I know that he really does care and love me for sure and we've been together for a year and a month and i am 17 yrs. old and i know that i should know better than to take him back but it hurts me so bad and when i try and leave him alone he'll keep callin and txtin me over and over until i finally answer... I feel like when i break up with him then im punishing him b.c he cant be with me but im really punishing myself b/c it hurts me so much b/c im not with him... and this isnt the first he's cheated on me with and i want to be with him forever but i know that if i kepp taking him back he'll think its okay to do it again...so what do i do??
2007-04-10 03:31:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop answering his calls and text messages! He doesn't love you if he cheated on you!
Don't you deserve better?
2007-04-10 03:33:48 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up with someone that you have allowed into your life for a year is hard and painful but you have all the answers written in your question.
He has cheated multiple times.
He will do it again and again.
He does not feel bad because he chooses to continue to hurt you with his actions.
He does not respect you or your relationship because he cheats.
Although right now it seems this is the most painful thing in the world realize that it is partly because you have invested time and emotion but also because you are 17. At 17 a year is a huge piece of your life. If you can picture yourself at 30 and know that it will seem that this was only a learning experience of how you will or will not allow others to treat you it may make the pain easier.
Respect yourself enough to leave and let him cheat on someone else. You deserve someone that you can trust completely and know that they respect you and value you and your relationship.
2007-04-10 10:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You enjoy being hurt.
Must be - you know that he cheats and you know that he will continue to cheat and you keep taking him back.
You cannot love someone else truly unless you love yourself first. And you cannot love yourself if you continue to engage in hurting yourself.
Get rid of him. Make him believe you're serious. You will find that you CAN live without him. And then one of two things will happen -
He will not change and you will go on and have a wonderful life as a strong and independent woman, who will one day find a guy who is willing to be faithful
or this guy will realize that he cannot control you and manipulate you (which is what he is doing now, in case you hadn't noticed) and he will decide he really wants you and he really will change
and then you can decide if you want him back.
Or you can continue the road you're on now, which will lead to nothing but pain and more pain and then he will leave you.
2007-04-10 10:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Uncle John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once had to break up with my fiance when I was in love with him because he was being mentally abusive. I tried several times to break up with him, but I kept going back to him because he wouldn't give me space to breathe. He constantly called me, and when I gave in an answered the phone, I would get off the phone back together with him. Sad...
It wasn't until I had the support of my family to help me get through it. My mom was constantly with me and didn't allow me to answer my phone when he called. It gave me time to sort through what I was feeling, and figure out for myself what was best for me and what I really wanted - to be free of him. As much as I loved him, I knew he wasn't right for me. It was not a healthy relationship.
He's obviously not ready for a committed relationship, or he would not cheat on you. If he valued you as a person, he would not hurt you like that. However, he's cheated on you before, and you have taken him back before, so he knows that he can do whatever he wants, and you're going to just let him walk all over you. There is no forever with this guy for you. Let it go, gain some self respect, and realize that you are worth way more than what he can give you.
In the end, you will find love that will sweep you off your feet, and make you happier than you can imagine being. So why don't you let yourself get that? Take a risk and go for it, I know you can do it :-D
2007-04-10 10:41:35 · answer #4 · answered by RuaLinnet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is hard but you should leave him. If you have to change your number to stop yourself from talking to him than change your number. If he cheated on you once, he will cheat on you again. You are only 17 so you don't need drama like this. You will have several more boyfriends in your life. You deserve somebody who will love you and respect you like you should be. You need to be strong. Just ignore his calls and text messages. Do not ever anwer him back. After he calls you or sends you a text message just put your phone away and do something else. Talk to a friend or whateer. Good luck
2007-04-10 11:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by dbroncosfan4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are so much better than he is! Secondly, you are correct in that if he has cheated on you twice and you have taken him back, he knows if he does it again (and he will) you will continue to take him back if he works hard enough at it. I know you love him, but it could also be you are addicted to him. There is a fine line there, but think of how much better off you are without this heartache in your life, and no one deserves to be treated the way he is treating you. Of course you will hurt and miss him, but you will find someone that loves you enough to respect you and treat you the way you deserve. This boy does not respect you because if he did, he wouldn't do this to you.
Best of luck.
2007-04-10 10:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So how many times does this guy need to cheat on you for you to get a clue he isn't in love with you the way you think.
He's not being fair to you. And you're not being fair to yourself either. It's your heart that keeps breaking, and it's him that's doing it.
Wake up and smell the roses. The guy will continue to cheat, even if you marry him. So if a life of disappointment and heartache is what you're looking for in a man, then he's a perfect candidate.
2007-04-10 10:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Young. You're still learning. Take it from this 33 year old, DUMP THE CHEATING AZZ! YOU WILL GET OVER HIM! The second you are out of site he is cheating.....that speaks VOLUMES on him as person.
Good luck to you. I know it hurts. Its better to be alone for awhile, than to put up with this. Of course he is chasing you around now....all the girls in bikinis went back home too...he is a dog. Nothing more.
2007-04-10 10:35:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a few options here. 1) Block his number on your cell phone you can't answer it if he can't get through. 2) Change your cell phone number. I know this is so cliche but love is blind you put up with a lot of stuff because you think you love someone and you think they love you, all the while he doesn't want to be alonethat is why you are with him and he keeps checking for greener pastures while with you, the outcome of this is going to hurt you more in the long run. I put up with this for 8 years saying I know he loves me, until he moved out on our 9 year anniversary with a friend of mine who was pregnant with his kid. Trust me it hurts cut your ties now before it gets any worse. If you really want to be with him, give him the last chance ultimatium and tell him, you have done this tooooo many times I really care about you and think you can change so that is why you have one more chance to prove yourself to me, cheat again and your *** is out!!!! Unfortunatley set yourself up for defeat now chances are he will cheat again, they never change.
2007-04-10 10:48:37 · answer #9 · answered by tmjgmw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let him go. i was in this same situation. the thing is there are so many guys out there better for you. you may not see it now, but trust me, guys like strong girls. i know from experience. my boyfriend justin and i have been dating for a decent amount of time. he said he fell for me because of my personality and how secure i was with myself. he loves how strong and confident i am in myself. you need a guy who is going to let you be confident. this guy lets you doubt yourself. dont let him string you along. you're always going to think that he's cheating, because yes, once he cheats, he'll do it again. trust me, dump the chump and get a new guy that will be there for you all the time, a guy who will love you and respect you and only want to be with you.
2007-04-10 10:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's started a pattern that will not break with time, only get worse. You can either go through the pain of break up now or prolong it and go through even more pain down the road. It's your choice.
The best way to get over someone is to have no contact with them. If you would not return his calls and block his texts/call - he would eventually give up as he would not get the response or encouragement he is looking for.
Your choice. Cut your losses now and get over it or suffer longer and cut your losses later and hurt even more. He will not change.
2007-04-10 10:36:52 · answer #11 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋