When you change your last name after marriage....??

Question

Does that kind off show a sign that your their (your husbands) property now..what do you think? why dont men take Womens last names?

Answer 1

The tradition started because at one time, a wife was considered her husband's property, so she was owned by him and therefore was marked with his name. (It was also ok to rape your wife back then -after all, you owned her, not to mention the lack of property and financial rights for women.)

The civil rights movement and other significant events changed things so that marriage is viewed by the courts as a partnership, rather than ownership. But the tradition of taking a man's name upon marriage continues.

With the large amount of non-traditional families out there, I personally don't buy the argument that a woman must take her husband's name to "show that they are together and form a family". Think of all the step parents, single parents, live-in significant others, and children born outside of marriage out there. Having the same name or different names doesn't mean a thing about how strong a family is.

Personally, I think women who change their names " to show they are a family" are surrending their identity to their husband...I especially love the fact that after a divorce, these women will take their maiden names back, only to change their names for the second marriage, then back to the maiden name, then change it again for the third husband- they must find it hard to know who they are sometimes...what names do they use to endorse the alimony checks????

Answer 2

At my wedding my Dad walked me down the aisle but did not "give me away". I had the minister cut that part out of the ceremony because, as I explained, I'm not my father's property to give.

Despite that I never had any doubts about the name change. To me it symbolized a new name, for a new phase of my life. If I had wanted, my husband would have been willing to change his name too, but since tradition has the man keeping his name and since I didn't mind we went that route. I like the idea of our son having the same last name as his dad, and his dad's dad and so on. While in theory, hyphenating's great, my maiden name was 10 letters long and my new name is 12 so that was a bit much. I do use my maiden name as my middle initial though.

To sum up I think it's a choice for each couple to make and as long as they're both happy it's no one else's business - even if they both legally change their names to Mr. and Mrs. Yahoo-Answers :)

Answer 3

Women for years have take the mans name because that's the way it has always been. You don't have to change your name and the man could take the womens name if he chose. It was originally set up so the everyone in the family took the "family" {husbands} name to carry on the name.

Answer 4

I think, originally it symbolized that you were given away by your father to your husband. Now it's just a tradition. Men don't normally take their wives last names because we live in a patriarchal society. Had it been a martiarchal society, men would probably be taking their wives last names. Of course, as with any tradition that has no practical basis, it is up to the individual to adopt or reject it.

Answer 5

You do not have to take his name. You can also hyphen the name yours first - their name. The reason for the name change is you are one in common (not property) and you will want your children to have the same name as you and your husband. I have been married several times and I have changed my name, not changed it and hypenated it. If somthing happens to him (God forbid) it is so much harder to do paperwork and insurance if your names are diffrent. Trust me it is such a headache that it within itself is worth the change. Men have taken on womens names. Tim McGraw changed his to her last name leagely. But they are the only ones I know that have actualy done that.

Answer 6

I think that people just believe taking on the man's last name is tradition so they have to do it. Just like marriage and having children...people just think that as you get older that's what inevitably has to happen and they just don't question it. I guess it will never change because people are comfortable with that and as humans we have a very hard time leaving our comfort zones...

Answer 7

I didn't like the idea, not because I'd feel like my husband's property, but because I didn't want to lose my maiden name. So, I hyphenated my name and I'm happy with it, though my name is incredibly long now (I have two middle names).

Answer 8

You can change it at any given time. My mother in law didn't change hers for about 30 years after the marriage.

Answer 9

It is tradition. Plain and simple. Men are men. They should be allowed to be men and should not take on the last name of a woman. Let's not get the gender roles mixed up.

Answer 10

I think it is a sign of submission, that doesn't mean that you are his property. If your husband is a good and godly man then you should have no problem submitting to his authority. If he is not then you should rethink getting married if you havent already.