I am currently married to someone who has abused me and he is currently sitting in an ISF facility. He will be home in ten days and unfortunately i have fallen in love with this man and my daughter loves him to death. I am scared to death that this second chance that i am givin him won't be worth it. He has been away for the last four months in lock down and during this time i have met another man, but he is black, which even if i don't continue my marriage i am scared my family won't accept this black man. I am Hispanic by the way.This man has given me all the emotional support that i have needed and right now we are simply friends and have not done anything, but he has been like an angel cause he has advised me on my situation. Please help me I fear that I will be losing someone very special if i allow myself to be hurt by my husband again.
2007-04-10 05:56:27 · 7 answers · asked by nec_tph_0227 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When he comes home he will not be living with us for that reason, he has to prove to me that he has changed and that I myself grew up in an abusive home and i don't want that for my baby girl. Is that a good start or do i just cut my loss and move on.
2007-04-10 06:04:27 · update #1
Stop everything. Now, right now you need to think about what is best for YOU and your DAUGHTER! Do you really want to go through what you've been through before? What about your daughter?
My husband is in prison due to prior drug use from when he was a teenager. If he was in for murder, rape, child abuse, or even abusive to me, I would leave my husband. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
Currently you need to figure out what you are going to do when your husband comes home and what you want for this particular relationship. You need to clear this situation BEFORE getting involved with another man.
Once you figure out what you are going to and if you decide to divorce your husband and be with this other man, it shouldn't matter what other people think. There are many couples who are from different backgrounds.
2007-04-10 06:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately abusive people don't stop being abusive and sometimes it can escalate. You shouldn't have your daughter witnessing it either. She will grow up and do what you did....marry an abuser. IT would be wise to distance yourself from him. It might also be wise to keep your new friend as just that. Your are still married, your husband has only been away 4 months....why are you compromising your situation even more?
2007-04-10 14:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what anyone thinks or says. What matters is that you and your daughter are happy. Color or race has nothing to do with love. You fall in love with who GOD sends your way. This man could be your angel and you are willing to just let him go?
Think about yourself. If your husband abused you in the past what makes you think where he is at now is making him a better person? Are you willing to put your daughter in harms way if the abuse continues?
Make you life for you and look deep in your heart and follow it!
2007-04-10 13:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by Valentina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he abused you do not take him back right away. Make him get a place of his own and prove that he has changed. If he is not willing to do that then say its over. I would never raise a child in an abusive home. It damages the child to much.
2007-04-10 13:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by tprx899 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even messing with the man who abuses you? Leave him alone and get with the man who treats you right. If your family has a problem with his color then that's their problem. If they love you they will want you with a man that treats you right rather than a man who will hurt you no matter what color he is. You don't deserve to be hit or abused in any way! No one does.
2007-04-10 13:08:00 · answer #5 · answered by momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a women and a mother, your heart is going to tell you what to do to keep you daughter happy and out of harms way.
2007-04-10 13:04:40 · answer #6 · answered by Reckless 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump your husband and go on for your happiness, that's all I can say.
2007-04-10 13:01:26 · answer #7 · answered by Aatami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋