Divorce, the aftermath?

Question

Can you please tell me the reason why you have divorced and what it feels like after divorcing your partner. The pros and cons. People with children, how do they react? Do you feel sorry for them and think you should never had done it?

Answer 1

When I divorced my daughter's dad, it was because he was cheating. My daughter was upset and crying and didn't completely understand, but she healed. She knew she would get to see her dad whenever he wanted...while he still lived in the same area....so she was cool with it. I am divorcing now because of lying, drugs, alcohol, and abuse (mostly verbal and emotional). As for feeling sorry for him and should have never done it? All I can say is if you learn from your mistakes and make a POSITIVE change, and not make excuses for what you did, then it isn't always going to be a mistake.

Answer 2

This is a great question because it's different for each person. If you loved someone for a long time and then get a divorce, it's like having a body part amputated. That's the best way I can describe it. It takes a while to get back on your feet (again each person is different). If you have children, both parents have to reiterate that it's not the children's fault). Also, you can't stay in a relationship just for the kids. It's like my mother told me (divorced raising 3 boys) You don't have to be your child's father, but you can be a father to your child. I feel sorry for the children in any divorce. No matter what's said or done, it's an impression that always stays with the child. I know this from experience.
By the way, Good for nikky d to leave an abusive husband. She's got my vote.

Answer 3

The reason I divorced was because my husband was unfaithful. I was glad I found out that he had been unfaithful as I was being made a fool of.

I was relieved when my divorce came through, because I could start my life over again and move away from people that knew about the affair but did not see fit to tell me about it.

Thankfully I have no children so that was not something to be worried about in my case.

I do not feel sorry for divorcees, they are not dead, they can still make a new life for themselves after divorce

Answer 4

I divorced my husband because he was controlling, verbally abusive, always wanted his own way and to do his own thing even though we had two kids, never helped around the house but always picked fault. I also worked full-time and looked after the kids and the house.

Crunch time came when he started becoming violent, after one evening when he came home after being out drinking he picked a petty argument, sent the kids to bed then grabbed me by the throat (which my kids saw as they had come downstairs again because of the shouting). I walked out on him that night with the kids and never went back.

It was the best decision I ever made and I wish I'd done it sooner. Divorce always has a derimental affect on the kids no matter whether its amicable or not.

You have to do what you feel is right.

Answer 5

I divorced after ex-husband beat me on several occasions. Often thought i should have stayed for daughters sake, but when mummy is black and blue the majority of the time, and asking why mummy is always upset, you kinda figure there has to be more to life. I divorced not only for the beatings, but the adultery, the stealing of money, me having to work two jobs while he spent time and money in pub. Not good. My daughter was ok after the initial break up, i kept going back (fool) which confused her, and myself, with my divorce being finalised about two years ago. I then moved four hundred miles away from him, and have had no contact since. I would never stop my daughter from contacting her dad, she knows where to find him, but at present does not want anything to do with him.

Answer 6

I divorced because my husband had a drug problem and in his escapades in the kingdom of highdom he cheated on me. I had stuck by him for almost 8 years, but once he cheated that was a deal breaker.

After divorcing I felt free and relieved. No more sleepless nights, no more worrying about him. He was on his own and not my problem anymore.

The kids weren't thrilled, but I told them the reasons why, explained to them it was not their fault and explained to them that their dad still loves them. It helps alot though that he is clean and sober now and very much a part of their lives. That makes the BIGGEST difference, when both parents can look past the pain and focus on getting along. The kids see that and it really does lighten the load.

Getting divorced was the best thing in our case. I couldn't take the hurt anymore and it was effecting me in negative ways. Destroying me. I am so much happier now and in turn so are my kids. They don't have to watch their mom suffer any longer and they themselves don't have to suffer with worry over their dad.

Answer 7

Well I've never divorced anyone but I kno how feels as a kid who parents are going to get a divorce or being seperated. Well my parents never actually even got a divorce but one day my dad came upstairs and started screaming "YOUR MOM'S A LIAR, SHE BEEN SLEEPIN AT ****'S HOUSE" When i heard that and my dad threating to get a divorce, I was scared because the only important thing I asked of God was to keep our family together, no matter what. It hurt even more when my dad started lookin for apartments cuz then i knew, hey we really are leaving. But i went to Church on Sunday and I've been cleanig up my act and i dont think we're leaving anymore. Yay lol

Answer 8

Verbal abuse as well as being controlled in all aspects of my life, including makeup, hair, and what to wear. Children suffered immensely. Would probably not have divorced him until they were 18. But I may have died by then.

Answer 9

Everyones case if different, my kids were older and they accepted it very well, their mother and I had not been friendly for some time and after I left they didnt have to deal with the stress in the home. For myself I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted and had the opportunity to discover who I was, I ended up meeting an incredible woman who loves me for me.

Answer 10

Taz every divorcee has its own story, but mine will not be bad. I will have my life the way it was before, my career, now with my kids and no more heavy drama. He committed adultery a few months ago,and he didn't think the circumstances that will do with our kids. but because I have a very close relationship with my kids their pain of their father betrayal is healing. They still love their father but there's no more trust and respect that they can give him. So now my kids are healing slowly but were on the right path....