I am a stay at home mom who has not worked outside the home since our three children were born. My marriage is on the rocks and my husband has become increasingly verbally abusive and is threatening me w/ finances as a way to control me. I feel divorce at this time is my only option. We are currently seperated and have sought no legal counsel up to this point. However, with everyday that goes by he is more controlling over finances and I don't feel safe in the house we own together. He acts like he can barge in at any given time noon or night as he sees fit raising all kinds of hell! How do I go about moving my children and myself out of the house and to a place I could afford after the divorce since I have no means of income not controlled by him? He has a very sucesssful company but I am not involved with it in the least.
2007-04-08 17:46:52 · 3 answers · asked by wwjdintd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are steps that are needed:
1. Make up your mind you are done with him.
2. Buy some type records an place them through out the house. The tapes will speak for themselves in court.
3. Get a safety deposit box at a local bank.
4. Photocopy ALL bank statements, ALL important letters, ALL important document, record ALL calls. Keep a daily journal.
5. Please all information in YOUR safety deposit box which is at the local bank.
6. Get a POST Office box.
7. After have a few recording, with ALL the abuse.
8. Get as much money as possible the bank account- and keep a log of how it was spent.
9. Get an "Emergency restraining order"
10. Go file child support in first day---call your county-No lawyer is needed--------the county is there for Children
11. Change the locks on the door, and change the Alarm code
12. Call a family member or a friend to come stay with you for a week of so. If not go stay with family for a week or so.
13. Get a "FEMALE attorney.
14. You DO NOT have the right to give your husband YOUR children home. The house is for the children. So selling the home is NOT possible.
Tell, your attoney:
You want him to pay for the chidren education-college for them, he needs to finish pay for the house, cars, and pay for you to go to college. You need to know go back to school to get ready to get into the work force to support your children
2007-04-08 18:26:19 · answer #1 · answered by Errolyn27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all do NOT move. Secondly seek legal counsel. YOU are entitled to stay in the family home with your children and you are also entitled to have the locks changed on that home if you choose to do so. But you need a LEGAL seperation to begin with. In the seperation papers it will state that "neither party may harrass or humiliate the other" which means he does NOT have the right to enter the home without your permission for purposes to bother you. YOU DO Have means of income because any money brought into the marriage is considerd a marital asset and will be divided 50/50. Even if YOU do not work. Anything in ANY bank account he owns is a marital asset. When you get your lawyer he will instruct you on what you need to do and you can at that time ask the lawyer to do a "discovery" on all of your husband's assets. Hopefully you're smart enough to have your husband's social security number because that is the way they will do the financial search and any financial holdings under that number will be brought up and you will get 50 % of. So, sit tight, see a lawyer and good luck.
2007-04-08 21:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey, you sound a lot like me (some years ago)
i am hoping you can find a counseling center (i'm serious) i don't know what it would be called where you live - here it was community services, which can set you up w/free legal advice - even appear in court with you. lawyers cost c.$200/hr and require a retainer before they even take your case!
they will advise you also about staying in the house with the children - he will need to be the one to move out.
you do need an advocate because he will not take this lying down.
the divisions of assets will be determined by how long you were married, etc. and you should get a fair decision -always in favor of the children.
i been there..you will be o.k. work quietly behind the scenes to protect yourself and your kids.
2007-04-08 18:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by mariah c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. Check into spousal support too. I think that he has to pay since you have not been in the working world yet. You will also be eligible for a lot of different child support thru the government. I mean the likes of insurance, medical, food stamps etc for the children. That helps cut your expenses. You could file bankruptcy probably. Does your mediator give you any advice at all? Although you are totally disgusted with your spouce, I do know that these guys are over their heads with expenses with the children and medical that they have to cover for the children and their own expenses trying to survive. Help him out by getting on medical thru the government. Don't try to drain him dry. Divorce is just nasty for all sides involved, especially the children.
2016-03-17 22:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move out of the house. Simply have the locks changed. And get advice from a lawyer pronto. The reason why your husband is acting this way is he knows you're entitled to a big chunk of money once the divorce comes through. Don't let him intimidate you to the point where you'll be out in the cold without a cent. It's going to be tough, I know, but you have to be strong for your kids and fight for their rights along with your own.
2007-04-08 17:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See an attorney. Ask your friends about one, look through the internet, find yourself a divorce attorney. The fact that you don't have money and he does shouldn't be a handicap. Husbands usually wind up paying all costs of the divorce anyway. So find an attorney, tell him/her your story and follow the advice. Get recommendations of at least two or three attorneys and talk to all of them. Go for the one you feel most comfortable with. Good luck.
2007-04-08 17:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With your two kids you are able to get state help. They will give you an apt and job training. As far as the house goes, you may want to consider staying with somewhere else, like family. Threatening you with fiances is the only way to hurt you, he has nothing else. Let him know that you don't need him or anything. Your a strong woman who will bounce back. You could also try a restraining order too, that is always an option.
2007-04-08 21:13:18 · answer #7 · answered by 3whiskerbiscuits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, here's what to do if yo are in Australia.
Go to Centrelink and apply for the pension, it might take a while for it to go through so you might have to stay with friends or family while it happens. You will need friends and family to verify that the two of you have seperated to Centrelink. Then go to Legal Aid and tell them your story and that you need representation for custody of the kids and to settle assets. If you need to vent about stuff call parentline, I can't think of the name atm, it might help if you googled it, they are fantastic and give heaps of free advice.
I hope this has helped.
BB
Tam
2007-04-08 17:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by tam b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up in your mind that you truly want out of the marriage and go to your court house and get the divorce papers fill them out get them certified for irreconcilable differences and have them served to him, then get your restraining order to have him stay away from you. It's the cheapest way out.
2007-04-08 17:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by reddie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋