Last year, the wife and I took 2 months off work to travel abroad & break ground on the house we hope to be moving into sooner rather than later. We've been back for 4 months.
To help us save, we moved in with her parents for very cheap rent and since then, she's made it clear that all the work she needs to do is enough to cover our rent and going out with all my wages going into savings.
This equates to 2 hours a day after which time, she comes home & gets into bed where 99 times out of 100, she still is when I get in, 7 hours later.
Both her parents and myself have full time jobs but we're the ones who do all the housework.
If I bring it up, I get nothing but tears (of course) and sorries and how she'll change but nothing ever does.
I know her parents aren't happy with it either but they're just happy to have her home and won't / don't say anything.
Also, she (naturally) gets bored so "we" have to get out of the house and spend the money we're supposed to be saving
2007-04-10 04:48:24 · 23 answers · asked by DMsView 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She doesn't sleep a lot. Just lays in bed and watches TV.
2007-04-10 04:55:52 · update #1
I'm sorry, but it sounds to me as if your wife is depressed and actually, it sounds as if it has been a long-term affliction.
Look on the internet for 'symptoms of depression' and see how many boxes you can tick about your wife's behaviour.
In my experience, people are not 'bored' in the way you describe... It is more, avoidance of being alone or still long enough to ... feel or think.
This is only my opinion, but it was the first thing that struck when I read your question.
2007-04-10 05:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by joanna_jaunts 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would think twice before you two get together, if there are problems already in your relationship there will be a lot more once you move into your new house. You will then be going to work full time and coming home to do all the housework and perhaps even cooking your evening meal. Do not spend the money you are saving, you will have to stay with the inlaws for ever at this rate, she sounds totally lazy and will never change. Good luck
2007-04-10 11:04:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she may be going through a depression or life change. Hormones play a big part in this as well. I don't think she wants to spend her whole day in bed but finds that she may be overwhelmed with the decisions on what to do now that she is back home. Does she take on the wife role/ or the daughter role? etc. You are a very understanding husband and bless ya for taking care of things..but she needs to get some type of treatment before it gets worse. Depression will only get worse, pretty soon she may start to feel like she can't accomplish anything etc...good luck. Also see if she will get checked for ADD..thousands of women are often diagnosed with other things before ADD, and she just may be overwhelmed and not know where to begin. But there is treatment. Good luck!
2007-04-10 05:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
this woman sounds depressed. have your plans fallen through? do they seem out of reach to her? when you say 2 hours work do you mean she's working 14 hours a week/ maybe she's lost touch with the outside world and is just hiding in bed? i hope this works out for you both because i do feel as if theres something wrong here. good luck
2007-04-10 06:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by sue brew 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's clearly deeply depressed. Take her to a doctor and get her on some med's. Then get her to a shrink of some sort.
Knowing when to grow a pair is the toughest decision except this time.
2007-04-10 05:02:53 · answer #5 · answered by betmexxx 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I hope she as least keeps you updated on what happened on Jerry Springer, Maury, Judge Judy, ect.? I bet she watches some of the soap operas too?
Of course, after lying around the house all day watching tv, she needs to get out and do something in the evenings.
She sounds kinda trailer parky to me.
2007-04-10 05:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Move all the money into a new separate bank acct under your name only and say you put it into an IRA or short term CD. This will look like you have tied up the money so it can't be spent.
Keep depositing into the new acct every week. If she talks about needing to go out just tell her "We need to set aside some money for just us." THEN DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. If she isn't going to change way should you.
Observe her and mirror her behavior. If she is changing then you change, but if she flakes then you flake. Fair is fair.
Would you keep a promise to a liar?
2007-04-10 05:18:35 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
pack your bags; leave ; buy a place on your own
my son moved in with his girlfriend to discover that all his money went on paying the bills while hers went on makeup and enjoying herself. she worked 20 hrs per week compared to his 40 and she did nothing round the house at all.
they split up last montha nd the place has never looked so tidy.
2007-04-10 05:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by D B 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Have you considered that she might be depressed? Get her to a doctor. Too much sleep is a symptom of depression.
2007-04-10 04:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by Musicfish 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's depressed. I'm almost suicidal and I don't want to do anything either. But, I don't want to go out and spend any money either.
2007-04-10 04:52:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋