When I talk to people, I have problems maintaining eye-contact... It's not that I'm being shifty or untruthful, it's more that... I sort of... I'm wondering if they are thinking I'm weird for holding their gaze, or if I look uncomfortable or if I'm drawing attention to myself or whatever. So my eyes dart around, and I'm sure I look shifty eyed...
My Irish form tutor said that where he was from it was impolite to hold eye contact, so he looked at people's mouths instead - with him you can't tell at all, so I tried that... possibly with the result of my female french teacher thinking I have a crush on her... Not Good...
It's really a problem, I think, of worrying how I come across to people - I don't want to have an antagonistic stare! Or for everyone to think I fancy them coz I hold eye contact for too long...
The whole thing just makes me uncomfortable, does anyone have any ideas to help?
Thanks...
2007-04-10 01:22:04 · 7 answers · asked by Lucy 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Do a count in your head, hold someones eye for a few seconds, then look else where and be sure every so often when conversation seems to dictate that you look back again for your few seconds count to reiterate that your paying attention. Your response to them also does as much as eye contact in conversation, I have found one glance and the proper response tends to serve well.
2007-04-10 01:33:12 · answer #1 · answered by me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Direct eye contact is encouraged in some cultures but unacceptable or prohibited in many societies. If you wish, try to practice in front of the mirror, looking into your own eyes, till you feel comfortable, then you can progress to the comfortable eye contact with others. At first it may help to focus on your own breathing rather than on the eyes of a person you communicate with, it helps to control the eye shifting and eye darting problem. Good luck!
2007-04-10 08:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you would dart a person's gaze, especially if you're focusing on what their response is to you. It might help if you tried focusing on what's being said and on the person you're talking to instead of on yourself. Focusing on yourself heightens self-consciousness and insecurities, especially if you feel intimidated in this situation. Maintaining eye contact actually shows a sense of confidence and also allows you to read the person you're talking with. The eye is the doorway to the soul and you really can see a lot about a person by looking at/into their eyes. Maintaining eye contact takes practice, especially when you're not used to doing it. I hope this helps you!
2007-04-10 08:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by graphitegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being in the army when we go to a promotion board we have to answer questions and keep eye contact for some people that's hard to do so what we usually do is look right over the persons head it will still look like you have eye contact with them if you are standing face to face with a person look at them on the forehead in between the eye that will still let the person know you are holding eye contact it is OK to shift your eyes every once in awhile but don't do it too much they might think that they are boring you or you are disinterested in what they have to say
2007-04-10 08:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by latoya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy. Make eye contact with somebody you do feel comfortable. Focus on one eye. Try to see what they think. You really can. You will also look very interested in what they have to say..and that's good right?
In no time this will become a tool for you and you will stop feeling uncomfortable about it.
2007-04-10 08:29:22 · answer #5 · answered by Puppy Zwolle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don,t like eye contact but i do it not many people do. your tutor is talking crap.
2007-04-10 08:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by hairy armpits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋