why do people suppress their feelings?

Question

everyday people commit themselves to one person but really have feelings for another but it is taboo to go forth with those feelings but people do it anyway, basically my question is, why don't people follow their true feelings even if it means hurting other people?

Answer 1

Some people suppress their feelings because it's just too hard to face those feelings and have to deal with them. Others stay in relationships because they are afraid of change. Then there are those, like married people who know it's wrong to have feelings for someone other then their spouse so they are trying to do the right thing. There are so many reasons people suppress their feelings, sometimes it's fear that if they actually express or try to deal with them, they won't be able to handle it.

Answer 2

The emotions you are writing about are not a problem when it comes to suppression. I think mainly the ones to worry about are anger and grief. Maybe, though, you mean: Should you tell the person how you feel or hint at it? If so, caution is a good idea, since you would open yourself to hurt by doing so. Also, your trying "to find wrongs with them " is due to your intuition warning you that something is wrong, something about that someone doesn't seem right. Always listen to your intuition. Maybe give it a little more time. Sometimes that helps a lot, things surface to be seen and recognized, and your decision becomes easier.

Answer 3

I think alot depends on the environment, who is getting hurt, ect. that's why we are civilized people, or most of us, or at least try to be, but, that's a good question, because I had suppressed alot of feelings, that now I'm having to deal with and should have dealt with a long time ago, but, didnt and now I'm paying for it, and need to get my life straight again, people should go with their feelings as long as it's not something that is going to hurt someone, I think it's better not to hurt anyone, there is always a way to move forward with your feelings, without hurting others. But, it's just part of life, and life sucks sometimes, but, it's also great most of the time. We learn from things that happen to us, and you are right people get with other's when they really love someone else, I think it has to do alot with who the person is, and what their goals are ect...everyone is different,

Answer 4

Because of their fear. They are afraid of the consequences and impact their true feelings will have on others, on their surroundings and on themselves. You can't just follow your own instincts and your own desires without considering the ones around you and your circumstances.

Some of them who have been implied in a relationship for too long and who are already used with the routine and the environment don't show their real feelings because they're afraid of the sudden change those feelings might create. They're already comfortable with the situation they are in. Imagine yourself wearing your old pajamas or sitting in your old chair near the fireplace. You might want to buy a new chair or a new pair of pajamas and even if you know that the new objects might be better in quality and might help you feel better, you keep the old ones because you are used to them and they give you a common feeling... It's a feeling you are already accustomed to. Trying to get used to different objects all of a sudden is like wearing gloves for 10 years then suddenly taking them off and expecting to feel no differences at all.

Answer 5

*sighs*
this reminds me of my problem...........i know its taboo, but i can't help it, can i?
people suppress their feelings because:
1. They don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings (like me)
2. They are afraid of the change
3. They might know its taboo, so they suppress their feelings and hope for it to go away.

i have a bf, like anyone would want, he's really nice and funny..
but then , i went on a vacation for a while, and i met a guy i used to have a crush on.
my feelings were awakened, even though they were buried for 4 years, and i just melted.....but i can't dump my bf, can i?
so its really hard.

Answer 6

Because, expressing your true feelings lead to dealing with a loss that you might not want to lose.

ex. )I just told my bf of 3 yrs I needed time apart to focus on school because, I am simply tired of hearing his non-emotional , negativity. He was suppose to be the one to encourage the good things I decide for myself.

We had made a promise to each other that we could always speak our thoughts and feeling without ever loosing the bond and friendship we developed over three years, but in the long term I know I will lose him.

So, my answer is mostly fear of losing the most important people in life because not everyone sees life the same.

Answer 7

Probably out of loyalty a sense of hurting someone who has been their partner for a long time. There many shared memories and possibly children to consider

Answer 8

I believe that people are really afraid of letting go of their feelings...1-a lot of times they don't know who talk to,
2-the people they can talk to, they don't believe they will relate, and soon enough those emotions are going to let out eventually and could often lead to depression or suicidal thoughts...

Answer 9

you answered your question. it hurts other people.

Answer 10

What we believe is what we attract to us.