My husband and I have had really rough times for our entire marriage (thats not to say its all bad though). He lies constantly about everything. He made up a military carrer and lies about every aspect of our lives to me and others. Everyone else knows what a liar he is, I dont want to be assosicated with that. He is also extremely irresponsible. I had decided to get out, started my leaving plan and told him, thats it, I'm done. He cried and begged me not take leave that he loved me and wanted our family to stay together. I felt like I owed it to my family to try and make it work, but just days after that decision, I just dont think I can stay. I have no desire to work it out with a man that I do not trust or respect and honestly dont feel I ever will again. Is it selfish for me to take my children and go without another chance? Should I stay true to my feelings, or try for my kids? He says he will do whatever it takes. I think that is just another lie. Am I being unfair to deny him?
2007-04-08 06:45:01 · 15 answers · asked by My two cents 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you're not being unfair. It's him who has been unfair to you! You know what you need to do for a good life for your kids, just go ahead and follow your instincts. They will never steer you wrong!
2007-04-08 06:50:36 · answer #1 · answered by karenhar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!
You feel what you feel, don't ever let anyone talking you out of your feelings, you feel the way you do for some reason,
and if this is supposed to be the man you married, it all
is based on lies,,,
don't stay with him for the kids, it never works out,
however,expect a judge to see if you want counseling, that is often what happens when one wants out and the other doesn't,
been there done that, just go to the therapy session and tell them why you feel the way you do, your feelings have changed, and you no longer posses the love it takes to make this marriage work,,,they wont site you for being true to yourself-especially when you are the only one being truthful!
I am pullin for you my sister-
good luck to you and your children-
counseling would be good for them too-
this will be a rough transition if only one parent
is obsessing over the marriage-
don't forget them,k?
2007-04-08 06:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by trinity3x3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You asked about staying true to your feelings, what about the feelings of your children? Tell him its time for counseling or time for a divorce take your pick.When he lies to others confront him in front of them and embarrass him reall good enough times he may learn to quit lying.If he is irresponsible with money, then you handle the money.I dont know what you mean by irresponsible because he can be that with a lot of different things in many different ways.
2007-04-08 06:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have given it every chance. how many times will you tell yourself - okay, i'll give it one more try.?- when is it enough? i think staying together for the children is the wrong reason. it can sometimes be worse when you stay. they will figure out what a liar he is eventually. i think i'd have said good-bye when i found out he'd lied about his past but that's just me. good luck to you.
2007-04-08 07:23:48 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
certainly, have been I you? i could be lots "worried" he does not love you in a honest, genuine or very healthful way...in basic terms a tad little bit of a perverted guy could ask you to do what he has...i'm sorry you "love him so deeply" expensive, i myself am. of direction i does no longer do it and added? i think of it could provide me super pause to re-examine if I could additionally be WITH this form of person...i'm sorry, yet something is heavily incorrect along with his point of feeling greater often than no longer, somewhat sociopathic in a very genuine experience... you may get a real backbone of self-self assurance and concept in your self...you fairly do, to even entertain the belief tells me you're a very based woman. Pity. you may have autonomy and understand who you're by potential of this point of the sport. as a replace? you're wrapped up in him because of the fact the "pillar" of your existence...Ever ask your self what could happen if the "pillar" crumbles? -For i've got confidence? it rather is a very genuine threat on your case... Sorry to be so truthful. I see some genuine problems with WHO he rather is... Grace
2016-10-21 08:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a separation. Doesn't mean you have to file for divorce. That way, if he is serious, he will get his stuff together and either work it out or not. If he still doesn't get it together, THEN file for divorce. Either way, he cannot make you stay In a marriage you don't want to stay in.
2007-04-08 07:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy, your children will see that. Do not stay with him because of the kids you're only hurting them in the long run. It is what is best for the kids, not him.
2007-04-08 10:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your done your done it sounds like you have tried if you don't feel like you used to then call it quits he will have to move on with his life. You should never stay for the kids it dose'nt work it only gets worse then not only you but your kiids will have a misserable life. Your kids will understand later.
2007-04-08 06:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do is to try to stay for your childrens sake. That will only hurt them more in the future. You need to get out when you want to get out.
2007-04-08 06:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by rebeldaddy1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no ur not tell him that if he really loved u and didnt want u to leave then he should shape up and become a better husband cause u dont take that from anybody.
2007-04-08 06:48:46 · answer #10 · answered by Tati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋