my mom is a lesbian?

Question

ahhh, my mother just came out yesterday to my sisters and aunts and uncles that she is a lesbian. She doesnt want my dad to kno yet but she wants a divorce. this is to much for me how can i handle this? she had a girlfriend who is 29 my mom is 40..am shocked i thougth i knew her and now this. any ways to show support

Answer 1

Wow that must be a big shock to you. I don't envy you. So she has taken the first step to being happy/true to herself. This is probably a big help to her. It's a little weird not telling your dad but I guess in time she will - it's a big step.

It must be weird for you - especially that she has a much younger girlfriend. Have you met the girlfriend? In regards to showing your support to your mother I guess it is just being there for her. That's all I wanted when I came out but my family couldn't give it to me because they didn't accept.

Do you accept her relationship - that she is who she is? That is the first step. I guess even if you can't accept it at the moment always be there to give your mum a hug or a shoulder to cry on - that would be really helpful.

You have to take care of yourself too though. If you are not handling it well is there someone you can talk to - an adult who will keep your feelings quiet. Maybe even a school counsellor or something. Maybe you could buy a book on dealing with gay/lesbian people.

The best way for you to help your mother is to know how you feel about things. It may be hard to cuddle her etc if you are still confused but it may help you both. Good Luck.

Answer 2

In a few days, or maybe in two weeks, your feelings of being shocked will receed, and you will at the same time start to get down to the nitty-gritty of what this means for you and for your mom and for your whole family. Just give yourself a little time to absorb what is happening and to get your mind around everything that this change implies. And soon enough you will feel like you did a few weeks ago, that everything is stable and "known." It will all work out all right for you. For your mom, though, there may be some difficulties as she gets various reactions from other people, some of whom will probably not be very nice. So tell your mom you are there for her, and remind her of this at least once a day or once every two days. You do not actually have to DO anything except make your presence known and be a good listener. Good luck!

Answer 3

She's still your Mom and she still loves you. It took a lot of courage for her to "come out". Give her a break. She's going to have enough of a hard time without having to deal with her own child's disapproval.

You may be shocked, but it will fade in time. One of my best friends is a lesbian (I'm straight) and she has three sons who adore her. She's also a great mother. I don't see any indication of how her sexual preference has (in any way) affected the loving relationship she has with her sons.

Answer 4

well guess you have to lover the way she is you can go crazy or you might not like her decision but you can still be supportive how ever you might do that im shure it was hard enough telling you as it is imagine how long she had not told anyone and she just wanted to be free with it im not gay or lesbian but they have my vote when there wanting there rights and the govt is stupid and trying to tell people what to do in there own yard a marrige is between anything you want it to be if a life partner wants to stay together im happy for them and i cant stand to hear the assault on freedoms on a daily basis its proven to me all the time that happens and when you exersize your freedoms people will try to tell you otherwise like you have no choice and you must conform to make them happy so you can remain unhappy and they will even git in your face i experiance it anywere i go it makes me not wanna go in public they got there own personal space if they dont like people who love the same sex look the other way

Answer 5

dont worry too much about it. try to take your mind off of it as much as possible. my mom just left my dad and she is 46 with a 33 year old boyfriend. i mostly ignore her and try to support my dad as much as i can. i dont know if you are close with your mom but im not and so i just try to help my daddy. he now has a girlfriend and is also starting to ignore my mom and her actions; they have been apart for 4 months now. and the one thing that helped me the most was my wonderful boyfriend. he has been by me the whole time and he keeps my mind off of my parents. i dont know if this will help; but i give you my best wishes and dont worry everything always comes out good in the end :)

Answer 6

Let yourself go through the motions, and talk to her. This is a hard transition for most people, but soon enough you'll be fine with it.

Remember that she's still your mom, this little fact doesn't change who she is, she's merely more honest with herself and others.

As for showing support, let her know that even though it's hard you're still her child and you'll love her no matter what.

Answer 7

Love her and try your hardest to accept her. Even if you find that you can't fully accept her yet, still show her love and support her throughout this time--the last thing she needs right now is you freaking out on her and leaving her in the lurch when she needs you the most!

Answer 8

tell her that your by her side and support her, that no matter what you will always love her and never look at her any differently, that she is the same mom you saw since you were a little kid. and life is not going to change it will only get better because things happen for a reason.

Answer 9

She is still your mom and now you know her better. This is a big step for her. Don't freak out. Let it sink in. She is the same peson, she is just being honest with herself, finally. And now she can be honest with her family.

Answer 10

She hasn't changed. She is still the same person that she was before. She is becoming more honest with herself and everyone else.

It is not wrong to be a lesbian.

I'm sure that she still loves you.