I don't mind either way, but just don't be a hypocrite.
2007-04-10 12:43:38 · 25 answers · asked by starworksinc2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Geez. It's my first time on this thing N I didn't think I'd spark a big reply. hehe.
Anywayz, yes actually I was aware of the concept of whoever asks pays (which is fine) - but theories rarely pan out the same in real life.
Also sounds like I should be asking some of the ladies out. They seem to have better personalities than the ones I've been dating. Haha.
Well like I said, I just threw this out there on a whim. Didn't think I'd get a massive reply but thank you all.
2007-04-10 15:38:20 · update #1
I had a woman that was a friend tell me "it's not about the money" So, I asked ok you ask a guy out, make the plans, go pick him up, flowers?, take him somewhere nice to eat, dance club after, pay for it all, Take him back home, kiss in the cheek, then do it all over again, for a few weekends, This guy pays for nothing, How many times would you take this guy out? 1 and that's it, any woman that says she'd do it again lies. So this bull of not expecting him to pay OK next time you meet a guy offer to pay it all on every date. NOT
2007-04-10 12:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not all women do this. But some do, and you're right... It IS hypocritical.
You can't have cake AND ice cream, so to speak.
Women shouldn't expect to have the same rights as men while expecting men to treat them with more respect that women are willing to give men.
It's great if a man wants to hold a door open for a woman, pay the "bill" for a date, lend her his coat, etc... But it shouldn't be a requirement. Women should be willing to do all of these same things. With mutual rights and responsibilities comes mutual respect and kindness.
Men and women should both be willing to show care and consideration. Both should be willing to provide.
(By the way, I think whoever asks the other person out should be the one to pay. It's common courtesy.)
2007-04-10 13:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by SINDY 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think women view this as hypocrisy more like a dichotomy.
The rules of dating are still unclear for alot of women especially if they were brought up in a very traditional setting with a stay at home mom. More women with single parents or dual career parents might not be so traditional.
It's not an easy thing to establish early on either as neither party wants to look like a jerk.
If you ask though you should pay. If you want them to pay their share make that clear up front. If a guy asks me out I assume he is paying unless he says otherwise. If I ask him out though it's usually dutch-Ha!
2007-04-10 12:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jackie Oh! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are dependant women and independant women..there is a difference. There are both. Usually the person asking pays..unless otherwise arranged. I usually have no money for eating out and will always tell you that. I cook alot for the neighbor guys and they return the favors when they cook also. Going out to eat is expensive but fun to do. Make it known who pays before going and you will not be dissapointed. Never assume..always get things out on the table beforehand.
2007-04-16 00:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being independent is a different thing!
but etiquette's r another thing. also it depends who is taking who for dinner. supposing the guys asks gal out he should pay n vice-versa. its nice for a man to behave like a gentle man when he does that...
as for moi i always pay my way cos by the time u end up getting the bill i have probably sussed him out on how much of a gentleman or a scrooge he is and cos i probably have decided by then if i want to see him or not so i rather pay ..ha ha ha!
2007-04-14 22:44:33 · answer #5 · answered by Butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was single, I never expected the man to pay for anything that wasn't his idea alone. If he wanted to go to a restaurant then he paid. If we went where I wanted to go, I paid. If we negotiated, we went dutch.
Well that was my intention and I told every man I went out with. Usually they insisted on paying anyway. So who's the hypocrite?
2007-04-10 12:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They want the independence but they also want to play the chilvalry game in dating.
It is not being a hypocrite. It is more of wanting to have your cake and eat it too!
Men rule the world, but women rule the relationships -- they only let the men THINK they rule the relationships!
2007-04-10 14:18:12 · answer #7 · answered by DaMan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and in this day and age there is no need for it. The contolled and the control freak ....both of those personalities types are insecure whether they choose to believe it or not. The male control freak always manage to find a willing female partner to control but I doubt this type of female would be a feminist ... quite the opposite. Providing for your child is something completely different.
2016-04-01 07:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are not being hypocrite. We want to make sure the man is not cheap and will treat us good.
If at the first date, he can't pay for a meal, imagine in 6 months... he won't have any cute little attention for us.
2007-04-10 12:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by Shaana 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some of the women I dated insisted on paying for some portion of the date. If I paid for dinner, they paid for the movie. If I paid for skating they paid for drinks afterwards, while we were nursing our injuries. Not all women are looking for a payday. But they are attracted to guys who act like they are ballers and big spenders. If you are acting like a big spender, don't expect not to have any takers.
2007-04-10 12:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋