is it all my fault that i picked the wrong person to marry? i really loved him and he no longer loves me. we have a newborn together. he cheated and abandoned me at 7 months pregnant for a 17yr old high school girl. now hes is back to get visitation to his child.
im losing everything. i lost him, im losing time with my child, i lost tons of money and some friends due to our divorce.
i don't understand karma, i havent done anything wrong to deserve this did i just marry the devil?
2007-04-08 17:09:06 · 29 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel so hopeless like i should just give up cause so far fighting has done me no good.
2007-04-08 17:10:01 · update #1
self pity is the worst enemy. stop feeling sorry for yourself. be strong for you and your kid. start being smart. blaming anyone at this point will help no one. be smart and fight back! dont sit and act like a victim otherwise that's all the part you'll ever play in life. get the help that you need...friends, family, even legal help! pick yourself up. eventually you'll find that there is life past this divorce and that there will be a better man for you out there. live life... you only get one chance.. take it!
2007-04-08 17:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by emanon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter whose at fault here. What matters is that you pick up the pieces of your life and move on. I am going to assume that you are fairly young and if so finding someone shouldn't be to hard. The best thing that you can do is take a look at yourself in the mirror and access who you are and if you are the kind of woman somebody would want to be with. If you find that maybe there are things about you that could or should change then you know what to do. Whatever you do don't dwell on the negative things that have happened to you recently, but try to focus on being positive for yourself and your child. The sooner you decide to get on with your life the better off you will be. If you have learned anything from your experience it ought to be about being more careful who you chose as a boyfriend, spouse, or signifigant other. Good Luck
2007-04-09 00:23:07 · answer #2 · answered by truckerman96 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a divorced woman, I hear you. First, it's not karma, and it's not your fault. You were ready, he was obviously not; how were you to predict this? Next, you have a newborn! Congratulations! Something good came out of this union; awesome! Also, no point in fighting with this fellow; he is obviously not too bright/mature. Get support from true friends and family; exercise, take care of yourself for you and your baby, and be the strongest woman you can be. You will find love of the real variety once you let the hate go. The friends you lost weren't friends at all, and money is replaceable; besides, you got rid of a huge liability when he left. Your baby is precious, and not a loss of time. I never had one, and I think you are a very lucky lady...Best to you!
2007-04-09 00:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by Artemisia G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fighting has done you good! you are still here for your child. If you end up having to give him some visitation... you just do. I'm sorry to say that ... as long as he pays child support and doesn't endanger the baby you can't do much. If you lost friends over you're divorce then they weren't your friends. I know it's hard to make new ones when you have a kid to watch over. Know that you aren't alone. Maybe you could find a church to go to. They would have day care for most of their social events so you could meet some new people for support. It's not your fault by the way. Your ex husband is obviously the screw up, not you. Lift your head up girl! Don't let him change how you view yourself. You are a strong and beautiful woman. You were before him, during him and after him. Show your baby what it is to be strong. You will make it!
2007-04-09 00:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by J C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey... I know its hard, but don't give up. And you need to understand something - what goes around does come around. But in this evil world, much comes around unwarranted, as well. You didn't marry a devil - but a human being who gave way to the devil's wiles. Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference. We all make mistakes and bad judgment calls. Sometimes, we just get caught up with the wrong people. Marraige is a two-way street. Let your ex carry the weight of his own sin. It sounds to me like you did the best you knew how, at the time. Thats the learning experience, called Life. Learn from them and keep travelling on your journey. Do not beat yourself up over them; you cannot change the past. Stop abusing yourself and tearing yourself down. Your tongue is powerful. Speak good things, positive things. Whatever you speak will reinforce itself; you will come to believe your own words, after awhile. You are a precious, priceless woman. You deserve to be loved unconditionally. Lean on God for your strength. Turn to Him, that you may learn what real love is. Love is not a mere attribute He possesses - He IS it. Read 1 Corinthians 13. Read in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) of just HOW MUCH He loves you. Learn to love yourself, that is, appreciate and acknowledge your value. Christ thought you were worth enough for Him to risk His throne, reputation, and life - for YOU, that you may know what it means to have true life, true love. The reason I stress this, is because once you grasp your worth and value - even to such a majestic being as God - it will be easy for you to understand that you deserve to be treated better than this, by a mere human being. Take heart, baby. Be strong. You will be alright.
2007-04-09 00:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it's not your fault it's his for being a complete jerk!! it's funny that your story is almost like mine. my husband became verbally abusive wouldn't help with the bills after 2 and a half years of trying to make things worked i realized it wouldn't come to find out he had cheated on me. then started dating a 16 year old high school girl. now i'm happy and he's stuck living with her and her parents and they just had a baby. (the girl is about to turn 20 now) so trust me in the long run you'll see that it's better for you. he will get what's coming to him. and you go through things for a reason. it may not be clear why you went through it right now but it will come to light later. you lost a jerk and i'm sure you will gain a lot more than you lost. if you have a lot of problems dealing with everything you may want to consider getting a counselor until you work through things. best of luck. and take it from me things will get better. it's been four years and i couldn't be happier now that he is no longer in my life.
2007-04-09 00:18:16 · answer #6 · answered by butter_cream1981 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not here to hurt you. But it is not your fault he is a dog and cheated on you. take my advice... and learnwhat i did to late... they never change and all they do is break your heart. You WILL find an AMAZING man later who will rock your world and you'll look back and say ex who!???? Stand your ground and keep your child. Get some good honest people on your side who know how he is treating you. Never give up my friend. Great things happen when you try real hard to improve yourself. You can do anything and you are a great lady. Hold your head up and run for your dreams.
2007-04-09 00:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by Angela C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u didnt lose everything, u just lose him and is better off for you. dont give up !! your baby need you. You deserve someone better !! Money can be earn back again. Friends that leave u when you needed the most is not consider as friends. Keep going you can make it. Have faith in yourself. Everyone make mistake but every mistake we make will make us stronger and wiser. ALL THE BEST !! I am sure there is someone out there that are waiting for your love and care.
2007-04-09 00:48:30 · answer #8 · answered by blurblur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault that your husband made the decision to cheat on you. However, your child should have visitation with his/her father, rather than resent you for it later on down the road. Karma has nothing to do with this, there is always a reason for everything. Good Luck!
2007-04-09 00:22:53 · answer #9 · answered by daisydownsouth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up. Giving up is the easy way out.
You need to live for your baby. And for yourself.
I have been where you are. It feels like everything is going wrong all at once and you can't even catch your breath.
I learned so much about myself and gained my
self esteem back from all the terrible things I've gone through.
You learn from it, and see what you can handle. Hang in there.
Try to be positive. I wish you luck, and take care.
2007-04-09 00:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋