Serious true advice needed from guys.... ladies may also advise?

Question

Due to emotional hurt which I had, I demanded my hubby to quit his contact with this female friend and though my husband assured me he no longer in contact with her, somehow I still do not trust him totally (or maybe it takes time for me to accept it).

Do you think I am too much (or I'm having depression)?

Please advise. Thank you.

Answer 1

I totally know how you felt, because i also caught my husband cheating on me, if you wanted this relationship then keep your husband and have a whole family. But if you think you cannot forgive him, then split up. But you might be the looser,for it seems so easy for the female friend to get her gift(ur husband).

Answer 2

It's almost impossible to answer this without more details. If your husband did something wrong, you don't mention it in the question, which makes you look a bit like a spoiled brat who is demanding her way.

You say you have 'emotional hurt'. If this is because your husband actually did something wrong, then it justified, but again you don't mention anything he actually did wrong. If this is simply because you don't approve of your husband having a female friend then I invite you to look beyond your own feelings and consider the 'emotional hurt' you are visiting on your husband.

If he's done nothing wrong, then he doesn't deserve you holding the marriage for ransom with a petty demand. Moreover you are telling him loud and clear that you don't trust him and that he's not an equal partner. This is actually a breach of trust on *your* part, not his.

This is supposed to be the man you love, a man who of good enough heart and character that you chose to marry him and trust him with everything you had. If he's done nothing wrong, then he deserves better from you.

Again, you don't give enough details - if there is some form of abuse, lying, adultry, or other big reasons for you not to trust them, then my answer does not apply, and I apologize for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

But based on the minimal details you've shared, if I had a wife that did this to me I would feel hurt, betrayed, unloved, and disconnected.

Hopefully you two can get back to a healthier relationship. Good luck.

Answer 3

Without knowing what your "emotional hurt" was, if it was justified or not, if it was your husband's fault or not, etc., it's not possible to tell to what degree you are justified in not trusting him. Was your husband cheating with this female friend? In that case your reluctance to trust him is perfectly understandable, although until he gives you evidence that he hasn't changed you should keep this to yourself. Is she just a very good friend? Was the emotional hurt from someone else cheating on you in the past, not your husband?

Basically what it boils down to is if your husband has given you reason not to trust him, than it's okay for you to be having difficulty with this, although you are going to want to work on trusting him again. Whether you can or not is up to your ability to forgive and move on, and whether he gives you any cause to doubt him. If he doesn't give you any evidence of further cheating, or if it wasn't him to begin with, than you need to consider the possibility that you are the problem, not him at this point. Trusting when you've been hurt is hard, but you can't feel total joy when you're guarding your heart so carefully, either. Good luck.

Answer 4

What kind of emotional hurt???? are you being cheated??

I think you will need to give your husband the benefit of doubt by trusting him that he does not mean any harm to you.

As long as he give the assurance.. any contact should not be look at in a negative light...

take care

Answer 5

That is a difficult question. Are you just the jealous type? Do you sense that there are other problems in your marriage? Has he ever been dishonest with you before?

If he has oa history of being dishonest, you are probably justified in suspecting him. If he has been honest with you in the past, and you keep nagging him about it, he will eventually get tired of hearing it and do whatever he wants. (You know-if you are going to be accused you might as well do it.)

If you have had other problems in your marriage, you might well want to check into the situation a bit further before making any accusations.

Good Luck!!

Answer 6

you need to see that a friend is just that ,until a line is crossed after all if he was very close to a guy would you assume that he was gay and insist on him not seeing that friend again .
your husband might just be in love with you and not this friend of his if you see her as a threat to your marriage then tell him after all you are his wife and he owes it to you to be faithful . but be careful because once trust is lost it never can be had again .
you don't have depression you have doubts that's all .

Answer 7

Your life is now a leap of faith. You will have to choose how you want to live it. If you want a guarantee, go to Sears and buy a washing machine. If you want a marriage, you will have to live on faith in your spouse. In short, you will never know what anyone else is thinking or doing (all the time.) You have no choice but to trust if you want to have any happiness.

Answer 8

Main ingredient is always trust but what helps is sit down and ask him what is missing from you that made him go out with this gal, when that sets him thinking ... you will find the answer you need

Answer 9

If he had any relationship with this female friend before, there is not wrong for you to demand him to quit his contact with her. But if they are just friend, probably it's a bit unreasonable.

Answer 10

If he gave you reason to lose your trust in him, it's up to him to re-build the trust you once had. You must decide when that point has been reached. It doesn't sound like it has yet.