Married 13 years +,both of us young - 2 kids, 3 & 8. My Am./Irish inlaws live 25 min. away - husband's mom, older single sister, and a sister my age with a husband and 3 kids. Father passed 8 yrs. ago.
I'm from Europe. Mother in law has always called me picky (I'm a designer), she's NEVER said anything nice about anything I do.
For the last year, her relationship w/ us have worsened (since the birth of her daughter's twin girls). Never calls, never comes over, or has any interactions with the kids (the 3yr. old she barely knows) - although when she does see them it's; "Grammy's boys" - hypocrite! Other than her and the aunts, my boys don't have any other family on this continent, which makes me sad - I'm family oriented - grew up surrounded w/ people who loved and cared.
She babysits maybe 2/3 times a yr. Hard on our marriage - no support system! I've tried including her, now I'm just mad.They offend me in my own home - no hello, change subject... Communion is coming, what do I do?
2007-04-10 02:21:58 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like your husband should have a talk with her. Maybe by himself or maybe with the three of you. It's not a bad thing that you feel that family is important. You are allowed to feel what you feel. But I think it's best to get it out in the open. Say what you mean, but don't say it mean. As for the communion....she's family and you wouldn't want to exclude family. All you can do is extend the invitation. If she doesn't come, it's not from your lack of trying. This could be an opportunity for you guys to bring up the situation with her too.
2007-04-10 02:27:37 · answer #1 · answered by ljoc421 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In laws can either be wonderful or the dead opposite...
For example an in law I know wasn't talking to their daughter, the daughter was at an all time low so took several pills more than she should have. No as a suicide attempt but a call for help. When the son-in-law rang to tell the in laws of their daughter plight he was told "Well it isn't our fault".
My point is that some in laws just want to interefere and rule the roost while others take a back seat and offer help when asked. The fact your in-laws are taking control will put a strain on your marraige so it is implortant you and your partner talk about your feelings (and theirs).
Remember you married your partner NOT their parents...
2007-04-10 02:32:35 · answer #2 · answered by dabbit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband should have a talk with her. Maybe by himself or maybe with the three of you. It's not a bad thing that you feel that family is important. You are allowed to feel what you feel. But I think it's best to get it out in the open. Say what you mean, but don't say it mean
2007-04-10 03:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by engineer46526 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose the relationship between your in-laws and yourself are not in good terms all through 13 years?
It's hard to be in good terms with in-laws, don't be too hard on yourself.
How is your relationship with other family members (your husband side)? His sister? His godmother? Maybe you can try to work on them.
As for your two boys, this feelings is only between you and your in-laws so don't implicate them, they are just children, just don't let them spoiled them ;)
2007-04-10 02:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by Yuu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my findings in two marriages is your mother in law isnt going to be your friend ( very few are ) For some reason they cant see that the woman their son chose is good enough for their son.,
2007-04-10 02:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋