I have been married for 8 years, have a 6 year old daughter and have with with my man for 10 years all together. He had a 6 month affair with a 16 year old about 4 years ago, he was 33 at the time. The other girl ended it, he didn't. He was planning on leaving me and taking our daughter away to another country with this girl. He still speaks to her in the street and still tells me about it!
Problem is, my man now constantly accuses me of cheating with his ex-mate, something I would never dream of doing. He has banned me from speaking to this friend, not even allowed to wave to him when we pass in the car. Me and this friend have done nothing wrong, just speak as friends. My man doesnt trust me and even suggests that I encourage people by the way I speak to them!
Im almost 30 and I hate the fact that my man is dictating my life to me and controlling everything I do. He phones me every hour at home to check that Im there and not gone to this friends house.
What can I do?!
2007-04-11 00:29:36 · 13 answers · asked by Tracy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been asking for a separation for the past couple of months and when I do, he threatens to kill himself or throw me out of the house. I want him to leave so my and my daughter can live in some sort of peace. He is very controlling and has a nasty temper about him. He has never hit me, but has threatened to, along with chop off my fingers if he saw me with my wedding ring off.
2007-04-11 00:49:15 · update #1
Pack your bags and start a fresh life with someone who does adore you! You are a very kind person to put up with his little "affair" which was illegal - and you have a daughter -
(not a good example he set). So set one with your daughter and show her that nobody puts up with this. It's sad, hard and easier said then done. But the sooner you are free of this the better you and your life will be.
2007-04-11 00:36:01 · answer #1 · answered by kelly e 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a healthy realtionship, The simple fact that he cheated on you is just unhealthy, If anything you should be calling him every hour making sure he isnt out with some 16 year old, It is hard once a man has gotten control over you to turn things around because you are so used to explaining where you have been and being accused. It is just because he has a guilty consious and is scared of losing you, If he wants to act that way when this teenage girl starts a conversation with him make him be the one on a leash and tell him he is the one who is not aloud to speak to her or look her way. Give the man a taste of his own medicine. That is just not right, A controll freak is only that way because he is in fear of losing the best thing he has so he wants to make himself look like the good guy and make you look like the bad girl! This isnt the case and it needs to stop
2007-04-11 07:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by cbella06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is very insecure and has the mentality that if he had an affair then maybe you are too. I can't see a 33 year old being with a 16 year old as legal either. That is just sick. Pack your things and move on before he has total control over your life.
2007-04-11 07:34:40 · answer #3 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that he is thinking that you have a reason to cheat on him , after all he was a low life and cheated on you ,so he now knows that it can happen to any one and if you payed attention to this ex friend of his , he might just assume that his weakness might also be yours, after all after finding out about his huge indisgresion why would anyone blame you if you strayed he is just being possesive and overbearing . Its easy to say pack your bags but his... be it bullish.... attention may be his way of caring rather than just possesing you. If you are looking for peace sooth his ego if your looking for your rights lay down the law read the riot act tell him that you are the pure one that is true and he has stained the marriage with his stupid mistrust and womanising tell him that his jealousy is based only on his shame and disgust for what he did and not your actions . all the best hope it helps
2007-04-11 07:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop asking for a separation. Just leave. Take your daughter and go.
Your so-called husband cheated on you, is still in contact with the woman he cheated on you with, yet HE is the jealous one, controlling you and checking up on your every move??? Come on, girl, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he is unhinged. Get yourself and your child away from him, you owe it to her to protect her, and believe me, the situation that you and her are in right now sure sounds dangerous.
2007-04-11 08:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accuses YOU. Take his sorry A$$ to court charge him with adultery and take everything he has. If he feels this way still, about the younger girl, in some states that's still considered RAPE. If he does not trust you and does what he does, how can you live with yourself. You are allowing this, so stop it now and file for a divorce.
Good Luck.
2007-04-11 07:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been here before. Leave the jerk. As hard as it will be for you emotionally (it's awful while you try to break your dependency on the person and fear of being alone, and fear of not being good enough for anyone else) it's the only way you'll ever get any peace.
Good luck!
2007-04-11 07:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by xian 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't be politically correct about this one so my answer is....... leave him, he's a no good, control freak without any chance of rehabilitation unless he will go & have counselling with you. Best of luck & you are a lovely human being who deserves much, much better treatment from somebody who claims to love you & your daughter.
2007-04-11 07:35:20 · answer #8 · answered by Mishell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave Him
2007-04-11 07:32:52 · answer #9 · answered by bigdawg197 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down girl, If it is an innocent relationship give him the ultimatum.
2007-04-11 07:36:38 · answer #10 · answered by Monte T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋