what do u think about this?

Question

a poem i wrote which i personally think sucks but what do u think? and can u also help come up with a new title? plz and thank u =)

Is It Real?

Is it real or is it fake?
Tell me now cause it's all my heart can take.
Am I at the bottom or am I at the top?
Tell me now so the pain can stop.
Tell me the truth but please don't break my heart
because once it's all over it's all I'll have to start.

Answer 1

Pretty good!! And I think the title is totally appropriate for the poem :)

Answer 2

1) If YOU think it sucks, why would you inflict it on the rest of us?

2) If it is the finished product then your primary assessment would be accurate.

3) If it is a work in progress, then I say you have a semi decent start, but it needs A LOT of polishing

4) From one poet to another let me give you some free advice.

" A heart is not life, it only becomes life if the heart beats.
Rhyming does NOT a poem make, Only when it inspires emotion, thought, and perception does it become art."

Answer 3

I like the poem, but the last line doesn't make sense (to me). But it's good. As for a title, how about: Tell me now.

Answer 4

too many rhymes...not all poems have to rhyme and it really doesn't make sense. Sorry but that is what I see...the title is fine though, if you were to change it I would go with something like Awakening

Answer 5

I liked it alot, I felt the simplicity of the poem summed up a person going through something we like to complicate. and that is love.

Answer 6

I like it... very nice... *borat voice* The New Start or The Beginning of an Unwanted New Start

Answer 7

I think its really nice and I can understand the feelings that you are trying to transmit to anyone who can read it
:D

Answer 8

your use of paradigms is a bit excessive, you need to put more focus into what your poem is actually about

Answer 9

Hmmmmm..... Well, it is simple and to the point. Honestly, it's not very good. Sorry.

Answer 10

I think its well written I think the should be-- Tell Me