I am a stay at home mom so my husband is the only one that works. He has to ok everything I buy, but yet he spends money on whatever he wants and says it's ok because he makes all the money.I don't think it's fair but he doesn't care. Anyone have any advice?
2007-04-08 16:42:29 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You may not be earning a salary, but you are working just as hard as he is. He needs to know his income is both his and yours, and not only should you not have to ask his permission on every little thing, but on big purchases..he should be asking for your permission.
2007-04-08 16:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do not say how long you have been Married to your Husband but, I am willing to bet that some years. If I were you I would have a long talk with my Husband and in no uncertain terms give him an ultimatum, that you want him to be stop being a cheapskate, when it concerns you. you might be a stay at home Mom, but has he considered that you take care of the Kid/Kids, and the housework, washing, and ironing,the cooking, and give him the love that he wants. Who pays you, for all of this services you provide? Come to think of it we, women do more than the men, does, and they do not appreciate all the sacrifices we do. Maybe you do not work, because you have to take care of the kids, so, that is a lot when worry and running around with the kids, will make any Mother try to pull her hair out when they are sick or very stubborn. I am a lady that has been Married for almost 49 yrs. and I never worked outside the Home, and my Husband was the same way with me, but, I preservered, and when we were Married for 30 yrs. I rebelled and told him that from now on I was going to make my own decisions when I wanted to spend some of as he said money he had because he was the only one that worked. So, listen to what I am saying and don't be like me, or you will be miserable, and will never be happy.
2007-04-16 16:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Get a job. I'm not being mean, but my husband did me this way, because I'm an independent woman and free to speak whatever I choose, he thought he had me by the throat when I stayed home and took care of the home and the kids and his needs. Well when he thought it was ok to party and I wasn't to say anything, give his big, grown kid money that wouldn't hold a job without getting arrested or get mad with me and hold money from me until he wanted to give it to me, I said enough is enough. I got a job, a car, all the furniture I want the kids have what they want and need and the bills are paid. I now tell him what I will put up with and what I'm not gonna put up with. He respect me better and know that I don't take no crap off a control freak. It's 50/50 or he could find some place else that he could bring down. I believe in staying at home and raising a family, but when you have a control freak, the house is divided and it will fall.
2007-04-13 15:58:12 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice, change your way of thinking. It's not his money it is
both your money. He needs to start using words like "ours" You say you don't work you are a stay at home mom. That mom job is 24/7 no holiday pay or any pay and no time off. Get real here. I would not let him OK anything you are not his child Get your self together and have a little talk or have him hire a cook, maid, childcare and you go to work so you have money to spend with out approval. Let him see what that will coast him. You have been to nice and having falling for his line on bull put a stop to this now as your life will be hell if you continue down this road and not only will you be broke but your self esteem will be broken.
2007-04-13 02:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Money is power. The one who has or controls the money has the power.
Traditionally, that meant men. Women were supposed to stay at home and take whatever their husbands gave them.
Now that women are more educated and have gained equality in this field, things have changed....
I agree that taking care of a house and kids is a hard job, and many people think it's easy. NOT!
Perhaps talking to a counselor or therapist might help you two vent things so you can feel better. If he refuses to do anything at all, then consider earning your own money so you can spend it as you wish.
Good luck.
2007-04-15 13:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time for a big screen TV, a car, a new washing machine, etc. When you go overboard once or twice it will raise a flag. If this did or did not happen. Then it is a marriage, a partnership that you belong in and it is supposed to be a 50/50 relationship. Sure, he may make the money, but does he do the dishes, laundry,cook,clean,etc? If you have to, let him know that this is your salary!! You definitely should be able to enjoy your life.
go get those shoes!!!
2007-04-15 15:11:28 · answer #6 · answered by yourguessisasgoodasyours 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...a stay at home mom puts in a hell of a lot more hours than someone working 40/week. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Try putting a twist on things and tell him if that's the case HE can stay at home with the children, and you will go out into the workplace and earn the income. I bet his views on everything would change quickly and he'd appreciate you a lot more!
2007-04-08 16:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by Y!A P0int5 Wh0r3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt matter who makes the money it belongs to both of you legally and as far as you not working you do just as much if not more by taking care of the house, kids and husband there is more to it than what men think and a moms job is 24/7 even if everyone is asleep next time tell him you are going back to a 9 to 5 and he needs to pay a sitter once he finds out how much those are he might shut up and if not stop taking care of his meals and laundry etc i know it is hard but it sounds like he is a lot like my soon to be ex and you two are supose to be partners he is not your daddy
2007-04-16 15:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by Joe H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wedding vows- "and two shall become one" does he understand the weight of what he promised that day, all spending decisions should be made as one "team" just like disciplining the kids, or what kind of car the family needs, right down to waht kitchen table to own, okay pretty much all decisions about your life TOGETHER! Just fing a way to lovingly address the issue and not step on his toes, maybe ask for a certain allowance for the things you would like or ask him if you can split the cost of daycare so you can have a part time job.
IS this too blunt!?
2007-04-16 12:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by onlyheretoserve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a JERK, he thinks u do not work well being a stay at home mom is really hard work, tell him u will go work out of the home and make money so u have some 2 spend since being a stay at home mom does not pay, then tell him to stay home for a week with the kids while u work , trust me he will change his mind...
2007-04-15 14:18:26 · answer #10 · answered by Gisele M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, your husband might be the solebreadwinner in a sense he isproviding the essential needs of a family.You re contributing in a fair portion by taking care of household needs, family and other indoor activites.There is not a comparison table to show who does better.It needs both equal understanding and commitment to run a family.Losing either will make a family functionless!Try talking to him or making him understand that both your roles also need financial planning as you have kids.Irregular expenditure can lead to many unresolved problems.
2007-04-08 16:57:58 · answer #11 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋