it was about an exgirlfriend who by the way lives with his sister down the street, ive always been fearful they would get back together and the other day we were going to split up for awhile and i asked him to promise me he woudnt go with her and he answered i cant, now i feel like he would if given the chance!
2007-04-10 08:06:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you divorce Him....He doesn't have to promise you crap.....He is free as a bird and can date whom ever He so chooses......Grow up!
Don't threaten divorce or separation unless you mean it and can live with the consequences.....
2007-04-10 08:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to seek the help of a professional. From what little you have said, there is an indication that there are problems in the marriage, possible abuse of a verbal, mental or physical kind...I"m only guessing here but it reads that you pin your self worth and your entire existence on him even though he sounds to be an utter butthead. If there is a chance to salvage this marriage, then suggest marriage counseling but frankly I wouldn't waste a second more on this man. Obviously if he's still infatuated with his ex, he more than likely has already had one or more flings that you may or may not know about but I'm only guessing here from the information you have given and as always there is two sides to every story.
My suggestion stands...confront him, tell him that what was said hurt you and you want to explore marriage counseling as an avenue to save the marriage...in addition I would seek counseling to address your own inadequacies. If he bulks or tries to sweet talk you, stand firm, don't let him try to change your mind. If he is unwilling, pack you bags and leave because it takes two to save a marriage and you've done all you can.
2007-04-10 15:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by Blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A true sign of immaturity in a relationship. For starters, shame on you for turning your hand and showing it like a sloppy poker player in a high stakes game. Why would you even consider saying something like that to him when it clearly shows you have a weak spot he can exploit.
And exploit it he did! Not that this should be a coup on his part. He would have been wise to have turned to you and said "Get real" or something slong those lines. Now he's used it to sting you and his actions are that of a child who throws a temper tantrum and then does something to get back at the parents in a hurtful or careless way.
In the future...use your noggin. Never give anyone, spouse or otherwise any ammunition to use against you that you know will cut you to the quick.
Hope that you've learned something from this my dear.
2007-04-10 15:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These answers here are very very good. Good advice in all of them.
Personally, before I left him, I would casually, almost by accident, let him find out about your ex who is back in town and has been emailing and calling you. Even sit there and talk to a dial tone, or hurry and hang up when he comes into the room. Let him stew for a while.
Then leave!! hahahaha
I don't mean to be flip - Just don't let him suck away your self-esteem with his selfish actions.
2007-04-10 15:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are splitting up, how can either of you dictate what the other does? You are your own worst enemy on this one because you let it/her get to you. If you allow your own mind to think this way you are dooming your marriage from the start. Leave his past in his past and move on with your future together. But if you split, remember he is a man with a mind of his own he is going to do what he wants, not what you want him to do.
2007-04-10 15:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what i personally think is that maybe he didn't mean it.. i know of guys who really hate it when their gfs make them promise not to do something.. it's like when you ask a person to promise something, you're actually not trusting him and that can really hurt a man's ego.. change it the other way round, and you may actually feel the same too.. for the sake of your marriage, trust him that he knows what he has to do.. it's not easy but trust is extremely important in any relationship or marriage.. once it's gone, it'll almost never return..
2007-04-10 15:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't blame you for feeling that way. What he said was nasty of him because he must know how you feel about her. there's nothing that i can say to you to convince you that he wouldn't go back to her, you need to have more confidence in yourself but this is never going to happen as long as you have the threat of this relationship hanging over you. your husband needs to reassure you but he's not doing that. I'm sorry that i cant help you but i wish you well
2007-04-10 15:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by sue brew 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Split now ! Any husband that gave an answer like that is going to give you a lifetime of grief . Run and run far !
2007-04-10 15:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Simple - it's time for you to go. If he married you and cannot even promise not to get back together with an ex than he is obviously not worth your time. You can do better. Move on.
2007-04-10 15:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by LizC 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Words are the worst.. I'm seperated from my husband because of words he said. You can never take back words. But you have to think about yourself..dont stay with him because you are scared he will go to his ex. You need to focus on yourself, if you are unhappy then leave and not worry about him. And if he truely loves you he wont go to her, but if he doesn't love you then he will, and you will knwo at that point where you stand.
2007-04-10 15:12:08 · answer #10 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋