do you think that as we get older we turn into carbon copies of our parents?

Question

i hope not mine are really hard work my mom drinks to much and my dad is really selfish and un emotional!

Answer 1

You don't have to turn into a carbon copy of your parents.It will take hard work and a life time of perseverance.

Our parents are the first and most dominant roll models that we have. We are imprinted with their behavior patterns and idiosyncrasies from birth.

It is hard to change, It can be done. You have to be quite ruthless about it. First you have to decide what features of your parents you don't want to repeat in your life. (for me it was some of my fathers annoying sayings and emotional unavailability) Then you have to make a conscious effort not to do them. Every time that you find yourself doing this you have to pull yourself back. It is by no means perfect, you will find yourself doing what you don't want to do from time to time. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Drinking is an easy one. You already know that you don't want to go there. That is the start.

If you are female you are more likely to take on the traits of your mother. If you are male you take on your father.

Your fathers traits are the harder ones. You will find that your father is probably not as selfish as you think. Being unemotional goes with that territory of being male.

I don't know your fathers history so I can't comment on why he is the way he is. But he is probably trying to be the best father he can with the knowledge that he has.

You know what traits of his you don't want to copy so, go out and learn how to be more emotionally connected. Watch yourself for what you see as being selfish. You may find that he is only protecting things.

I know of someone who thought that his father was tight. Until he died and his mother had spent the $500,000 insurance policy in three months and had nothing to show for it. His father had allowed his mother a generous allowance and managed the rest with an iron fist because if he hadn't they wouldn't have had a roof over their heads

Answer 2

The choice is yours and yours alone.
I think that when kids grow up seeing things about their parents that hurt them , they go one of two ways. They are either emotionally beaten down by it and tend most often to fall into the same rut , becoming just like them or they are strengthened by the determination to heal. The people who choose to heal will strive to keep from making the same mistakes their parents made.I think it's a choice we all make sooner or later whether we realize it or not. Kids live what they learn until they are old enough to understand , they have a choice.

Answer 3

Sometimes i hear myself and i think god, i sound like my mother...lol

But no, i don't think we turn into carbon copies of them, we do pick up things from them, well they were in our lives for a very long time but we have our own brains, feelings, sense of worth etc

My dad was fond of his drink, i like mine but not as much and would never go down the path he picked for himself.

My mother is the queen of denial and i seek the truth in everything.

We are who we are, each different, so no don't panic we ain't the same as our parents, well i hope not....LOL

Answer 4

Not carbon copies, as we are a mixture of two lines.
There is often a strong line of similarities which must be inherited.
My family is spread across the world from Scotland to Sydney, the similarities in book choice, ways of speech and behaviour are amazing.
Remember also it is said that we inherit insanity, from our children.

Answer 5

No; what I think is that at some point in our lives, we stop blaming our parents for what they were and what we are as their children.

I think as we age, we gain a bit more wisdom and compassion for our fellow man - which includes our parents.

We begin to see that - unless they were just totally screwed up as individuals - they did the best they could with what they understood at the time.

Answer 6

I hope not!

My mum died of alcoholic liver disease when i was 9 (you should have a word with your mum and get her some help, alcolohism is a really serious addiction) and my dads a asshole. Has a business worth a tonne of money, which he uses to con money out of people and he set it up with the insurance from my mums death that he stole from me and my brother!

Answer 7

Genetics has a part to play in your life, but you are responsible for your future, and can change your outcome of your life through education, determination, and hard work! I see some things in me that remind me of my parents, I don't mind that, I know some things my parents do, and work to make sure that I don't do these things.

Answer 8

I'm not sure but I think that some people can turn into their parents I won't mind turning into my mom since she's a very kind and loving woman.

Answer 9

I hope not too, I love my mum dearly, but my life is so different from hers. as for my father's, well - don't really know!
I think it comes to choice and so easy to fall into a routine that we can blame someone else for, ie our parents!

Answer 10

I believe as adults we decide how we will be, I made the choice NOT! to be like my parents. when I found myself starting to be the way they were , I instantly made changes, I raised 3 sons and they all turned out to be awesome men. They tell their dad and i that we were good roll models for them. God Bless and Good luck.