Found a note in hubby's car?

Question

A little back round first though. About 2 months ago my husband told me a girl at work asked him out, he told her he was married. I found a note in his car from this girl telling him he should go out on Saturday. My husband said he was going to through away the note, and just forgot. He just got it the morning I found it. (it had a date on it) He said he didn't even think to tell me because he didn't even think of going, and he told this girl that. (we don't go out much)

I dont wanna be one of those women who miss the signs that her husbands cheating, and I honestly dont think he ever would, but ..... its not like a cheater would just come right out and say "hey im a cheater"

I guess I would just like some other opinions
Thanks

Answer 1

Sometimes it is difficult to give someone the benefit of the doubt. But I think that is what I would suggest for now. Keep your eyes open. This issue seems like it would be a good time to have some open / honest conversations. Find out what each other likes / dislikes about the other. Try to get him involved in helping make your relationship better.

Answer 2

There are a lot of good answers already here. Except the one that says "wait until he starts working late..." no. Get to the bottom of it now. Look through the wallet. visit him unexpected at work... and his answer that he "doesn't remember"... that's b.s. and you know it. Someone is hitting on him and he liked it enough to keep the note... I'm so sorry, don't let it just pass. Get to the bottom. Tell him it's still bothering you, and your not stupid. You need to know where it came from, and tell him he needs to be honest. If it's still "i can't remember".. or some other lame excuse then he's not gonna be honest about it. He's hiding something.

Answer 3

No, I cheater will NEVER EVER come out and say I'm cheating. You truly need to keep your eyes opened. You do not want to get an STD that may be the end of your life. Just keep an open communication with him. At any point in your marriage where your Husband starts acting different, weird and even combative. He's on the road of Cheatville.

Answer 4

You husband is probably not cheating, or at least it doesn't seem so by what you said. Just keep your eyes open to signs, no matter how good your marriage seems. If he starts staying at work late, and finding other things to do on a regular basis that you are not involved in, I would start to feel suspicious. Make sure you attend his next company get together and have him point this floozy out to you. Any woman that would continue to hit on a married man is no good... I wouldn't approach the woman, but if she comes up and introduces herself, I would say something along the lines of oh, so you are the Susan that wanted to go out with my husband, I can't blame you, he is a special man, but he is also married.

Answer 5

He's probably telling you the truth. If he was cheating, he would be making plans to go out, and he would probably say he was going with "just some friends from work". He would also make more of an effort to hide the note. He wouldn't have forgotten about it because getting caught would be on his mind. The only thing that would bug me is that you found the note in his car, not on his car. Why didn't he just throw the note out when she gave it to him? The only plausible explanation for that is that she left it on his car at work and he was going to throw it out at home, which is possible. Seriously, there's no need to run back inside to throw it out. Sounds to me like she's a workplace hussey. They can be pretty persistent, since they can interact with their prey any day without the potential of running into the wife. There was a girl like this where my husband used to work. I ran into her one night at a bar (she didn't know who I was, but I had asked around our small town about her, so I knew her story), and I let into her. I was so mad, I was shaking. Anyway, now she's dating someone who worked with my husband (company bicycle anyone? everyone gets a ride?). I politely (yes, sarcasm) reminded her that married men are off limits and there's nothing worse than a vindictive, angry wife to make your life a living hell. Find out where she is going out Saturday and make an appearance. Just introduce yourself with some sarcasm if there is the chance. Just say, "I'm __________, _________'s wife"." She may not be terrified, but she'll know you're aware of her and that you mean business.

Answer 6

Your husband's story sounds legitimate; I'd say it isn't likely he's cheating, but if the situation makes you uncomfortable, you should say so in a way that doesn't accuse him.

If you would feel more secure knowing when this girl makes contact, tell him that, and ask him to let you know when he spurns her advances. Tell him what it would mean to you that he is totally transparent about that situation, and any other that might arise. He might not understand it, but don't hold that against him. It is whether or not he's willing to make you feel comfortable that counts.

That said, we (men) don't want to have to prove ourselves faithful all the time. We want to be trusted. One of the most important things you can do in this situation is let your husband know that you do trust him, but that the situation makes you feel uncomfortable (or any other emotion you are feeling as a result). Use it as a way to talk about your marriage--what is good about it, what could be better, what you can work on together, what you can do for him...

Send a lot of "I" messages--"I feel, think, ______________." What you want to do is help him understand how all of this affects you, not convey that you don't trust him.

Answer 7

I would go to his work and eat lunch with him. Make my presence known to this GIRL.

This is the problem. Women don't respect the boundaries of another woman's man. That is why there are no good men left cause the hussy that don't know how to get there own want to take and tempt the ones that are already taken. How are the men suppose to say know all the time. Eventually it is one time too many.

I would just watch my husbands moods and things closely and monitor his where abouts if I was worried about it. You have to trust him though. Tell him that he should nip it in the bud though. If this girl keeps coming on to him then it can be considered sexual harassment, if it is unwanted behavior.

Answer 8

By the sounds of it i don't think that your husband is cheating. e and you I think that you might be parriniod! Becasue it sounds like your hubby really thought that the note was "cool" (because if you got a note of some cute guy at work would you be mad? Or would you be happy because you are married to the love of your life and yoiu still get asked out) and if i were you i wouldn't worry about it! Hope that this helped
L

Answer 9

Do you trust your husband?
Also, do you two communicate well?

I'm the same as you, I know my husband will not cheat - but sometimes I do wonder if I'm naive. He's had girls ask him out too. (and that's being polite)

Advice, talk lots with your husband and be a great wife. If there is one person who you have to put your absolute trust in, it's the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. What else can we do??? I'm sure you've had guys interested in you but you were smart enough not to do anything - is your husband smart enough?

Maybe you should mail that note back to her with a cuddly pic of you and your hubby, on the back, from you - lol I'm kidding!

Answer 10

He seems to be the one bring it up, therefore you have nothing to worry about. Had he been hiding things that might be a different thing but that is not the case. Now is the time to show him that you trust him, make this a non issue. Believe me, if he wanted to go out with this girl, there would have been no way you would ever have found that note.