i am cheating, and i feel that i love this guy more than i do love my husband.?

Question

but i have a feeling that partly he's using me, financially.

Answer 1

When in doubt, follow your instincts. You are probably "right on the mark". If he is taking money from you, then he doesn't respect you!! Do you really think that he would ever trust you, if you got into a relationship with him, anyway? He knows that you are a cheater!! He is not going to ever trust you!! Don't fool yourself into believing that this man loves you. You are a pawn in his little game. Get out before your husband finds out.

Answer 2

Listen to your gut instincts. If you are giving or loaning this other guy money, he probably is using you. Men like to have flings with married women because they know there's no commitment involved. If you don;t love your husband, let him go and start a new life on his own instead of cheating on him. The relationship with the other guy is only going to lead to heartache and you being alone. Don't mean to be harsh, just honest. Good luck with whatever you decide. I've just never seen anything like this turn out good before. If you do still have feelings for your husband, end the affair and get some marriage counseling.

Answer 3

Lets get something stright. All relationships when they are new is GREAT!!! Nothing good can come out of your actions and if you keep on this road, it can only lead to more pain and suffering. Even more so than how you do now. I say that because there must have been something lacking in your marriage to drive you to this man and away from your husband. I hope there aren't any kids already cause if there are YOU NEED TO THINKOF THEM and how this will affect their lives. If it's just you and him, well. Try to get what you deserve from your husband talk to him and tell him how you really feel. If you truly matter to him, he will listen. If he does not, then I think you might need to reasses your marriage. Get some counseling perhaps!? Good luck and if you want someone to talk to about this some more, send me a note! I hope this helps!

Answer 4

Be completely sure about your feelings with your lover before making any move or you'll regret it. It could be that he's more attractive, younger, seems that he always sticks with you, but that's maybe because you've got money and he doesn't! Take it this way, if you weren't rich at all, do you think this guy would still fall for you? Now, for your husband, he deserves to know that you are unhappy with him. Tell him you need space between the two of you. When you realize you still love him, break off with the user. I still think every marriage deserves second chances.

Answer 5

I wouldn't go away and leave my husband for a guy that is possibly using me and does not have mutual feelings back. You never know, maybe because you are more used to your husband, this new guy feels like magic BECAUSE he is new, when really feelings for him will fade out over time. The fact that you cant trust this man with your finances, but can trust to make a vow to your husband to spend your life with him, means that your heart walks blindfolded with your husband. As I say, you have to be sure that with this new guy your not just after the lust filled relationship that you no longer feel with your husband. I dunno why you cheated in the first place, but if it is just because you don't feel the sparks with your husband, I would work on that before making up your mind to leave him. If you know in your heart you can no longer love your husband, then don't give him, and yourself, false hope that it will work. You have to be 200% sure that's what you want though first. Good Luck x

Answer 6

I think that in your situation you are probably not getting what you need in your marriage, be it sexually, mentally, emotionally or financially, and instead of trying to work it out with your husband, you just went out and found someone new. Its that new man that and the whole new relationship that has gotten you to think your in love and in actuality you are not. After all the new wears off with the new man, you will probably then be able to open our eyes about your lover. And if you are already suspicious of him using you, it's true. You just need to have a good honest talk with your husband and if he still wants to be with you, then you are lucky!!

Answer 7

And you are allowing yourself to be used because . . . Cheating on a spouse is never good. This makes you a cheater. No rationalization here. Now if you do not want to be with your husband then quit wasting his time. Sounds to me you need to take some time to get yourself together before you plan a future with another.

Answer 8

The best thing in my opinion...

1) Is to divorce your husband because he deserves better!

2) Leave the guy your committing adultery with because it will never work out in the long run.

3) Spend a year or so single and not slutting around.

Answer 9

I think you need to grow up and either drop the fling or divorce your husband. But then you will most likely find out if the fling is only in if for your money when your husband cuts you off for cheating and you have no money and your fling leaves you.

Answer 10

You answered your question. Leave this person and at this point you will have to face your husband and work things out if this will be possible.
The marriage is at a point that either you fix it or you need to separate because it does not make ay sense to be with someone that you are not happy with!!!!
Be honest and talk to your husband, may-be he feels the same as you.
Good Luck. I think that nobody should jusdge you but you need to use your brain and have respect for yourself and for your husband.