How do tell someone that you used to love that you no longer love them?

Question

I have been married for all of one year and have come to realize that I don't love my husband anymore. I like him as a human being but am not in love with him anymore and am no longer attracted to him. We sleep apart and our lives are moving in different directions. We are too different to make our marriage work.

I am not mean or spiteful...even though he has been abusive and cruel.

I just want to leave with my head held high and my dignity in tact.

Answer 1

Hi

Very few people know the meaning of love,we generally forced to fall in love maytimes.Which can not last for long because love is not conditional or situational.

When mystics use the word love, they use it very carefully -- in the deeply spiritual sense, where to love is to know; to love is to act. If you really love, from the depths of your Consciousness, that love gives you a native wisdom. You perceive the needs of others intuitively and clearly, with detachment from any personal desires; and you know how to act creatively to meet those needs, dexterously surmounting any obstacle that comes in the way. Such is the immense, driving power of love.

Therefore, when I say that ‘I love,’ it is not I who love, but in reality Love who acts through me. Love is not so much something I do as something that I am. Love is not a doing but a state of being - a relatedness, a connectedness to another mortal, an identification with her or him that simply flows within me and through me, independent of my intentions or my efforts.


When you are aware that you are the force that is Life, anything is possible. Miracles happen all the time, because those miracles are performed by the heart. The heart is in direct communion with the human soul, and when the heart speaks, even with the resistance of the head, something inside you changes; your heart opens another heart, and true love is possible.

But in our socity we are forced to love by marrying someone,especially womens are more victim of this situation.

Regards
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Answer 2

He's been abusive and cruel but you like him as a human being !!! If he was acting decent, I would tell you to try a little to fullfill your part of the marriage. But if He is abusive and cruel and your lives are going in different directions and you seep apart, what is to be gained by staying together? Do both of you a favour by opening a frank and unemotional discussion. If that does not get anywhere, pack and leave,(it may take a while for him to notice)

Answer 3

First you need to realize that you were never in love with him in the first place.

If I were you I think I would sit down and write him a long letter, explaining everything to him about how you feel and do not feel. Sometimes that is the best because you will not forget things and will get everything out at one time.

Some would say that is a bad thing to do but it is just me and what I would do..

Make sure all your things are packed and/or in storage when he gets the letter.

Be carefull and Good Luck.

Answer 4

If you really believe what you are saying then you need to just leave and be honest with him. He may feel the same way you do, but scared to feel like he failed. A lot of people stay married, because they don't want to look like failures. Just say what you said in your question. Tell him I like you as a person and friend, but I don't feel the passion or love that I once did. One thing you should do before you tell him how you feel. Imagine your life without him, how does it make you feel. I know from experience that sometimes you don't think you have love when you do, its just hiding because of stupid things. If you can imagine a better life without him then you need to find that life and let him get on with his as well.

Answer 5

So you are out of the honeymoon phase and now you want to end it? Good grief. Didn't your marriage vows mean anything to you?? For the sake of your husband's happiness, just tell him. I can't imagine he doesn't already know. If you don't even sleep with him after only one short year, TRUST ME...he KNOWS how you feel and you would be doing him a big favor by divorcing. He deserves better.

Answer 6

Sounds like you have already made up your mind, which should make things easier. You need to stop prolonging the inevitable and simply sit him down and tell him that you want a divorce. Honestly, you are lucky that you figured this out now and not a few years down the road after you've had a kid or two. Good luck, my dear.

Answer 7

Why would you admire a person who is abusive and cruel?

My heart goes out to you, today's world is so hard to find a mate in, but I don't know what good telling him will do. He will question whether you were ever really in love, or just thought you were.

You probably weren't. And that is even more sad.

Answer 8

I know it must be difficult but you have to sit him down and tell him in your own words.
I know cuz it's the same with me right now. I'm going through it too. Alls is left is just to be up front and honest. Then the feeling of the load you carry now will make you lighter after you get it all out.

Answer 9

if he is abusive then you might have a hard time talking to him so the morning he went to work i i would gather up my belongings and leave him a letter letting him no how you fell and do not let him no were you are going because anyone that is abusive can become a stalker. and can hurt you and your family after awhile get a sheriff to go with you to get the rest of your things.i do not no if there are children but that's between you and the courts.

Answer 10

There's no easy way. But I tell you from experience, be honest and don't procrastinate. If will only make it harder if you do. Just tell him the truth about how you feel. He's going to be upset either way, so you may as well have a clear conscience.