Hey everybody!! I want to know what you guys think the main causes of divorce are?

Question

I am writing a paper, and will welcome lengthy answers so don't hesitate to put your two sense in. Thanx.

Answer 1

Selfishness. Since traditional marriage vows are about choosing to love another person, breaking those vows means that one has put their own personal needs or desires above their vow and their spouse.

It may be selfishness on the part of one or both spouses, mixed with a lot of unforgiveness.

That is what I believe causes most divorces.

It's general, and many will break it down into subsets of this, such as communication failures, unrealistic expectations, etc. But I believe these are largely manifestations of selfishness.

Answer 2

Infidelity/Adultery-this really is self explanatory. Usually it's the husband that cheats, but more and more women are finding romance and companionship outside of marriage. Usually it's because they just want someone to appreciate them and make them feel special and wanted, most times it's purely physical. Divorce usually takes place with repeat offenders. Almost everyone can be forgiven for one mistake, but when it's a habit, there's more to it.
Irreconcilable differences-This is a catch all phrase that can cover he wants sex and she doesn't to financial problems to bearing/raising children.
Abuse/Neglect: Archaic term that nowadays a lot of courts will list cause as irreconcilable differences. I don't know, maybe they just don't want the accused spouse to be known as an abusive person (even tho there'd be no criminal record).
Abandonment: Usually attended on to the real reason for the split. Like with irreconcilable differences, wife wants divorce, husband moves out of home, after 30 days, she then files for irreconcilable differences and abandonment because he left the home.

These are the reasons that I've seen most often.

Answer 3

The number one main cause of divorce is couples not making their marriage a priority. This means that everything else comes first: work, family, children, hobbies, etc. People grow apart when they don't spend enough time together. Experts agree that married couples need to spend 10-15 hours per week of "couple time". This is when your spouse gets your attention.

Another major reason is when you marry someone who doesn't meet your relationship requirements. A requirement in a relationship is something that needs to be there in order for the relationship to work. Examples would be trust, monogamy, financial responsibility, emotional safety, etc. A lot of times, we are unaware of our requirements when we marry. Each one of us has our own unique requirements. As time goes on, and we find that we are unhappy, it is because we discovered along the way something that was missing. Usually this is a requirement for us. If our partner is unable to meet this, the marriage usually ends.

Answer 4

Another factor leading to divorce is the fact that many people decide to get married before they are ready personally and/or ready in their current relationship.

Nobody wants to be alone, and for some it is really easy to unconsciously avoid that risk by becoming very dependent very easily. Some people become dependent on the "love" they think they have developed for a partner that isn't really right for them long-term.

Because some people get married too quickly or at too young of an age, the way their life progresses removes all feasibility for a life-long commitment to their partner.

Answer 5

One of the biggest causes of splitting up in my opinion is money. People fight over money all the time. I know many couples where one person w/holds lots of information when it comes to where money is going. A lot of times bored women spend money they don't have to shop; men don't understand this, and it causes huge problems. Ask Dr. Phil about that one. Americans especially are extremely materialistic and once married, young couples often think they are immediately entitled to it "all". The house, the cars, the boat, the trips - anything. Usually, it's all bought on credit, and it doesn't take long for everything to come crashing down. Financial problems are stressful and naturally lead to emotional problems.

Answer 6

I'd say the main cause for divorce is selfishness. The "me" before "we" complex. The failure to consider the feelings of the person you married in your decisions. No teamwork, it's all about me and my needs and wants ... my way or the highway .... when one or both parties to the marriage take that attitude it's the recipe for divorce.
Good luck with your paper.

Answer 7

People just don't take marriage seriously anymore. People just rather divorce than work through their problems. Im not married BUT have been in a couple of serious long term relationships. I know of couples who are married but still want to have a "single" lifestyle...you can't do that. If you are not ready for that type of commitment then don't get married.

Answer 8

I think one of the biggest reasons for divorces is honesty and money. I recently went through a divorce. My ex-husband cheated on me several times. He spent all of our money on nothing. He lied to me all the time. There was no communication at all. We no longer slept together. It was terrible.He was also addicted to drugs. It was a very sad situation.

Answer 9

To answer your question backwards, I think people stay married more when both people care more about the other person than they care about themselves. When you put the other person's wants and needs before your own and the other person does the same, the rest is easy.

Answer 10

3 main causes are:
1. Abuse - mental, physical, emotional, financial
2. Affairs - unfaithfulness is almost always a marriage killer.
3. Addictions - when you make anything (gambling, drugs, sex with other men/women, drinking, video gaming) more important than your spouse, you're inviting trouble.