what should you do if you feel angry and bitter that youve had a hard and traumatic life, and lots of people?

Question

are happy and enjoying themselves, and have never been through what youve suffered....how do you not feel angry and bitter towards people because of that?

Answer 1

welcome to being an ethnic minority born into a white culture

Answer 2

If you are a teen or adult your life to date is probably a continuation of the trauma you experienced as a child
Im not a proffessional but these are some of the steps I took to help me evolve into a better person from it, recovery and empowerment is a process.
1) Its not your fault, If you grew up feeling "unworthy" because of the actions of the people who where supposed to be taking care of you, try remember nothing you did meant that you deserved it or that you are a bad person. It was their issues.
2) Dont let your past experiences define WHO you are today, negative experiences change our perceptions and can influence how we see ourself, try identify negative beleifs you have about yourself that could stem from your past and ask yourself if that is really who you are, more than likely its a belife you developed from low self esteem, see if you can replace it with something positive. Eg: I am unlikeable, replace with, I am a valuble person
3) I am in control, you have the power to control what kind of people enter your life, friend, boyfriend and family if they are not loving and caring you dont need them. It also means you are responsible for the type of life you lead now.
It sounds like you have not started the healing process yet, that is why you are angry and bitter at other people, because you are still hurting you can't be happy for anyone else if you not happy in yourself, I think this is a normal reaction for someone who is hurting so don't feel bad, but it is unhealthy and it will keep you further isolated, its important to get councelling to give you the tools to deal with your anger and give you back the confidence you deserve, if you cant afford a councellor get some self help books (sounds corny,but they do help). Your life wont improve if you don't start to actively find ways to improve it, and that means dealing with any and all issues you may want to avoid.

Answer 3

first realize that :the world does not owe you anything , nobody has promise you that everything will be fair(life is not fair)even if you are not happy about it,being angry and bitter towards others will not change matters and even you can somehow make them go through the same experiences, it will not change what you have gone through.
you cannot change or control what has already happen, but what you can change is your attitude towards what has happened.
you can tell yourself that despite whatever has happen you can still pick up the pieces and carry on.and what else that you can do is to improve the whole situation or you can just ;sit there and cry"o poor me!!!!!" the choice is yours.
and don't think that there aren't people worst off than you!!! what about them????
some of them can still carry on without being bitter and angry.
any way why should you be bitter and angry towards these people(those who did not go through what you did)????they didn't cause all these things to happen to you!!!is it their fault that you did not enjoy the life that they had????do they "owe" you that???
instead of wasting your time and energy in being angry and bitter, you should instead use your time and energy it finding a way to improve your lot.after all you are able to gripe about this, there are people out there who can't even do that!!!
God bless,
gabe

Answer 4

I think the best "revenge" for a hard and traumatic time is recovering and THRIVING!!! What ever you've been through, someone else has been through worse and has over come the hard stuff. Don't get me wrong because I'm not saying you shouldn't cry or grieve because sometimes that's part of the healing. But I am here to tell you that YOU CAN HEAL. You can transform the hard stuff and rise. You know, a gem has to be polished with a rough stone in order to be smooth and so that its light can really be reflected.

I recommend you read author Dave Pelzer's book "Help Yourself for Teens." (Or you can first read his book "A Child Called It" so you can have all the details of his very hard life—this is not an easy book to read!!!). "Help Yourself for Teens" does give some of his history there. The book is divided into three parts, the first one "Dealing with Life" the next about choices, and the last part is about personal resolve. (I'm listing the sections of the book here because the names of the sections are clues to the "what should you do" part of your question.)

May you be blessed with understanding and wisdom and wonderful people who can support you as you build a beautiful life for yourself. I hope you'll find the way to bring that light into your life and SHINE!

Answer 5

It's if you want to end the trauma you have been through. You can go on reliving it for the rest of your life or you can put it behind you and join the rest of us here in a happy life. The choice is yours. YOU have the power to put this terror behind you and move on.
Think of the other people who have had this kind of life and are still living it, with no light at the end of the tunnel. You have come through this and survived and you will be stronger because of it.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, a chance to begin again. There is no percentage in remembering the past, look to the future. The choice is yours.

Answer 6

Because you need to realize that a LOT of people have gone through things every bit as difficult as what you're going through and have come out of it and gone on to be happy and enjoy their lives. Life is not always easy and it's not always fair, but being angry and negative won't "fix" anything! Life is not all about you or any other one of us. Think of the things and people in your life for which you can be grateful. Focus on positive things and it will help pull you out of your present frame-of-mind. For every day you continue this way, you're denying yourself all the good things in life. No one else is keeping you from them except YOU.

Answer 7

you should not feel bitter because you have had a hard life a lot of people are in the same boat. the best thing to do is try to forget the hardships and make a better life for yourself. get a good sence of humor and try to think positive. i know it sounds hard and not what you really want to hear.i too know what a hard life is like ,my second husband turned out to be a pedophile ,i had him jailed the third sent me and my daughter at our whits end we ended at a woman refuge. but i got up and started again i am happy now you can be as well.good luck *

Answer 8

I've had a traumatic life and suffered things that i would never wish on others, I don't feel angry towards anyone though.

There are loads of people who have been through worse than I have, and many who will never suffer anything like I have, but that's life.

My experiences have made me a better person.

Answer 9

I have had a lot of trauma in my life. Raped, abused, you name it. I concider myself a respectful and nice person. I have two older sisters who are very vindictive, spiteful and abusive. One is 36 and the other is 42. The thing that gets me through is knowing that even with all this **** that has happened to me, I am not like my sisters and I know that when I am old and grey, I will not be crippled with arthritis and regret and be a very angry person like my sisters, because I am grateful for each sunrise. Yeh, I get sick and tired of being a survivor, but I want my olden days to be carefree and not full of hate like my two horrible sisters. At the age of 34, I was raped by someone I was in a long term relationship with and I hold a lot of hate and anger, but I am letting it go. I need to because i want to live this life as it is as precious to me as being sane for the next 50 odd years.

Answer 10

But how do you know sweetheart that they haven't and are just dealing with it in a different way to you?
Believe me i know what you're getting at. There are more people than you realise that have had a hard time. We all deal with it in our own way. And just because someone is acting as if they had the best life ever does not necessarily mean they had. But whatever, i'm with you on this one. X

Answer 11

whenever you feel like this (i have thoughts like these from time to time, self-pity is only human),i think of this:there are always people who are worse off than me.and also, there might not be much justice in the world, but there is one for sure:everybody will die eventually, death doesn`t spare anybody.nobody is here forever (unless you believe in reincarnation).fact.gloomy but these two things always put me back into reality.