Caught between arrogant husband and unrelenting church matters what do I do?

Question

I don't have a job, I am eight months pregnant, I can't get a job. I let my husband pay ties we have not been blessed by it. The other people in church that have moeny that could help us out with our job situation won't yet I do not blame them because my husband is a chronic complainer and I think his complaining has brought a curse upon our family. He thinks everyone else is the problem and even if he might be educated no one would hire him because he is unproffessional in his attitude. The church is my only outlet away from him, but it reflects badly on me and my family when my husband act like a jerk in front of other church members. Yet he says he prays and he does everything he can, but if he really acted like he really should toward his family and others people in church we could have gotten some help. I think the reason we have not been blessed is his attitude. But what can I do about it when he affects the whole family and he is suposed to be the spiritual head?

Answer 1

I have a long, long list of flat-out, non-coincidental miracles that have happened in my life, even though I do not deserve it. ANYTHING is possible with God. Pray, more, and pray with people at Church........reveal to a prayer helper exactly what the problem is, then pray together about it. Bring it up in a small women's bible study group. Don't give up. You are frustrated because what YOU expect God and the Church to do for you isn't happening, or it isn't happening at your pace. Sometimes God doesn't answer prayers the way you might expect Him to. Sometimes the timimg of God's Will is not in synch with your timing. Don't weaken, get stronger. Support your husband, but rely on God for direction. Pray for God's Will, whatever that is.

Tithing goes the same way. My pastor said that you won't go to hell for not tithing, but that there are extra Blessings available (in His timing) to those that obey. Also, the tithing supports the staff and the Church....there are many expenses there. And, often it also helps others who are in great need.

It's all about Faith, and although we have a very loving God, He does include tests and lessons, and sometimes these are very tough. Perhaps there is a rainbow at the other end of these bad times you're having, but you have to get rid of the thunder cloud that is interfering. I'm thinking it's Satan who is working on you to make you worry, worry, worry so that your Faith will falter. Declare to Satan that you are the property of your God! If you mean it, Satan will go away, because he is really a coward and is not nearly as strong as God, just trickier.

Are you capable at this point of fully trusting God? If so, turn ALL those worries and problems over to Him! He'll carry that load you have on your back!

Answer 2

Please, whatever you do,make sure that you, do what you can, to make sure that you are aware of all of the resources available in your community.If you have an option, change the church you go to.There is no reason you should be in a place of worship,that would turn a blind eye to your situation.I have knowledge of the way some men in the church "being the head of the house" deal with the families.Don't be guilted into prolonging the inevitable,you don't want your kids to repeat the cycle and not live happy lives.Don't let anyone manipulate,what you know to be true,to their advantage.Ipray for your strength and guidance at this time. Take Care.

Answer 3

She's suitable....7 days a week 12hrs an afternoon poses a challenge in a relatives and employers should not be doing that to human beings yet first your husband don't have been excepting that. that would make even a single person cranky to be around and so i'm valuable mom is seeing and getting projected on lots greater effective than we are in this short positioned up each of ways around and now concerning to place reversal which additionally incorporates the youngsters. Your mom will continuously be your mom....while you're questioning she knows each thing you're incorrect yet once you're questioning she knows no longer something good success with that. ~~~~stay Blessed...discover stability.

Answer 4

where did you get the idea that Christianity is a cow and that you should milk it? i don't agree with the philosophy that if you play your cards right, you will be "blessed" or cursed financially. like the church or God has some kind of game going - withholding or giving jobs or money according to your prayers or actions. (?) maybe you should change churches..or your way of thinking.
i believe "church" should not be an outlet away from a spouse but rather a place where one goes to worship God and serve others.

Answer 5

Your question explains your problem quite well. Make sure he reads it. Have someone email it to him but best to print it out and hand it to him. Being the spiritual head of the family is not a license to be stupid and irresponsible. Quite the contrary, his job as provider and head of household requires being responsible, educated, loyal and professional in his business dealings. I am sure there is no curse on your family. Your husband just needs to grow up in a hurry or find himself the head of nothing.

Answer 6

You must speak to him and tell him how you feel, tell him that his complaining does not help, rather it makes things worse, and with this you must find out just what causes him to complain so much.

If all else fails, I suggest seeing a counsellor or having a trusted friend from church sit with you and your husband (this worked wonders with my family when we had a spot of trouble, just a spot of it!) and discuss the issues aat hand.

But first you must ask yourself:
Do you really love what he's become?

You can fix this issue if you try.

Answer 7

You can not do one thing to change your husband, just as he can't do one thing to change you. May I suggest you use your charm on the ladies of the church so they cut loose with some charity. Where in the world is your family woman? You picked this looser to mate with, why did you think it would be different?

Answer 8

You continue to be a blessing to him in spite of his poor atttiude. Read Proverbs 31. Continue to lift your husband up in prayer. I doubt that your situation is a curse hon. It's more like a deeping and stretching of your faith. God is more concerned about changing you than your circumstances. I would not worry about "appearances" with your husbands behavior when it comes to church members. Do not concern yourself with your husband making you look bad. That is a haughty spirit. Also, be less concerned with your husbands behavior and more concerned with yours. Where is your heart for him during this tough time. Get in prayer with and over your husband. Like I said, God may be trying to change you before he reaches your husband. And keep in mind, unless your husband is asking you to do something out of line with God's word, he is to remain the spirtual leader and you are to continue to do your part, as God asks this of you, not your husband. Be loyal and patient and do not let the devil still your joy. God is the provider, remain obedient to him to in your role as a wife, and let God deal with his role as a husband. God bless you. God will provide. Read Proverbs 31.

Answer 9

Whoa, girl, you need to come into the real world! Here's what you need to do:
Have your baby.
Sign up with an employment office / career counselling place and see what sort of jobs you are qualified for.
If you need to get further training, go back to school and get it.
Find a job. (Hint: The advertisement section in the newspaper is a much better place to start job-hunting than church.)
Tell your husband that either he gets professional help with his inability to take responsibility for his life, or you'll be seeing a divorce lawyer.

Answer 10

I think you should distance yourself from the church and his complaining and get some counseling, a new perspective on all you are going through.