I left my ex 6 years ago and ever since he has made my life a misery. I am happily settled though not married with my two daughters aged 11 and 14. He is a control freak and because I stood up to him last year by letting my girls go to summer camp when it fell on his weekend of access, he has reported me to social services, stopped paying for their dentist, took me to court over Christmas (and lost) took me to court over their schooling (and lost) taking me to court over contact (ongoing and had to endure more investigations by cafcass) and now he is taking me to court to have my maintenance order cancelled because he reckons he is skint and cant afford to pay me any more!! It has cost me thousands of pounds and the stress is taking its toll. Can anyone offer any advice???
2007-04-08 11:44:56 · 24 answers · asked by laurasimonuk 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He wont run out of money. His wife got 250000 pay out for insurance claim and he has his own business which i helped set up. He is very clever at covering his tracks financially. I threatened to go for costs with the school one and he withdrew his court case so it didnt get to court but it cost me thousands in solictors fees to get to that point. You cant claim costs for child access cases or anything to do with children in the UK. I dont know about the maintenance case yet as I am still to meet my solicitor about it. He even put the court cases in his court which is 40 miles away and it cost me 1000 pounds in costs for my solicitor to even get there! However I will ask my solicitor to look into what you have all said about the harrassment. The court system in the UK is crap though and the baddies always seem to win.
2007-04-08 12:09:17 · update #1
You can ask the judge to make him reimburse you for all your cost and tell the judge that all his claims are causeing you distress and if the judge orders him to pay you for all this he will stop. I had a friend her ex did the same thing he was in Va and she was in Tx he had her suppoened back to Va in the end her ex had to pay her cost to Va and back again to Tx because his claim was base less he just wanted to be a dick and i testified against him at that trial also.
2007-04-08 11:51:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its time you got another lawyer. If he is taking you to court all the time and losing then he should be paying for your court costs and a good lawyer will see that happen. While I dont have a lot of faith in the judicial system, I do believe your ex will already have a reputation for wasting the courts time and a judge will find it easy to charge him your court costs in an attempt to stop him wasting the courts time. A good lawyer will point this out to the Judge and hopefully, if he is as skint as he is making out, the judge will make him even skinter....so much so that he will have no money left to take you to court for anything. Your lawyer has to get tough with him. There are ways to stop him and if your lawyer cant put any pressure on him, then I dont think much of your lawyer....find another one who is prepared to get this harrassment to stop. You need to lay charges against him for harrassment, financial loss and causing psychological damage to your children. This is ridiculous......after 6 years you would think he would stop this childish behaviour. Start taking him to court for all the things I have said, then maybe he will be forced to stop. It's a wonder your partner hasnt taken matters into his own hands by now. I think a few of his buddies can greet him on his way home from work one day and have a "word" in his ear. Maybe he will stop the harrassment then and allow you to live in peace.
2007-04-08 11:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See if there isnt a law that he is breaking, you know, something like ..harrassment. Because it is harassing when he is taking you to court every time you turn around. He is also wasting court time and money buy doing it. What ever you do, dont back down from him. Stand up and continue to fight him. You are in the rights. The number off times you've won shows that. Eventually the courts will see this and stop him. Good luck.
2007-04-08 11:52:49 · answer #3 · answered by mcdermond3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure on the money things but regarding more access etc in uk law the children are old enough to decide when and if they want to go. I know the limit is 12 yrs but they will take on board a 10 yr old's decision. Could you not have arranged another weekend to suffice his weekend he missed....i know why should you but sometimes its best just to keep the peace. I hope you get this sorted. I have been there so know it is a nightmare. I often used to say i cant wait till my son is 18 and i dont have to deal with the pr*t anymore!!!
2007-04-08 19:24:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about every time he takes you to court you file counter charges to have him pay for the dentist etc.. Sometimes your counter charges can contain a demand for reimbursement of any expenses incurred by you if his charges are found to be without merit. If he sees that he runs the risk of also losing something he may not be so quick to use the court system to harrass you.. Fight back. Make him pay a consequence everytime he harasses you via the courts.
2007-04-08 12:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by wolfman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start suing him for every thing under the sun back. Or you can file a complaint through the courts over it. Some one will listen. This is harassment. It is against the law!
I moved 2000 miles away. That was the last my ex threatened me. LOL
2007-04-08 11:58:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can continue to do the legal battle thing as much as he can pay for it. He is just being petty. Ask your lawyer to talk to the judge about his abuse of the legal system to "controle" you since he doesn't have pysical controle anymore. Diffrent arreas have diffrent rules. I would try to get the same judge on catch everytime if at all possible so he will be as anoyed as you are at him.
Could you move? I mean like LONG ways away. Just up and leave and not tell him where your were going. I don't mean just out of town.
I had to move to get away from mine. We left at 4 am and with help from a local womens abuse center they helped us get new lives , new names , social security cards, and child support was sent to the state and then transfered to me so he could not trace it. We only moved about 150 miles away but was prepaired to move to another country if we had to.
2007-04-08 11:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
countersue him for harassment and emotional distress. Document everything. See a counselor (more than once) and tell them what distress this is causing you. Have the counselor appear as an expert witness. Write a letter to the judge asking for some mercy. File a restraining order against him. Build a new concrete patio and insist you don't know where he went.......... ;)
2016-04-01 04:06:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counter sue him for harassment here. Explain to the Judge your situation and ask for the courts help to stop him. The courts are probably tired of him and his candy a.s whining anyway and will be glad to help. Good luck
2007-04-08 11:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your situation sounds alot like mine right now, i'm in my second year. i finally got a back bone after 23 years. what's worse than being married to a narcissist......trying to divorce one. and the courts aren't much help, he can be a d*** and there's no reciprocation, so he keeps it up. i have a feeling that after all is done in the courts our troubles still won't be done, we have 3 teenagers. so as long as he is living, his pathetic energy will too. what has helped is getting onto websites.......google narcissist and some of the stuff really helped me, good luck to you and your kids, and do what you can to smile. it's the best revenge :)
2007-04-08 23:22:37 · answer #10 · answered by bridget 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋