My husband and I have a business in southern California. We have one employee. She's a single female. She's been working with us for about a month. Today she text messaged me and wished me Happy Easter. She's not Christian; so I thought that was very nice of her. My husband said, "Well, she didn't wish me Happy Easter". I told him that I thought it would be inappropriate for her to do so; and that her wish to me covered him as well. He said that if she would have text him, I would have been upset because I'm jealous.
Honestly, if she would have text him, I would have been somewhat offended. I think it's inappropriate; that's all. But, I don't consider myself jealous. I have a healthy perception of what is appropriate and what is not.
Your thoughts?
2007-04-08 07:43:22 · 14 answers · asked by loving_caring_wife 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to clarify: We are not her co-workers; we are her bosses. We are a husband and wife team who happen to be her employer.
Also - in addition to speaking English, they both speak Arabic, which I do not speak. So, sometimes I am curious as to what they are saying to each other when they speak Arabic and I have not a clue of what is transpiring. This is a daily thing that happens in our office.
2007-04-08 07:56:41 · update #1
From a mans viewpoint, I think you are correct. There is such a thing as emotional infidelity that comes from inappropriate relationships with others outside of your marriage relationship and the fact that you feel it would be inappropriate should be enough of a clue to your husband that he should respect your feelings about appropriate boundaries.
2007-04-08 07:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by Someone who cares 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Texting your husband is very high on my inappropriate behavior list. It is well enough for her to text you an Easter wish and leave it at that. If this person has any respect for you she would not text your husband unless it was related to business anyways. You can pass along the Easter wish to your husband and call it a day. Watch your back girls are very competitive and always want what someone else already has. Men fall for that trick every time. Once she gets him the thrill is gone and she tosses him away and moves on to the next subject.
2007-04-08 07:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by mychellturner 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I absolutely agree that if she were to text your husband, it would be very inappropriate. In fact, an employee of my husband did just this last year and although I was not jealous, I found it to be in bad taste. I feel that a woman employee should never contact their employer through texting, other than a professional message, but maybe I am just a prude!
2007-04-08 10:01:44 · answer #3 · answered by Krissi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I understand the jealously thing, but that being said, you really cannot be too upset about a co-worked sending another co-worked a text message to wish them a happy Easter. I guess it is a good sign that your employee knows you well enough to realize you would have been upset and that she sent the message to you instead, eh?
2007-04-08 07:47:57 · answer #4 · answered by DJL2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think there would be anything wrong with her texting either of you just to wish you a happy easter (christian or not). if she just wanted to be thoughtful, why would she have to go through the chain of command.
if you allow her to text you, and if she works for both you and your husband, and if she was given both your numbers, why would there be an issue with her contacting either of you.
if you don't want her to contact your husband, then you need to be as clear as water with her...if there is only supposed to be a working relationship between them both, then it also needs to include you...you can't say that her action is inappropriate because it is not...your reaction to something that didn't even happen is irrational. and i'm sorry to say it, but your husband sounds right about that.
you can't say that you would not be jealous if you are actually displaying signs of jealousy with someone that 'you' hired...
keep in mind that we can only give our opinion on what you have shared, so don't be mad if we say something that you may not want to hear.
for you to take something that was a nice gesture and make it something totally negative is not right to say the least. if this is someone that has only been in your life for one month, and you are already coming up with these negative thoughts, i would even go as far as saying that you are out of line for thinking these things.
at no point did you say that she has flirted with your husband, or that he has done the same thing,or that either of them have been disrespectful to you in that way. all there is are in fact your insecurities taking a stab at someone else...i would be curious to find out if this line of thinking on your part has happened before.
and i'm sorry but based on this, you don't have a healthy perception.
maybe you should take this as an opportunity to look at yourself and figure out why you are thinking the way you do.
if i was that girl and i found out that you took one simple gesture and twisted it like this, i would quit. no one wants to work or be around anyone who is that paranoyd.
2007-04-08 08:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by la21unica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's just doing it to wish you a Happy Easter, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Unless she starts texting and is talking about sexual things or trying to split you and your husband, I don't think you should worry.
2007-04-08 08:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Am I the first person to understand the question? One thing that they could charge him with is what we in Texas call "Contributing to the delinquency of minors." It could also fall under some child pornography laws, where you don't necessarily have to receive material to be guilty. Might not be the best answer you were looking for, but hopefully that helps a little.
2016-05-20 00:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right it would be inappropriate for her to text him. You are not just being jealous. It did cover him also she was wishing your family happy Easter.
2007-04-08 07:48:13 · answer #8 · answered by Gidget 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
greetings and such as usually for the entire family, no, she should not text him -however if you 3 are all in this business together--texts to one another can be appropriate if they are open and business like. However anything social is best directed to the wife.
so you are fine, relax but stay on top of things.
2007-04-08 07:54:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One question crosses my mind...are you jealous of her, or jealous/afraid of HIM?...knowing how he might react to a woman sending him a text message? In other words, if anything were to really "happen" between them, who do YOU think would be the one to take the forward action?
If you don't think either one would take any forward action, then maybe you're being too over-protective. However, it sounds like you're afraid something could or would happen.
2007-04-08 07:48:56 · answer #10 · answered by Gary D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋