Disrespectful stepson is almost 19 back living at home and won't pay rent. What can we do?

Question

My husband and I sat down and talked iwth him on the conditions of living back at home with us. He's disregarded most of it and is still not paying rent. He is working, but only part-time. He is very lazy and rude, and I just can't take it any more. I need some suggestions on how to deal with this.

Answer 1

OK.....been here and done this......this is what you have to do. You and your husband have to sit down and have a talk about this....you need to tell him that the son is not living up to his end of the bargain, and that you are tired of him being disrespectful, that even though he has agreed to pay rent...but is not.....this gives him absolutely no right to treat any of you disrespectfully. you and your husband or just your husband is going to have to tell him to pay all the rent he owes, by x number of days....this is usually on his next pay day, and that if he cannot treat the ppl in the ppl in your home with respect he will have to leave.....if he does not pay, and if he continues to treat you all badly....HE HAS TO GO!!!!

Yes it is hard....but you are not doing him any favors by allowing him to do this and treat you this way. We had to this....and we went through about a year of his son being bitter, for what my husband had done. But my husband handeled it all, I did nothing....I just told him that I could not live this way anylonger and that was all I said....he gave his son 1 week to get straight with his attitude and so forth and needless to say, he didn't and one day when he came home my husband met him at teh door and told him he wanted him out. and that he was not to come back until he showed the family tremendous respect and apologize. His sone now is doing very well and even understnad why his father did what he did. But that boy is going to be mad for a while....but you are doing nothing at all to help him become a productive adult....by taking his abuse...you are just showing him that he can treat you and other adults that way, so he needs to be out in the real word treating his bosses this way....it will not take him long to figure out that he cannot treat ppl disrespectfully.

Answer 2

it fairly is what it expenses to run a house in London: Council Tax £2,000 Water costs 350 gasoline and electrical energy a million,2 hundred homes and contents coverage a million,000 Groceries for 2 5,500 maintenance and maintenance a million,000 complete: £11,500. (approximately $17,000) a 300 and sixty 5 days NB it fairly is only to RUN the abode AND does not think regarding the fee of procuring for OR RENTING the valuables. If there's a private loan to pay, this would upload something from approximately £3,000 - £24,000 a 300 and sixty 5 days. So what your mom is calling you to pay is only a fragment of the actual value of working a house. you're a guy now, not a infant, and collectively as you're being worthwhile you're able to be proud to make a contribution, fairly if your mom and father have had to conflict in the previous. maximum mom and father make a severe financial sacrifice for his or her toddlers over some years. in the event that they are rich, that's a distinctive kettle of fish, and you will possibly in all probability not be envisioned to pay your way, as they have already got lots. Now, with this advice and a clearer image of what's in contact, do what you understand on your coronary heart is right

Answer 3

Does your husband know that you are fed up? Step one would be to be honest with him. Tell him you've reached the end of your rope on this one.

Then, the two of you together need to address the issue with your stepson again. Set a timetable. Tell him he has X amount of time to start paying you X amount of money per month (and whatever other guidelines you want to set up) or you are changing the locks. That is all there is to it.

You could even BUY a new lock and show it to him during the meeting. Tell him on X day (like a month away, or so) you expect to be paid and to see a change in his behavior or he is gone. For good.

It may seem cruel, but it will probably work.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Yahoo!Answer's may have wanted to make this an "interesting question", but to me, it is ALL TOO COMMON. Remember the famous words spoken - children add only 10% happiness and 90% stress. Now I am not asking you to look back at your teen years, no,no, because you and I were raised much differently! To days youth came up sooooooo fast, they haven't caught on yet. Your stepson is just one of millions. God forbid, you are looking at your future,so you had better be prepared. Save your money! Nothing at his age is going to work, not when it comes from you or his father. Your just the "wicked" stepmom, and his father is the "fool" who married you. He will never like you. You are the "problem" not him! Am I correct so far. Nineteen is not old enough to understand. This boy should be in school. Advancing his life skills, so he will be able to support himself and his family. You could "kick" him to the curb, but you won't, he has a part of you, you love his father. The boy is still very young, and reckless,thoughtless,rude,selfish and I could go on. He is typical of his age group . Be grateful if he is NOT into drugs,drinking,having unprotected sex, hits you or his father, steals from you. Get more involved in his life and his friends,encourgage family togetherness. Get his dad to do manly things with his son. Keep the boy occupied and his hands busy, as busy as you can, even with things that he likes. For as long as he is busy, he keeps out of trouble, and a busy mind produces well above average. I wish you all the luck in the world, and invest in this young man, it will be the best investment you will ever make. I Just LOVE our young people, it is the adult world that confuses them.

Answer 5

set the ground rules, if he can't meet the requirements..time to get out.
unfortunatley, I had to do this with my 21 yr old step daughter. She was rude and disrespectful. She could live rent free as long as she was respectful. But...diddnt happen, I had to boot her out, I have minor children in the home and I did not want to set this example for them to follow.
By not putting your foot down you are being an enabler. My stepdaughter now has BOUGHT her own home. She has become more responsible. Her attitude has changed a bit as well.

Answer 6

Tell your husband you want to be a team and call a family meeting. Tell him what you want to have happen, what you need to have happen and ask him to join you in setting boundaries with his son. Hopefully, he will agree with you. If not, tell him straight out that the stress of the living arrangments and the fact that the agreed to rules are not being met that you feel trapped. Ask him to join you in counseling if need be.

Reading material to consider:
Parents Teens and Boundaries: How to Draw the Line, Jane Bluestein PhD
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Love Must Be Tough: Straight Talk, James C. Dobson

Good luck to you.

Answer 7

If he is not following the rules and living up to what you agreed on then you need to have him leave.If you let him stay you are just enabling him to be an irresponsible person.He is 19 and it is time for him to grow up.Sound's like you need to enforce some tuff love..You should not be disrespected in your own home..Good Luck & Best Wishes.

Answer 8

If he's unable to live up to the conditions laid out....AND do it with respect, then it's time for him to move out. It's that simple. However, do NOT become the evil step parent who lays down the law. It needs to be a combined decision between both biological and step parent....And a combined presentation to the son as well.

Answer 9

The rules in my house are this, You are going to school or you are working. If it is work you will pay rent or you move out. How do you get him out? Husband has to set a date or a rent.
It is in by the date or GET OUT. If he will not go then start formal eviction. That would get his attention.
A lot of tough love needed here.

Answer 10

Look he needs to get kicked out or if it get's to the point where it's out of control and you can't do much about it you call the cops or you can always deal with it in court he is an adult already!You should not be going through all of this specially if he is disrespectful!!Act now before it really gets out of control.....Good Luck!!