A heart, a hand
To hold on, so tight
As you reach for the land,
You find all is right.
2007-04-10 06:28:25 · 3 answers · asked by Friends_with_Buttercup! 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Good simple poem, but if anything, ironically, it is perhaps too wordy. Why do you need "on" in line two? It doesn't need to be there; or "as you" in line three, also not necessary ...
But it has great ideas and symbolism.
2007-04-10 06:32:27 · answer #1 · answered by John B 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good, but as suggested, try:
"A heart, a hand
Hold on, so tight
Reach for the land
And find that all is right"
Please forgive me for correcting your poem!
2007-04-10 22:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by Mailman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it very much, especially after John B's suggestions.
2007-04-10 15:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋