How do you wean a breastfeeding baby at 15 months?

Question

OK im dealing with a dilema my baby is 15 months and im having one hell of a time weaning him. He does not sleep through the night and shares a bed with me and my hubby. It is affecting our marriage and I only 4 more months with my hubby before he deploys overseas again. Any suggestions.....by the way I do not believe in throwing him in the crib and letting him cry

Answer 1

You could try letting him fall asleep with you and then laying him in his crib. To wean him, you could pump millk into a bottle and give him the bottle and then take the bottle away slowly after that. I know how you feel about the co-sleeping thing. My baby did it. It majorly affected me and my husbands intimacy. Good luck.

Answer 2

Well the first thing you need to understand is that it is perfectly normal for him not to be sleeping through the night. Half of toddlers do not until age 2. There are many studies on normal infant sleep that you should read here: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html

But what is normal is not important. What is important is that the family unit -including the marriage- is working and it isn't.

I suspect breastfeeding really isn't the problem either. But if you are serious about weaning, or even just night weaning everything I could possibly say has been said better here:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.html

Obviously I don't know you, and I don't know what your life is like. But I also cosleep with my 13 month old, who breastfeeds constantly. And while it is sometimes draining to me it isn't effecting my marriage. Obviously we manage to have sex because I am 7 weeks pregnant (not planned). But in my humble opinion many military moms move their kid(s) into their bed once hubby is overseas, they enjoy the closeness. And I also wouldn't want you to resent your husband or feel guilty for weaning. Most moms really cherish the closeness breastfeeding gives, particularly one their todders are only nursing 3-5 times a day which could happen very soon to you.

If you really think moving him to his room (crib or bed) would help then by all means there are no-cry, no-trauma ways of doing that when you work with rather than against your child. It is generally best if daddy puts baby to bed in the crib. Or you could put a mattress on the floor in the baby's room (after baby proofing the room of course) and nurse him to sleep there and then slip away. But a baby monitor in the room and a gate across the door. With the mattress on the floor you don't have to worry about falling out of bed. Or falling trying to climb over the railing.

Elizabeth Pantley is supposed to be really good, but it didn't really work for me. There is advice there on moving toddler to a crib or bed.

I hope you can find some way to enjoy the next 4 months with your husband, I am sure there is a lot of stress right now.


PS If you want some research on why cosleeping is good for your baby, or why it is best to breastfeed for at least two years to help you negotiate with your husband, let me know. But I don't want to just post it and seem like I am saying your decision is wrong. What is right for my family, or even most families isn't necessarily right for you.

Take care.

Answer 3

Cant help with the weaning - mine self weaned at 9 months, but there are lots of books/web pages from professionals which might.
With regards to the crying/sleeping thing, remember you have to operate as a family unit, not as a baby with a support crew. His needs are very important, but his wants less so.
If you really dont want to go down the controlled crying path (actually worked for us very quickly, although yes, hurt alot. And theres more to it than just "throwing in the crib", so maybe read up and consider) there is a technique called "camping out". (Tried once, never going to work with my daughter, she thought it was a riot).

Have a look at www.raisingchildren.net.au
This is a great site, with sleeping strategies and is non-judgemental about your parental methodology.

Answer 4

Try cutting out one feeding at a time, starting with the one he is the least attached to. After a few days, cut out another feedng. Hopefully you should be able to wean him over the course of a few weeks. Be sure to cuddle him a lot and do things to let him know that you still love him. It's a big change for him.

To get him to stop co-sleeping, try putting him on a mattress next to your bed. A crib mattress, if you have one, will work well. Slowly move the mattress across your room, a little bit further every day, then just outside your door, then finally in his room.

Good luck!

Answer 5

That is a dilemma!! I also hated the idea of letting my son 'cry it out'. Luckily for me, he was a good sleeper, so first I put him in the crib for naps, then at night I moved him into the crib after he fell asleep. When he was older, I would put on a video or an interesting toy that he could only watch/play with IN his crib--this seemed to make a HUGE difference.

As for weaning ... I can't really help there. My son self-weaned around 17 months. I remember we had a few rough nights when he decided he wanted to nurse (after having not nursed for a couple of days), and I just gave him a cup of milk and some cereal, then rocked him and sang to him so that he got 'mommy cuddles' without nursing.

Good luck!

Answer 6

He might be a bit young for it, but you may think about trying to 'night wean' first... You don't have to stop nursing durring the day. How many times is he up at night?

Or, you could try and stop nursing him durring the day and keep the nighttime feeds for a while...

Either way, you don't want to completly wean him and kick him out of your bed at the same time. That can be very stressful for little ones. It will take a while to wean him...

Nightweaning:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

How is it affecting your marriage? I just went through this with my hubby and we compromised to be weaned by 2. (my son is also 15 months(

Answer 7

I'm with you. I wouldn't just let my baby cry either. And I've been through several deployments too, so I really feel for you. Generally, the rule is to never offer, never refuse when trying to wean "gently". I would also suggest putting a playpen or something similar in your room for your baby to sleep in. You can see how well the baby transitions from that and later try to go from there. My 11 month old still nurses and still sleeps in my room (in the playpen) and it doesn't affect our marriage at all.

Try attending La Leche League meetings. They have plenty of info on helping to wean toddlers and are very supportive.

Answer 8

i weaned my son at 15 months and he slept with us too (still does) anyways i got pregnant at 14 months and decided at 15 months enough was enough he was basically down to feeding at nap time during the day and if he got hurt and then during the nite.

The nite i decided that was enough i wore lots of clothing and just told him no i cuddled him and snuggled and left him in our bed with us i think it would have been too tramatic if i had made him sleep in his own bed and weaned him at the same time he cried for about 15 min with my snuggling him and i was about to give in when i relized i would eventually have to go through the heartbreaking crying again so i stuck it out for like 3 or 4 more min and he stopped and went to sleep and he didn't ask for it again at the time i was working 2 days a week and he was fine until i went to work a couple days later then when i came home he nursed for like 2 min for comfort then he was over it the same happen the next time i went to work but those were the only 2 times i gave in bc i knew he missed me alot by the time the next week rolled around he was over it completely

he needs to stay with you so he doesn't feel rejected and you can cuddle him while he crys but there are bound to be a few tears but as long as he knows you still love him everything will be fine i also suggest you spend time just sitting with him bc he will miss it then he won't feel the need to nurse so much you can get him into his own bed later

with my son i out his bed in our room across from ours now he starts in his bed and moves in ours sometime during the nite usually like 5 or 6 am its better then nothing lol

p.s. i already had him drinking juice just everyonce in a while if you need a good cup look for nuby straw cups my breastfed only son wouldn't take anything but these they are easier bc they don't understand the tipping thing silly breastfeeders

Answer 9

weaning a breastfeed baby takes time..u'll want to eliminate just one nursing at a time,distracting ur lil one with a cup of juice or water,a story,or a walk around the block at the time he would usually nurse.Wait a few days to allow him to get use to it.Since weaning is substituting other kinds of food for nutrition ur baby has been receiving from ur milk,u'll want to carefully plan how to do this. Frequently offer him drinks of water or unsweetened juices threw out the day. chunks of fresh fruit are good like oranges,melons or peaches. u'll want to be careful to offer foods that are high in protein and nutritiuos in other ways at his meal cuz he wont be getting it from ur milk anymore. make sure u do alot of cuddling and rocking comforting things cuz thats one thing baby got from nurseing was comfort. Try to make his life a lil more active so he wont be thinking bout nursing a the time.
The key is to take away the nusing time one at a time.

Answer 10

You have 2 separate issues. You don't need to wean, just nightwean.

Here is an awesome article for you.


http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp


http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070800.asp