my wife says i have no reason to be jealous, instead of talking, she says i'm tired and going to bed, but yet she sits on her computer mailing men she works with until all hours of the night. we do not have a good sex life she says it hurts to have sex but wont go to the doctor.and then she tries to tell me i'm being jealous....can it be saved
2007-04-10 01:57:50 · 24 answers · asked by george d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seek professional counseling both of you together. If she won't go, you go and then follow the recommedations of your counselor. Good luck.
2007-04-10 02:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People go through different stages in their life. I take it you have been married awhile. Things cool off in marriage. It does not mean that she is cheating . Instead on focusing on the bad try harder to make it good. Maybe you are not stimulating her physically or emotionally. If you are not giving her the attention she desires that may be why she is conversing with other men... they make her feel good about herself. I am not sure what to tell you about the whole tired don't want to talk thing except try talking to her sooner in the night, over dinner or a glass of wine. I know it is hard but it sounds like you really care and it sounds like you are willing to put in the work to make it happen. I hope she realizes what she has before it is to late. GOOD LUCK
2007-04-10 09:06:09 · answer #2 · answered by puggylover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but women have a need to talk and to be heard. If she is not having this interaction with you, then she is getting it somewhere else. When a married partner is giving their emotional attention to someone else outside of the marriage it is considered cheating. She is getting this stimulation somewhere else, and it is not fair to you.
Yes, most marriages can be saved, but I suspect that counseling is what is needed. Both pardners need to be willing to save the marriage.
I would come right out and say that you miss her emotionally and that she should be spending this type of time with you, not some guy on the Internet. If she refuses, then she is pretty much telling you where her priorities are.
2007-04-10 09:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by conim2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not without your wife's involvement. She is throwing jealousy in your face rather than dealing with the real issue. And I am not talking about the sex thing. That will follow the resolution of the issue. I am suspicious she gets some sort of validation in this computer communication. Tenderly work on this need for validation with her. Allow her to express herself without challenge about what she is looking for in this. Perhaps when you understand her insecurity you can help her move past this. Keep in mind behaviors are a ramification of feelings. Find the feeling and solve the problem.
2007-04-10 09:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell us more information, like do you have kids, how long have you been married, do you treat your wife like a lady, are you affectionate with her, are the men at work paying her more attention than you are? All of these things are important for a good relationship? The question you ask is if it can be saved, but that is two sided question, do you want it to be saved and then does your wife want it to be saved?
2007-04-10 09:18:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. PDQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you have needs too that doesn't make you jelous. Also tell her "If you really loved me you would go to the doctor to find out why sex hurts". There is something wrong. Try going somewhere for a weekend to talk about things and say no computers or cell phones.
2007-04-10 09:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by teana 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It can't be "repaired" as long as she isn't making any effort to do so. I don't know George old boy, but it's rather odd that she corresponds with men that she works with all hours of the night. Cyber sex perhaps? I can't imagine having conversations debating the philosophies of John Stuart Mills and Emmanual Kant.
You're jealousy in this situation is not out of order.
2007-04-10 09:30:08 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother being jealous. Be proactive. Go to a counselor alone and decide if this is what you want in a marriage. She is obviously not interested in working on this with you. There may be a reason or she may just be bored with you. Either way, a counselor can help you sort through your feelings on this so you can either work on it with her or move on.
2007-04-10 09:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by Chloe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can be if u tell these things to 'her' instead of Yahoo answers. Please convey ur message to her as clearly as possible and as politely as possible. I mean it shouldnt hurt her. Make her understand ur feelings for her. Otherwise this marraige will be in trouble. On the long run u will be 'fed up' of tolerating all her idiocies..
If u want to save this marriage, i think this is the only way..
2007-04-10 09:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by MOKSHA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell he how you feel. Tell her that it is not okay with you that all she does is email men from work when she gets home. Ask her if she could do this at work, and ask her why she can't talk to you about what she is talking to them about.
It sounds like you need to work on your communication with each other. And she does need to go to the Dr. if sex is hurting her.
2007-04-10 09:05:13 · answer #10 · answered by Merrill L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like it is already over and that you just have not accepted it. Who knows why she is staying...security maybe?
One thing is clear...she would do everything in her power to communicate with you, end something that she knows is hurting you and see a doctor so you could have a normal, healthy sex life if she was in love with you.
I hope you get out and find someone who you love and who loves you back and will be fully faithful to you and want to make you as happy as you make them.
be cool...
2007-04-10 09:07:08 · answer #11 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋