I have been married for 15 years and have 4 children. My husband has a tendancy to be very flirtacious when he is drinking but I feel he really crossed the line when he touched someone elses breast and kissed another girl in front of me. Is this considered cheating to anyone else and how should I handle this?
2007-04-10 05:31:02 · 29 answers · asked by perfectxxromance 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a similar problem, and someone wrote me...
"Adultery in biblical terms is looking at another woman with intent. Legally it take sexual intercourse. Depending on your definition depends on what you considered cheating" (paraphrased)
You are totally in a predicament! I know, because I am on the wrong end of the stick right now, and I can tell you that IS cheating. At least you saw it first hand, not through word of mouth (gossip). So you know what context it was in. He needs to do some soul searching, as I am doing now. He is indeed cheating. I suggest a lot of discussion and make sure that he understands what has transpired. Also he needs to know how you feel about it!
Someone else had written me stating , "You are a flirt. Your not being honest with yourself as to why. If it`s ruining your marriage....... START THERE, and stop being so stuck on yourself."
Hope this helps!
2007-04-10 06:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by Pachinko Machine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely cheating. Would he consider it cheating if you kissed a guy in front of him? I'll bet he would. Drinking is no excuse. If he does this in front of you, what the hell does he do when your not there? Once a cheater always a cheater. He's probably been cheating on you, maybe you just refuse to see it. I know it can't be easy with 4 kids, but living with a cheater isn't easy either. If your unhappy your kids are going to be unhappy. Sometimes its just better to be alone if the man your with doesn't respect you and treat you like the queen you are. Good luck sweetie.
2007-04-10 05:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by SusiQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO that is crossing the line. A peck on the cheek for an old friend. Heck if it goes that far in your presence what happens when you are not around. Drinking is not an excuse just an alibi. This situation should be dealt with and not allowed to continue. Maybe he should abstain from drinking.
2007-04-10 05:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by Victor B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kissing another person when in a relationship and fondling of a breast or buttocks or whatever else one grabs whether under the influence of aclcohol or not is a Vioation of Trust.
Go out with your husband, get drunk, grab some other mans penis and stroke it while kissing and see what hubby's view on "cheating" is.
2007-04-10 05:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very upset, and yes, TECHNICALLY it's cheating...
but I doubt I would leave my husband over it. I'd maybe consider the possibility of my hubby having a drinking problem. I'd definitely have a LONG talk with him about it, and possibly even with a counselor present--just to keep that impartial 3rd party around to keep emotions from getting completely out of hand. Mine, not my husbands.
2007-04-10 05:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would help if I knew more about where you were and if this person is a friend of you both etc...
If he is doing this in front of you, you don't know what he is capable of when your not around. However if this is a friend or family member and he was just "playing" around I wouldn't call it cheating but I would have been pissed...I feel I need more info here
2007-04-10 05:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Cheating" is a matter of how a couple have defined it. To most, I would assume, any form of inappropriate contact with another is considered cheating. What he did was wrong. Does he feel the same way? Does he see an issue with this?
2007-04-10 05:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kissing another woman is NOT cheating. Either is touching but he is going to far with his flirting. If you were not present it could have turned into something else.
When you have sex with someone other than your spouse or 'exchange boldily fluids' it is then cheating.
Perhaps he should get some counseling on his drinking habits.
2007-04-10 06:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is cheating and disrespectful. I have been drunk as a skunk before and yes I am a little flirtier when I am, but I know dang good and well what I am doing.
He did this in front of you what does he do when you're not around?
2007-04-10 05:39:07 · answer #9 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to control his drinking, or do it in private.
If it was a one time thing and he was truly drunk, it is bad but not inforgivable.
If he uses being drunk to flirt and touch other women, I would have a big problem with that.
And I guess it would depend on if the girl was a stranger or friend.
2007-04-10 05:38:04 · answer #10 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋