Should I be abusive?

Question

Some weeks ago, my boyfriend asked me to slap him silly. I first refused, but as he insisted, he got it in the evening as a foreplay of a wonderful night.

Here is the problem: I loved it, but he told me the following day he did not want that anymore.

So here's my question: should I do it anyway and be abusive; stop doing it and be frustrated; or find a man who would ask for more and be a cheater.

Answer 1

Lots of people add domination as part of their sexual experience, and can be a real thrill. Unfortunately, it is seemingly taboo as too many people are too quick to judge, hence the responses up above. He wanted to try it, you did, it was fun, but now he doesn't want to do it anymore. I suggest you speak to him about it again. Part of the whole domination thing is sometimes "pretending" you don't want it. Come up with a safe word, like, i dunno...pillow fight. whatever... and say to him, if you are serious that you don't want to engage in this behavior, say "pillow fight." that way you will know for sure he is serious. I agree whole heartedly with your willingness for sexual exploration. There's nothing like spicing things up to keep the relationship alive. Just remember that the foundation for this is complete and utter trust in each other. Do not do anything do jeopardize that.

Answer 2

I can't answer it 'cos I don't know what kind of basis you have with your boyfriend. Probably best to talk to each other about it. Maybe redraw the line between emotional security and adventure. I'd recommend first finding a solution within your relationship. For most people, being a cheater creates more problems than it solves despite the excitement. And that's the dilemma.

Answer 3

I would say to stay with your current significant other. He just might have gotten turned on by it in the "heat of the moment" and realized later on it's actually not for him. I wouldn't push the issue or become abusive. If you do that, that will end your relationship. If you decide to cheat on him, if he finds out, he'll end the relationship for the both of you, and you don't want that. Ask him what other things he might want to try to spark things up, you never know??? Thankfully mine is into lingerie and I have some that he really likes =) There's always more than one way to do something or fix something. Good Luck!

Answer 4

If you like him and appreciate him and wanna stay with him, don't do it again, but tell him how you feel. Tell him you really got pleasure out of that and ask him why he asked you to stop. Was it too hard? Was it too soft? If you can't take not slapping him, go find another man who will, but I doubt men who want to be slapped are just walkin down the street.

Answer 5

Are you seriously asking this question?
You need to figure out why you loved being such a sadist.
I'm sorry that he asked you and unleashed Pandora's Box.
But this is a good reason for people to not dally in playful behavior that is really evil at heart.
Good luck.
I hope you find other ways to release whatever it is that makes you like this hurtful act.

Answer 6

Slapping is a gateway to more serious and potentially deadly violence. Did you like it because you got to be dominant over your boyfriend or is there another reason why you enjoyed it so much? All in all, no means no, so if your boyfriend asked you to stop, you should agree with his wishes.

Answer 7

Simple - put yourself in his position, he asked you to try something he thought he might like (and at first you were hesitant about doing it) but he didn't and has asked you not to do it again.

Reverse the roles and ask yourself - would you like it if he did something to you that he knew you didn't like after trying it once. Would you stay with him if he continued to do be abusive towards you?

Probably not so it would be morally wrong of you to do it again when he's asked you not to.

Find something else that you can do together that will be pleasurable to you both.

Answer 8

Lord, help us. No, you should not do it anyway. Yes, you should stop doing it and find another way to take out your frustration. No, you shouldn't go looking for another man.

Talk to your boyfriend and share your feelings with him. Of course, I think you should talk to a counselor. It sounds to me like both of you have some issues that need dealing with.

Answer 9

don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you have a problem, where you need to feel in control, a relationship shouldn't be like that, it's about respecting the person you're with and not doing things that cause the other offence or pain

Answer 10

I wouldn't like to be slapped silly.

I would tie yor hands & legs to the bed & give you what for.

You wouldn't want or need to go out & cheat