How would u react to this?

Question

My 12 yr old son lives with father by his choice when I took him home after spending spring break with me his dads grndmthr had died and wanted my daughter (14) to stay for funeral. We were 6 hours from home and she had no clothes with her but he said he would take care of it. He borrowed her clothes for the funeral but she was there for 5 days and he didnt get her any panties toothbrush or anything like that. I am mad and feel like I should say something but she asked me not to and just says she is not going back. What would u do

of course she washed her panties out every night and used her finger to brush her teeth

Answer 1

Did she bring this up at the time?
Why are you so mad now? You had the opportunity at the time to deal with this.
To make a big issue of it now is a bit ingenuous don't you think.
It was not an unreasonable request for him to ask her to stay for the funeral of her great grandmother. You could have set up the clothes and toiletries before you left. I think you have almost as much responsibility for this problem as your ex does. Does your ex know what an older girl really needs because a guy would have rolled with the situation.
Something should be said but it is simplty that it should have been handled better. Daughter should not be allowed off the hook for future visits and you get to make sure it does not happen like that again.

I do not feel you have the right to anger unless it is with yourself for dropping the ball on this one.

This whole thing could have been avioded from the beginning had both you and your daughter been able to talk to him.
You seem to be using this as extra ammunition to be angry.
There is no doubt in my mind that your daughter did not want to be there and is using this as an excuse to not go back.
This is not fair to anyone involved. If this was not important enough to call you about at the time it should not be a bone of contention now.
Was she prevented from calling you or from mentioning that she needed $ 12.00 for panties and a toothbrush? If not she is also responsible for setting this up. Make sure your anger is not misplaced.

Answer 2

That is a health issue and I definetely would say something about it and I would also make sure to write the dates down for future reference. (you never know when you may have to produce proof for something). I have to ask; how would you have felt for 5 days with no tooth brush or clean underwear? Good grief, she could have gotten some kind of an infection!!!
Also I would be worried about your sons well being. You should check into it.

Answer 3

Im afraid i would have to tell him,of course letting him know that he is not to tell her that he knows. Explain to him that she did not want u to speak HER DAD.

What was he thinking. It is not fair on your daughter. Is he usually like this??
Good luck!!! And tell him if he thinks anything of his daughter,then he will keep his mouth shut.

Answer 4

I'd pop an artery! 5 days without brushing her teeth or changing her panties?? I would let my ex know that it's not acceptable!

Answer 5

That was horrible of him. I think your daughter is right. Don't say anything. If he ever asks why she won't come back, let him know then.

Answer 6

For me....he would hear about it. But that's me, you do what is best for you and your daughter. If he asks for her again you can let him know then why it's not going to happen.

Answer 7

I would sooooo cus his a** out. I would make sure that never happens again.

Answer 8

He is not responsible or trustworthy