Still Heartbroken and can't make it stop!?

Question

I am new to this and somehow I closed my question yesterday so Please help me...
I find it is so terribly hard to deal with my heartache alone but when you share three kids how am I to do it when I still have to see him? It is Easter today and I am finding it so painful to deal...I put on my "I'm ok" mask for my kids this morning and it is taking everything I have to not just curl up in a ball and cry. My 8 yr. old saw me crying late last night and said she is hurt too. I feel ashamed that she can handle this and I can't. How can someone that you have loved for so long be so cruel? I know I should be angry for what he has done but all I can think about is how much I love him and how much I need him here...I am falling apart...and I have gone to seek professional help but there is not much they can do for me...antidepressants is what they gave me...yeah in about a month they might work but I need help now. PLEASE!

Answer 1

The fact that you feel so deeply and love so deeply means you as a person have much to offer. I am sure you are probably harder on yourself than anyone could be. You need to look at the positive things about yourself and realize you have a lot to offer. What are the things you do well and what do others see that is good in you. There is much you have to offer. I am sure you are looking for something to ease the pain and to make the suffering go away. I think that will just take some time. There are support groups, sometimes church groups, or family or friends and you will probably find your feelings are very normal and that also it will not always be that way. Sometimes it will have to be enough to just get through the day. Personally, I think crying and breaking down is a natural process of grieving for a loss, much like if someone you loved died, only harder, but I think it is also part of a healing process because you do have feelings. May you find peace.

Answer 2

Put on a happy face like you have done. Sometimes pretending to be happy makes you feel better. Be strong for your kids, they need you. Try really hard to keep taking those antidepressants they do work and they work well if you are on the correct one. If you are not feeling some relief after taking them for 3 weeks then call your doctor back to change the type of medication or the dosage. Depression can destroy us, don't let that happen to you, your children are only young once so please enjoy them as much as you can and let them help you heal. If you want to email me my email is in my profile. Good Luck honey. You should also seek therapy because getting those feelings out can help you not feel so bad all the time the therapy sessions will be tough but you will see your life clearer.

Answer 3

It's OK. We all fall apart and can't be strong at all times. Give yourself a break. But remember you don't want him, you want the person you have created in your head. I know holidays are difficult. He's not crying in bed, if he was, he would reach out to you. If he felt the way you do, he would be there comforting you and giving you his shoulder, but he's not. Why are you torturing yourself? You're a mother and you have the strength. Think about all the strong women who got divorced and used it as motivation to accomplish great things. You don't have to fight, deal with his cruelness and everything else that caused the divorce. Get a piece of paper and write down the reasons why you don't want him. Easter is just a holiday. You have hundreds of holidays to come that you will enjoy with your kids, and grand kids. This is not the end of the world, but a new beginning for you! Take care of yourself and your mind, because your kids look up to you and will admire your strength when they get older and understand things!

Answer 4

You need to start thinking differently then you have been. Yes he left you with three children but that just shows everyone else that he is a loser. Just focus this time on your kids stay as busy as you can and start looking at life in a different light. When one door closes another one opens up. Now that you are single have fun being single go out with your friends and start doing things you once enjoyed when you were single. The more you dwell on him leaving you the more space you are allowing him to have in your head and he is winning. There are so many other fish in the sea. Things happen for a reason and you just need to find out what that reason is. It could be to further your career or maybe someone is out there that you need to meet. Start dressing and looking your best at all times, make yourself as busy as you can. Start living your life do not let him put you in a rut. He walked away now start living your life and stop dwelling on him. Let him know what he is missing. Have fun we only live once.

Answer 5

You can't make somebody love you, you can't make somebody respect you, and you can't move on until you accept that there are going to be people who come into your life and then leave your life who will either not love you or not respect you when they leave.

You are still trying to control him. I don't know the details of your relationship or how it ended, so I don't know how this control dynamic happened (are you perhaps co-dependent? That's pretty common: trying to control people by doing things for them and being what they want you to be, getting dumped, and feeling lost because no matter how much you give, you cannot control them or make them want or respect you).

Respect yourself and let him go.

It's hard sometimes; I know. It takes time sometimes, so be patient and try to hold things together until you regain your self-control and self-respect.

Answer 6

This is so hard, because any advice any of us gives is going to be easier said than done. There is no covering up or disguising the pain. You do want to be future focused, though. Try to make your world bigger. Don't spend alot of time online, it will shrink your worldview and make you obsess. Do stuff with friends, take up a hobby, consider your future...where would you like to be in 3 years? Make a plan. Please take care.

Answer 7

Do not look to chemicals in your brain for help, they just numb you, and then what about real life? just deal with it--you won't fall apart. Your daughter can deal with it becaiuse it isn't her life's mate. She'll have hers someday. Children don't always show their hurt anyway. They sometimes act it out.
Today is the best day to go to God, ask Him to give your peace. Jesus is the only answer, He will never abandon you.

Answer 8

llove sucks sometimes buddy..

Broken heart, know where you come from.. Just find a hobbie or someone else that will love you for you.. and not for thier fanicys...

My husband and me love each other but have rough times, sometimes we dont love each other but hell..

its marriage... just agree with the other person even if you dont..

only way get through with life.. how do u think i'm where i am at right now??

Answer 9

I'm going through the exact same thing, only, i'm a guy. You almost feel like your insides are being ripped out. It's horrible. e-mail me at [e-mail] maybe we can keep in touch

Answer 10

He was cruel to you because it's in his blood to treat women like trash. Men like this don't care if they hurt their spouse. You just need to move on from this man because if he really cared he wouldn't have treated you badly.