Any Ideas on how to be positive in this type of situation?

Question

I am leaving my boyfriend of 18 month in 14 days. Our relationship was very very bad at times, & I have lost all my trust in him & feel he doesnt respect me & so forth, never the less I love him, I know thats probably really dumb...I am going to miss him & his company/presence...I cry like everyday now cause I know I am leaving & no I cant stay chances are just too great that he will disrespect me again & then I will be mad atmyself all over again...so do yawl have any remedis on how this could be 100% easier or how I could look forward to leaving or how I could make peace with the fact that I am loosing him & that I gave up on what I thought was the love of my life? I cry cause when I first met him I fell so hard in love with him i thought that he was it forever that I would never have to worrie about things anymore that I finally found love & now I am not even myself anymore & I cry cause I quit trying to make this work, but sometimes it takes 2 to try...I will love him forever

Answer 1

You absolutely need to remember 1 thing........you deserve better. If he mistreats you, whether physical or mental, it's wrong. I will also tell you your probably nervous about being alone. Here's my best opinion........he cannot possibly be the love of your life, if your leaving. The love of your life, which will come at some point will not treat you disrespectfully, will put you on a pedestal of sorts, and will do whatever it takes to make you happy. The joy will return to your heart after it's had time to heal, but don't rush, just remember your doing this for YOU, and if he's not looking out for you like he should, then you have to! I wish you a renewed happy heart, and another to love and support, and cherish you like you deserve. Good luck, and be strong....you can do it!

Answer 2

You may love him forever but you deserve so much better than what you have. Sure it was great in the beginning, but apparently it isnt now and you have to live in the now not the past. You should keep the fond memories and move on. You have grown and evolved with this relationship. Next time around you might really find the love of your life. You are going to go through like a mourning process over this relationship but as soon as you come to the step that you realize it is not healthy for you, you will be able to put it and him in your past. There are more men out there, some worse some better, just keep your options open and dont settle for less than you deserve. Good luck, dry your eyes and see that the man of your dreams just hasnt come along yet, when he does you will know.

Answer 3

Yeah, been with my husband for about 18 years, thought he was my soul mate in the beginning and now I just think he was a big mistake. I look back and think about all the years I have lost being miserable with him. Just hang on to the fact that you are not going to be wasting years of your life away on this person. You may feel bad now and cry all the time but you can only get so low where you hit the bottom and the only way out is up. Hang in there, there are millions of men in the world, you will find your real soul mate some day.

Answer 4

Nothing can make it "easy" but if you just do what you need to do time will heal those wounds.

Try and remember the good times without creating a "rose colored glasses" type image of the relationship.

Falling in love is great, getting hurt sucks but moving on when it is the right thing to do will help you heal, grow and become a stronger individual.

You need to take some time to become the woman that you want to be, to be strong and independent. You also want to take some time to cry, be sad, and heal so that you do not jump into a rebound relationship and end up hurting someone else.

Hang in there!

Answer 5

It will be small comfort, I am sure, but I applaud you for leaving a boyfriend who treated you with disrespect and who was not trustworthy. The world would be a better place if everyone set minimal standards of conduct for the people with whom they choose to involve themselves.

That said, I think you might be making a mistake to tell yourself to be positive at this point. It's been an 18-month relationship, full of emotions. Give yourself time and space to grieve. We humans are not made to get over such a serious relationship quickly. Please also be kind to yourself -- it's perfectly OK that you loved this guy. Hold onto the fact that you are making a good decision for yourself though.

Answer 6

One great way is to FILL UP THE VOID.
You do this by NEW EXPERIENCES.
My Remedy:
Go on vacation
Throw a party
Make a new friend
Go on dates
Take a class
Change your routine
Do something you've never done before.

If it makes you feel any better, I ran into my first love 17 years later (!) and he looked like hell. ANd there was no "light" in him. I kept saying "Thank God, thank God, thank God" because I could have so easily stayed with him. ANd had no love in my life.

Someone even better is heading your way. You had to meet what you didn't want to now recognize what you do want.

Many blessings!

Answer 7

You are to be commended on deciding NOW before your way over your head, the more time, the harder to leave,why are you waiting 14 days to leave? He's not the one for you to spend eternity as you said you feel, so don't waste ant more time with him, you will miss him, there's going to be days you'll wonder if you made the right choice, don't look back, if he doesn't love and respect you now he never will, it will only get worse, and you'll get hurt over and over.there's never a good way to say I'm leaving, as far as 100% , that will be how you feel later. do it for you.....keep happy memories,but remember how he treated you and why your leaving him.

Answer 8

I am going to go out on a limb and say you must be young. I say this because I grantee you well not love him for the rest of your life. He well have have a place in your heart for all the things you mentioned but living your life well show you TRUE LOVE. I am so glad you see that you are deserving more than what this guy can give you. Good luck and to make it easier, date, have fun.......

Answer 9

Your human Hun,going to hurt no one has a magic wand to wave. However you have seen and felt why you leaving, and why in 14 days how about NOW. Do something to boost your self esteem and just do it and DONT dwell on it or you will wake up 3 yrs later 2.5 kids and so miserable.

Answer 10

All you do is tell him and yourself that there will always be a spot in your heart for him. You'll keep it locked in the back corner of your heart and you will never forget him. It's time to move on because this is your life and you cannot make happiness from this situation. You have to do what's best for you and you need to know that once this decision is final, you'll never regret it. Time and space is all you need. You're going to be OK.