I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. We are very in love, but decided it was best to break up last friday. It was devastating to me, but he wasn't ready for marriage and I was. One of the most important things in my life is the chance to be married and raise a family. He's still finishing college, and doing film school, and I'm done with school and working fulltime. Is it possible to love someone with all yourheart, but still remain broken up? Its the hardest thing to know that he's the one I want to be with for the rest of my life, and for him to kow the same, but for us to simply part ways and move out of our house that we made together. Am I making the right decision? Or should I stay with him for however long it takes for him to decide he is ready to marry me?
2007-04-10 05:28:00 · 12 answers · asked by hawaiianrain69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have a goal, you want to be married and have a family. Right now, the man you love doesn't have that same goal, you have two different goals. It's not a matter of your goal is "right" or his is "right," it's what is right for each of you. Yes, you're going to hurt right now, you've ended a relationship that you were in for 2 years, endings hurt. There's no way to avoid the hurt. Relationships (and marriages) are built on having common goals as a couple, if you don't even share the same goals for your lives together, then you're really in for an uphill battle in making the relationship work.
If what you really and truly want deep down in your gut is marriage and a family, then yes, you made the right decision for YOU. If you want THIS particular man, no matter what, then you might want to re-think it.
Personally, I would've done the same thing you did. It's hard I know, but I think you'll be happier in the long run. You've just got some sadness and even grieving to go through now, but that will make the happiness when you do find the man who is ready to make that committment to you that much better. Best of luck to you.
2007-04-10 05:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Having a family is wonderful, having a family with the one your love the most is a gift from God. Remember, the one you marry is the one who will be there long after the children are grown and gone. Why not wait for this man if you are in love with him? Are you really willing to just settle for the first man who wants to start a family? Or can you slow down and not be selfish and wait for the man you love?
2007-04-10 12:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so he's finishing college so I assume he's like 23, or 24? He won't be ready for probably about another 4-5 years unless he decides you're the love of his life and he can't live without you. This is a tough one...what does your heart say?
2007-04-10 12:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it,s good but sometimes it,s bad only you
know what you want for sure,but why did,nt you just wait it
out? you have to work on the relationship it takes a long time
to know a person and you only been together for 2 years.
you need to stop and think before you react. obviously you
were not thinking about your consequences now later on
you may think i want him back and he may be hurt and move
on you have no faith in the relationship or you wouldn,t
have left. you are scared that you may be wasting time
but not necessary,things happen at the right time and
not the wrong time oh yeah there is a such thing as wrong
time. you need to think this over.
2007-04-10 12:38:23 · answer #4 · answered by Tella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should wait until he finishes school. it is hard to ask a man to settle down and raise a family when he is not prepared. i know a lot of men feel horrible if they arent ready to provide for a family. he may feel like a failure. if you love him that much and you both do see commitment in the future, then stay together. if he is just using you for a ride but does not want to commit, drop him because he is only holding you back.
2007-04-10 12:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by NAQ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It took a lot of courage to make such a difficult decision as that. I commend you on recognizing what you want out of life and out of a partner, and sticking to your guns (however, painfully difficult it was to do) when you saw that the person you love most in your life wasn't going to be able to offer that to you.
Yes, as horribly difficult a decision it was, I think it was the right one.
2007-04-10 12:34:57 · answer #6 · answered by biiiiaaach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is best to take time apart.
This way he can decide on what he really wants out of life. You have to realize though that it may not be marriage for him and you'll need to, even though it's difficult, try to move on.
2007-04-10 12:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by frozenpancake582 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are? Life is always a gamble and sometimes we do things that work out well, and sometimes they don't. I hope when you look back on your decision, it was the right one for you.
No one can give you advice, really. Just - good luck.
2007-04-10 12:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back, be patient. Support him & over time, he will melt. My guess is, you are only young so there is plenty of time for marriage & kids. The main thing right now is that, you have love & each other.
2007-04-10 12:32:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no you did the right thing it may not feel like it now but in the long run you'll see it was the right thing to do...he may take YEARS to marry you are willing to wait that long?
2007-04-10 12:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by va757 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋