i'm an 18 year old senior in high school and my boyfriend is a 19 year old freshman in college. we've been together for over 5 years and i am going to a school next year a few miles from him and plan on living together...I feel like we're ready to be engaged...i mean we know eachother so well, have been together for so long, and are planning our futures together...but this is when we're talkinga bout it lightly..recently I told my boyfriend I was ready for engagement and he said he didn't feel the same way. he says he wants to be with me forever but doesn't think hes ready for that big of a commitment because hes still young...i agree we're young but i think it could work..and we wouldnt get married for another 3 or so years, at least until he gets a job out of college...but if we're planning on being together...why doesn't he like the idea of engagement now? i'm going to try not to get annoying about it and give him time but i just don't understand...any help/ideas...please
2007-04-10 13:42:19 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your boyfriend is right. A lot can change in college, and it is better not to jump into anything yet. Give it time. The last thing you want is for you two to get married and get divorced before the age of 21.
2007-04-10 13:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both young. He is smart not to rush into anything he's not ready for. You are planning on living together, that is a pretty big commitment, why do you feel you need to be engaged?
If you push this issue it will backfire. He has told you he's not ready to be engaged. Accept what he can give you or move on.
2007-04-10 20:48:22 · answer #2 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A young man in his first years of college which will be the time of his life, and yours too, is not ready to be tied down to a long term committment and have to answer to you for everything he does, right or wrong. National Lampoons Animal House comes to mind here. You both have lots of time to get engaged, but have some fun now, get it out of your systems, concentrate on your education first or you will regret it later. Good luck in school
2007-04-10 20:52:45 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say "I think it could work" You better know it will before you take that step. First of all you were wrong for even saying you were ready for engagement. That is something that has to come from his heart. Now all you've done is put the pressure of a vise on him. You've set the seeds of control over this poor guy. I hope he sees what and how you're manipulating him. I bet he does and he'll be bailing out soon. Good Luck
2007-04-10 20:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are way too young to need such a commitment at this time. You are setting out on your college careers and you grow differently while in college. This is time you will need to grow up from high school life and your life plan will change, believe me. And you need those experiences to help you move on to those next stages of life like engagement and marriage. If you don't step aside right now you will lose him anyway. He obviously understands this better than you. Go to college, experience life, grow up and then look at where you need to be in a marriage. I guarantee you will be in a hugely different place than you are now. And you will be happier for it.
2007-04-10 21:18:15 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the more you push the issue the farther he will withdrawl, you are very young, and I am sure he is wanting to finish college get a career started and be sure he can in his mind support not only himself but a family. To a guy engagement means marriage chatter and talk, and planning, and not a long time before a wedding no matter when the date, plus the expense of a ring etc... you have plenty of time, enjoy it trust me it goes by fast, if its meant to be it will be, but dont push it, you could push him away
2007-04-10 20:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by rottie110 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's right. Don't get engaged. You two are still teens, and have a lot to experience in life yet. You both need to get your post-secondary education done, get out in the workforce, live on your own and see the realities of life, to mature and grow.
2007-04-11 02:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He already told you...he isn't ready for that big of a committment. YOU need to accept that.
2007-04-10 21:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋