I keep having dreams about an ex...?

Question

I keep having dreams about an ex...?

I never got some real closure from him and it ended badly. This weekend has been bad though and I just had a dream about him and the girl he left me for. I know in reality they are no longer together. To be honest, I know I need to let go and I was doing really well for about a month or so. But I think I still want that full apology and why he did this to me. And also, I am really tired of expecting it. I have gotten to the point where now I just want to be happy and not think about him or the situation anymore. I really want to let this go.. But how? Time has gone by and although its helped, it was so painfulIand I just want to forget all about it. Also, I see friends who have gotten that closure even months later, and I have not and it hurts alot. And I feel if anyone wanted that more it was me. How to cope?

Answer 1

The fact that you had a dream about him just reflects a thought you had either that day consciously or subconsciously. Everyone wants to fully understand what went wrong in past relationships, but the explanation you're looking for is very rarely given by another person. Instead of trying to forget the relationship, think about what you did well and what you didn't do so well, so that when the next opportunity arises, you won't have to make the same mistake twice. The best thing you can do right now is be thankful for what you have now and think about what you can give another, better person. Time will help a little, but only when you can come to realize that you are in control of your happiness will you be able to cope most effectively.

Answer 2

Breaking up is always difficult and the pain lasts a long time. We often torture ourselves with questions asking if we could have done better or seen the signs sooner. The best thing to do is to learn from this situation so you can avoid it in the future. Try to get involved in other things, volunteer work, pets, or plants. Caring for something else can often ease the pain and help you cope and the actions will reassure you of your own worth. Have a good and enjoyable and worthwhile life!

Answer 3

Ex
To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person. It could also signify aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.

To see your mate's ex in your dream, suggests that you may be comparing yourself to the ex. The dream is trying to tell you not to make the same relationship mistakes that ended that relationship.

To dream that you are making out with your ex, signifies your acceptance of certain characteristics of your ex. The dream does not necessarily mean that you want to get back together with him or her. Consider what were the things you liked and disliked about him. These are the same qualities that you are finally acknowledging within your own self.

To dream that you e� has died, indicates that your feelings for you ex are completely dead now. The dream is a metaphor of how you have let go of the past and are ready to move on and fully devote yourself to new relatonships.

Ex Boyfriend
To see an old ex-boyfriend from childhood in your dream, refers to a freer, less encumbered relationship. The dream servers to bring you back to a time where the responsibilities of adulthood (or marriage) didn't interfere with the spontaneity of romance. You need to recapture the excitement, freedom, and vitality of youth that is lacking in your present relationship.

To dream that your ex-boyfriend is giving you advice about your current relationship, suggests that you unconscious is telling you not to repeat the same mistakes that you had made with this ex-boyfriend.

To dream that you are being massaged by your ex-boyfriend, suggests that you need to let go of some of that defensiveness that you have been putting forth. You may have been putting up a wall or armor around you. You need to learn to trust people again.

To dream that you ex-boyfriend gives you a stuffed animal, suggests that you are seeking for reassuring and nurturing aspects of a relationship. This is not to imply that you want you ex-boyfriend back. Alternatively, the dream could represent some immature relationship which may (or may not) describe the relationship you had with your ex.

Ex Husband / Ex Wife
To see your ex-husband/wife in your dream, indicates that you are finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in.� It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable.

Answer 4

Create your own closure. I once burned letters and gifts from an old boyfriend and created a mental fiction that he was now dead to me. I had too many times gone back to have the abuse just continue. So I told myself he was now dead and there was no going back. It worked.

Answer 5

According to the activation-synthesis theory of dreams, your dream probably has no meaning at all. (Sorry, that's probably not what you wanted to hear.)

Although dreams are influenced by our thoughts throughout the course of the day, this does not mean they are special messages to us that we should carefully consider.

Here's one perspective:

"Activation Synthesis Theory is a neurobiological theory of dreams, put forward by James Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley in 1977, which states that dreams are a random event caused by firing of neurons in the brain. This random firing sends signals to the body's motor systems, but because of a paralysis that occurs during REM sleep, the brain is faced with a paradox. It synthesizes a narrative by drawing on memory systems in an attempt to make sense of what it has experienced."

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Activation_synthesis_theory

Answer 6

You must have loved this man....or it wouldn't hurt this bad...it sounds to me like you're almost all the way over it...to cope? Keep going forward...and be thankful you didn't marry him..the closure you need...is to know that this wasn't your fault...that he didn't grow up...

Answer 7

It sounds more like daydreaming than just dreaming.You are pretty involved in that guy and your emotional ties are not still broken with him.Try to know about him,how he is doing.May be he is equally disturbed as you are.

Answer 8

Talk to him and you will feel better by relieving your stress and emotions. It will let you know if you still are truly infatuated with him or not, this way you can finally move on.

Answer 9

I read somewhere (sorry don't remember where) that we dream of our ex's because we are now happy and wish they could know how happy we are.