I have joint custody of our 3 children. This is my weekend with the kids. My ex wanted them last night...?

Question

She told me it was tradition to be with the kids the night before Easter. This kids did not express interest in going last night. We are different religions but I gave them Easter morning presents when they woke up becuase it was the right thing to do. They were so happy and then went to their mom's in a good mood. One of the reasons I got divorced was that she was very controlling. I see the kids every other weekend so why would I not want them on a Saturday night that is not a holiday. These are typical incidences since our divorce one year ago. My ex tries to cause a problem by making a big deal about last night even though the kids were happy. How can I have her understand that she is not being helpful without causing her to escalate her controlling behavior?

Answer 1

First, I really feel for you...I was married to a man who allowed his ex to get their kids during his time. Before he met me he spent Christmas eating Chinese with a stripper because she told him they wanted to be with her parents.
We are divorced now and from what I gather he changed their decree and she has him where she wants him. I don't know if you live in Indiana but if you do there are very strict laws that guarentee you rights on alternate years for special holidays. She should learn to take turns and so should your kids. One parent is not more important than another and your children should be made to understand...Indiana does understand. I am very familiar with the laws and your legal parenting time rights.
Meanwhile take care and stand up for yourself and your kids.

Answer 2

Sounds like she is using every opportunity to take advantage of your and your husband. The court ordered parenting plan should be enforced unless there was an emergency, that way everyone knows what's in the plans and follows them...Your problems are the reasons parenting plans are set through the court system..Child support is generally based on many factors, both parents income, other bio-children involved, insurance premiums, child care expenses, and how many days each parent has the child..If you are keeping his child way more than the allotted time in the parenting plan, then you may have grounds for modification [reduction] in child support payments... Check into this..There is also a State calculator you can download online, it's the same one the judges use when determining child support payments. If you know both income, insurance premiums, child care expenses and allotted days you can do this yourself and see if it's worth going back to court over....Good luck, what ever you do try to stick with the parenting plan.....:)

Answer 3

You cannot reason with an unreasonable person. If it is your weekend then you have all right to spend whatever time you want with the children and do whatever. Their happiness is not determined by someone elses anger so she needs to get over it.

Bottom line is this, you were given every other weekend by the courts. No matter what falls on that weekend- it is YOUR time with the kids, not hers... She agreed to the arrangement therefore she should be alright with it. Besides, you can celebrate holidays any day of the year. many families split up holidays...

so she needs to quit it for the sake of the children. All the bickering in the world wont make your children happy....

Answer 4

I am in the same boat as you are in man. What I do is the only way I will trade time with my ex is if she gives me at least a week notice and she trades me twice as much time as she takes in the middle of the weekend. Don't play her games, that just hurts the kids.Tell the kids the true about everything and don't try to make them not like there mother.


You will NEVER control your ex wife so you have to live with what you can control

Answer 5

Keep doing what it takes to make your children happy. Kids know a lot more than you think about whats going on. Stick to your guns and make sure that your children are the focus of your time and not the ex. My guess is that this is just one way for her to try and cause problems. She is mad at you and will alwasy resent you for the divorce. Tell her the courts gave you both custody and when its your time to have the children they will be with you and vice versa.

Answer 6

I understand wwhere you're coming from. You need to talk to her alone and just tell her how you feel about it. This is between you and her and not the kids. If it's your time to have them and she won't give them to you you only need to take your divorce papers to the police station and ask that they go with you to pick up your children. I know this sounds harsh but if she wants to play games you have no choice but to play along with her or just let her have her way everytime.

Answer 7

Paco, I am not sure you can ever make her understand. Ex's will try anything to get their way. You have children involved and she should think of them first instead of her. You did the right thing by keeping them. They need their Daddy too.

Answer 8

If you have joint custody, unless otherwise agreed upon, you get them on your specified times. Holidays are often broken up and switched back and forth from parent to parent in even/odd years. Refer back to your lawyer for real advice in this matter, and best of luck to you.

Answer 9

Tell her you don't care what she says, the kids were happy and that's all that matters to you.

Answer 10

Tell you're ex that you love them. Tell them that it is better that you are together. Fight through the bullshit. Love conquers all.

If you were together, things might be better.