She left me 5 months ago to be with a coworker because she started to feel "unhappy" 15 year marriage and two great boys. My oldest son had a basketball game and I went to it. She couldn't go because she had to work. He was there cheering on my son and I sat 8' from him and was very uncomfortable to say the least. When I talked to her the other night about the boys she asked me if I knew that was him sitting next to me. I said "Ofcourse I did he was the most ulgliest son of a ***** in the gym!" was that mean of me????
2007-04-08 16:00:17 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it's funny of you. She provided the setup, and you hit a hole in one. With your sarcastic sense of humor, you'll weather her ploys to make you jealous, and then move on. The joke will be on her.
2007-04-08 16:05:45 · answer #1 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, It is understandable. It is a terrible thing that she did and if he knew she's married he is just as wrong and in my opinion he is an ugly person on the inside. If you are unhappy, you should have the guts to tell the person not find someone else and then decide to blind side the person and leave. There is never an excuse for cheating other than being a coward and not being able to confront your partner about your true feelings. I am sorry that you are in this situation. I hope for the sake of the boys you can have a civilized relationship. I wish my parents did. I am married with 3 children and I still have to have seperate get togethers and invite my parents seperately. Good luck in working out a parenting plan with her. It will be tough. There is a lot of healing and unanswered questions to be dealt with. I will keep you all in my prayers.
2007-04-08 16:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by Theresa W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, pat yourself on the back for not getting into a shouting match or worse with this guy at the basketball game. You hung onto your dignity & your son was not made uncomfortable by his Dad & his Mom's boyfriend fighting. Good Job.
Then ask yourself, when you start to date again what do you want your ex-wife to say about your new girl friend? You probably don't want her talking badly about your date or girl friend.
Find a good friend or divorce care group to vent and let your feelings out in. Many different groups or churches run these support groups & you would have other guys' support & experiences to draw on the next time you are put on the spot.
If you feel your wife is putting you in an uncomfortable spot asking questions you are not ready to talk about tell her, "Now is not the time to talk about that. Hey, I gotta run, I have got to go finish something & catch up on other phone calls. Bye!" This lets you off of the hook and you won't say something you regret late.
Best of Luck!
2007-04-08 16:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by YesIDid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Huh? Was it mean of YOU??? Was it mean of her to leave after 15 yrs of marriage & not give it a 2nd thought about you or your children? Your comment probably just let her know that you still have feelings for her...Ding* another point for her. Let her find out that she will become unhappy with her NEW fling, because right now it is just NEW and exciting and getting to you. You probably won't believe this, but if all of sudden she thought you had a girlfriend and moved on and seemed happy...she might not feel soooo important anymore. Think about it...isn't she feeling pretty powerful right now? You are security....he is New. What happens if the security doesn't feel so secure anymore?
2007-04-08 16:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. You sound hurt, and you probably aren't ready to confront that issue. She is kind of pushing it on you. Maybe the next time you should just tell her that you really do not want to discuss this or anything like that. She will get the point. Especially in front of your boys. I am sorry to hear that she cheated, that is truely the worst feeling in the world. I know it is too early to feel good about anything, but I truely believe anyone who loves a women for more than 15 years and is dedicated to them, will find the right one.
2007-04-08 16:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by AJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and childish. Don't forget that he was there for your son..the "great son" that you said your wife and you created together. Don't let her bad judgement come between your relationship with your son. Be the better man and apologize to your wife. Continue to be there for your son. There's nothing worse than making a child feel like he has to choose which parent to get along with or whether or not to like their parents new partner.
2007-04-08 16:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the conversations strictly about the boys for now on.
In the end, the boys will suffer if you two discuss "martial" issues.
You two are not together anymore. Move on and focus on raising the boys.
If she offers her "life" to you, simply tell her you are only there to talk about the kids and if she doesn't, then you hang up on her. That will piss her off, but shows you have more things in life than to listen to her "love life".
Trust me, I am a step sibling of a step father who did this with his ex wife.....in the end, it affected us kids more than anything.
2007-04-08 16:07:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so you feel better now.....but let's stop the Baby crap. You have 2 boys....think only of them. They are the most important people in both of your lives. Believe it or not time will heal your heart...I know this sounds unbelievable right now, but it will.
You are a Dad for the rest of your life, and for the rest of your life you will run into your ex or her partners, and in time she will meet another Love of yours.
So, get along. Live is to short.
Best of luck.
2007-04-08 16:19:49 · answer #8 · answered by Sabine5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it might have been a good idea then, I probably would have said the same thing. But in the effect of being adults I would say to apologize at least to her.
2007-04-08 16:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have told her off...she should have been there for her son, not sending her new man to go watch her son's basketball game!
If she knew she wasn't going to show up she shouldn't have sent him in her place, he should only be going to family events when he is with her.
2007-04-08 22:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋