Is this considered a cheater?

Question

Married for 12 years and she started a relationship with a coworker 4 weeks before she left me. She told me that she was unhappy for a while. She never expressed her feelings to me and she didn't leave me until she had another love relationship waiting in the wings. I believe she is codependent because she has never been on her own. So is this considered cheating?Using someone else to get out of an unhappy marriage?

Answer 1

Yes, but either way she has left you, so what does it matter now? What do you care if she's "co-dependent" or not? She's someone else's problem now.

Answer 2

they never leave unless they have a new relationship, it probably has been going on a while longer than what she told u. too bad she didn't tell u how she felt, so u could have at least talked it over, but that really wasn't her intention, because the unhappiness was within her, and had nothing to do with u or anything u did, i do believe they don't really become unhappy till they meet that other person, and want to leave the relationship they are in. they never do express their feelings, until they are walking out the door. they have to use some excuse so they blame it on that. just a cop out really to justify their bad behavior.

Answer 3

It's obviously cheating, yes. If the question is about using someone else to get out of a relationship, yes she did. She never told you she was unhappy? What a coward. Better you found out now and not 10 more years from now.

Answer 4

Yup any emotional connection with someone else outside of marriage and could lead to sexual desires etc. is cheating.

She screwed you over big time I'm sorry for you but really you must have been blind to not realize your women was unhappy. I think maybe this will make you wise up to the person your with next. Ladies are very sensitive and they need us to shower them with love and appreciation it appears you were not there for her and she found her a man that could fill that void in her marriage. Sorry time to just carry on find a lady who will be faithful to you and that will atleast let you know if she is unhappy or anything.

God Bless and Best Wishes!

P.S. Remember just because she may have been unhappy
it gives her no excuse to cheat on you. Simply stated you deserve better.

Answer 5

Well she didn't learn from the relationship with you that communication is the number 1 thing. She will probably make the same mistake with him and be unhappy as well. She should of been upfront with you. This relationship she is having now is based upon cheating and lying. Most likely it will never work out with the two of them with him knowing she cheated on her husband. He will never trust her. Do not be surprised if she shows up at your doorstep wanting to come back because it didn't work out with the two of them. She will probably blame it all on him and tell you she made a bad mistake when it was probably him that got tired of her. I say go out have fun and live the single life. Have fun!!!

Answer 6

She was married to you for 12 years and NOT ONCE did she express how unhappy she was?!?!?! I really find that hard to believe. To answer your question, though. Yes, it is considered cheating if you begin a relationship while still in another.

Answer 7

The dictionary defines "cheating" as "to practice fraud or deceit"...but I'm sure you know that there are so many more issues that a simple definition just can't encompass. Unfortunately, regardless of the reasons why your wife deceived you, or how she did it, she did indeed cheat.

I have to agree with Cynthia F...your wife is codependent, i.e., she relies on others for her happiness. The problem with codependency - that many people don't understand - is that it is an emotional addiction, and most people who suffer from it need help much like most alcoholics need help conquering their addiction. I know this, because I've slowly realized that, even though I thought I was pretty independent, I'm codependent myself. No one can rely on other humans for his/her happiness, and that's the painful lesson I'm learning now. In order to be truly happy with anyone, we all must learn to be happy with ourselves...and there's no one that can teach us how to do that. Happiness is something that your wife will have to learn on her own. Until she understands that...she won't be happy...not with you, not with the coworker, not with anybody else. Period.

My heart breaks for you, not only because I know you're hurting, but also because I experienced first-hand the effects of a cheating father whose affair and double-life has lasted over 30 years. I can only imagine how hurt and overwhelmed you are now. The most important thing you can do for now is to love yourself and let your children know that your love for them will never fade.

If you'd like to talk more, please email [e-mail]...my name is Jess.

I will be thinking of you and praying for your family...

Answer 8

Of course its cheating. Dont forget using to. Some people refuse to breeze out and let nature take its course thats why there is so many screwed up relationships out there. She will never be happy because she is too busy running into something or someone else to see. We all have did it some point in time in our lives but its so easy for us to just settle. we dont stop think and figure out what we want first. We just go running face first into a mess and then we are the first one to say we are not happy!

Answer 9

What do you think?

I would encourage you to give yourself some credit. She essentially murdered the relationship a long time ago and did not communicate her feelings which could have saved the relationship.

You got cheated bad. I would seek a divorce in this situation. And the next woman you find......do the homework on her family background. There are vividly predicable signs that can prevent you from investing in this flighty type of woman. Co-dependence is only one dimension of her issues but you are right.

Answer 10

yes this is cheating. I had the very same thing happen to me. My X lied about it and then a friend of hers ratted her out. But after the smoke cleared I found out that I am much happier being single and alone than being married and being lied too. I think if she cheats once she cheat again and it dont really matter who she's with. what come around goes around.
someone may do the same to her someday.

Answer 11

Yes, thats cheating first of all she should've talk to you and try to work out the problems before finding someone else. She's wrong don't worry pray to God he helps alot of people thats if you believe and have faith. If you don't your missing out. "What comes around goes around." Try talking to her and fixing this situation and if that doesn't work things always happen for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. I know this might be hard, but trust me if things don't go the way you plan it God will send someone into your life that's better, but don't give up on something little because it might seem so big. Fight for someone you love because if you give up its like losing a battle. I wan't you to try first. I believe things will get better. Good Luck