it has not changed him I just think he is holding back until he is comfortable with the situation. I hope this happens for you. xx
2007-04-11 08:37:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may be acting like that on the outside because he is extremely worried that something wrong will happen again.
From what you have written above, I think he loves you and cares a lot.
2007-04-11 03:42:24 · answer #11 · answered by haze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋