and I am scare that when or if he finds out that he will leave me. My mother already told him the truth but I told him she was lying and I was telling the truth It is a really big lie that i have told a lot of ppl what do i do?
2007-04-10 12:35:07 · 26 answers · asked by Meghan R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I was younger like 14 I started babysitting and the mother of the baby left for 2 years and gave me a note saying take care of her and then my cousin had 2 babies she couldnt take care of and i took care of all three and i consider them mine and my fiancee considers them mine but i cant show birth certificates or anything showing they are mine and they are back with their mothers now and he doesnt understand when i tell him dont mention my kids in my heart they are mine but not to everyone else all my friends think i have 3 kids but my family and i know the truth
2007-04-10 12:47:13 · update #1
It's better to tell him the truth sooner rather than later. If it does end the relationship, then it's best for it to end while the two of you are just engaged rather than after you're married.
2007-04-10 12:42:31 · answer #1 · answered by Darin P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound so much that you lied, you felt in your heart that the children were yours and you have now had to let them go. Tell your fiance the truth and explain that you just really loved the kids as though they were yours and that you didn't want to admit that they actually had biological mothers out there. You really do need to tell the truth now, you wouldn't want the truth to come out after you are married and ruin the trust in your relationship then. If your fiance loves you he will work hard to try to understand your position in this. Good Luck!
2007-04-10 13:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to come clean. Lying to cover lies is never a good idea. They all catch up to you in the end anyways. Tell him you're a jerk, and you were afraid you'd lose him or something, and need to be able to tell him the truth. If he finds out some other way, he may never trust you again. You need to let him know by example that he can trust you NOW before you get married...otherwise, how can he EVER trust you when you are married? Karma comes back to bite us on the butt EVERY time. Don't let your butt be next. Do the right thing.
2007-04-10 12:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't build a relationship on a lie and the truth always comes out sooner or later. Maybe he should leave you when he finds out, but that should be his choice to make.
Be a good girl and come clean with your fiancee. How would you like it if you found out he lied about something to you that was really big that would cause you to leave him?
2007-04-10 12:42:11 · answer #4 · answered by hw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, hopefully you love and trust each other enough that he can handle whatever it is, or not. but do you want to spend the rest of your life worrying that he might find out about it?
It's hard not knowing what it is, but honesty is a very important thing in a relationship - it's much better you sort this about BEFORE you get married. If you tell him after, he may feel tricked.
If you've spread the lie to many people, then it's important to you for a reason. He may understand that.
2007-04-10 12:41:15 · answer #5 · answered by Quinoafab 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot have a relationship based on lies. This would not be a good start to a committed marriage. A commitment takes honesty or you shouldn't even think to go further. You need to speak up. If he decides that he cannot stay with you it is his choice. If you don't and you marry and it or other lies you may tell come out, you now have a divorce to face and maybe children together on top of it. Stop it now and fess up. You may have to learn a painful lesson.
2007-04-10 12:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure he will find out the truth eventually it would be best to just fess up to it on your terms than wait for the inevitable to happen. You will only stew on it and it will slowly fester into a big sore that will make you feel very guilty and uncomfortable. Your mum must also be pissed with you if she told the truth then you called her a liar. Not good all round.
2007-04-10 12:39:41 · answer #7 · answered by auburn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every person in this world deserves to be with someone who is honest and forthcoming. If he finds out about your lie after the marriage, he will not only be angry but he might divorce you so it's pointless to get married if you're not upfront with each other.
Tell him the truth - he may leave or stay, but that's a risk you have to take.
2007-04-10 12:41:34 · answer #8 · answered by phoenix_rising_28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU are screwed.... DO NOT marry this person. you will only hurt him and he deserves someone honest.
First of all, you should not lie to ANYBODY about ANYTHING!
Second, if you can't have trust in a relationship (I wouldn't trust you if I was him) everything else means absolutelly nothing. ZERO...
You can be the nicest, cutest, sexiest, richest, wettest women for him but if he can't trust you, there is no relationship.
The only thing that would save you now would be to tell the truth and never ever lie again.
2007-04-10 12:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Oh, sounds like you are in trouble, if it is so he will leave you if he does not believe you, and he will leave you if he does believe you and finds out later you lied so fess up , it's a better person to have told the truth cause some one some where is gonna back up your mother
2007-04-10 12:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by hypergal1942 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋