I am a guy with an EGO that's hurting my relationship, WHY!??

Question

I have been battling with being the Nice Guy for so long. Been married for 5 years with two kids. I try to keep up appearances by denying that I am a bit of an Egotist. If a girl smiles at me, it makes me feel good, but I think that is the wrong reaction. I want to keep my Ego, even though it is not what I feel like I should be doing. I lie about dumb crap to keep up this visaed of being the Nice Guy, but my Ego is not a Nice Guy thing. The Ego is more of an average self-centered guy. How come I am fighting back the Ego, yet I am still "friends" with it? It is ruining my marriage, and I have been outright lying about how I feel. I want to be this Nice Guy, yet I let me Ego get away with stuff that is not appropriate. Why am I having to even fight with this Ego?! Why can't I seem to override it? Is it because I am not open and honest? Or is it just that much of me that I can't control it? Do other guys try to ignore this, or do they just give up, embrace it, and become the stereotype?

Well, the past has more to it, of course. I was looking at nudes on the web, and created a whole lack of trust between us years ago, and I have had a time trying to kick the "habit" and regaining any kind of trust. I am a pig in that sense. I know this, but it has been hard digging deep enough to find the source of the problem. I am feeling like it's my EGO. I appreciate the input, I am looking for a real honest Answer, and trying to quit making Excuses! Help us with some input! Thanks!

Answer 1

There is alot more to life than worrying about your Ego. Everyone has an Ego of some sort and feel good when others notice or when you have done something great. The more you think about yourself and your ego the more unhappy you will be. The more worried you will be about it all the time. Be true to yourself and to others. Think about your family would you like your kids to have to battle with such a thing in their own lives leaving them confused.?? Would you rather raise them in knowing that they are true to themselves and are giving great wholehearted people?? And your wife...im sure she loves you but shouldnt you be a loving, giving, hardworking husband for her and your family?? It is easier said than done about "overriding" your ego. Keep up appearances for YOURSELF to make yourself feel great and positive in the day. If other people notice..thats ok they may think that you are upbeat, positive, and feel good about yourself.....or what if they were to befriend you and find that you are very self-centered?? They wouldnt think of you the same and then appearance doesnt matter too much anymore does it. BE A NICE GUY FROM YOUR HEART...dont LOOK LIKE A NICE GUY. :) :) Think about your family..think about others and try to end this war within yourself ..someone has to win. Allow yourself to be the stronger one in this war. Dont let your ego take over because it will take over you and may destroy your life much more than you think. Good luck :)

Answer 2

I dont think it really matters if your male or female. Everyone likes getting checked out. I am married also and i still like to turn heads but when i do i just smile and keep on going. Just the recognition is ego boosting nothing is wrong with that. As long as your faithful to your wife it shouldnt really matter. Though Im sure she dont want to see other people checking you out whether it be harmless or not. Just ignore it when she is around and pay it no mind. All eyes on her

Answer 3

You are who you are and the way god made you. Everyone is different and you are uniquely YOU. People in your life have to understand that. Like you said, you want to be a nice guy, which means that you're not trying to hurt anyone. If you were a bad guy you wouldn't care who got hurt.

Answer 4

You are a flirt. Your not being honest with yourself as to why. If it`s ruining your marriage....... START THERE, and stop being so stuck on yourself.