I have decided to leave my husband after nearly a year of being manipulated by him. We married after knowing each other for only 4 months, I married him because I loved him but circumstances give me the impression(though he says he loves me) that he really married me so that he could be sponsored by me to stay in this country. (I married him under the impression that he loved me and thought that it was the right time, only to find out that his work visa was about to expire in a few months- veru suspicious, yet I still married him thinking it was just a coincedence). I then found emails from another woman from when we were dating indicating they had been intimate and I let it go thinking it again was a coincidence.
2007-04-08 06:12:49 · 13 answers · asked by MsTrust 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Months into our marriage I found a website he had logged into on our pc, it was a dating website and it had his full description but no picture and it was looking for intimate encounters, I comfronted him and the first thing he said to me was "I dont want to deal with this right now", and then proceded to tell me it was his cousins and he was checking it for him. These are just a few of the coincidences during our less than 1 year marriage. On top of all of this he manipulated me into thinking that I would never find anyone who loves me as much as he does. He started secretly going into me emails and chatting with my friends on MSN in order to (I think) find something on me to make it all even. I have been supporting him this whole time, paying all of the bills except for his car and insurance ( I have no car and can not drive his). I feel used and have told him so, but he denies that he is using me.
When I told him I was leavig him he acted like he didnt care.
2007-04-08 06:17:46 · update #1
The other night I mentioned that he gave me the impression that he has no feelings about me leaving, and he told me that it was breaking his heart and he hugged me, then asked if he could sleep in the same bed with me that night, he cried and told me he didn't know what he was going to do with out the love of his life and then he begged me to make love to him, when I said no he asked me if he could touch me all over, when I said no again he cried some more and then started saying things like "why are you doing this to me?" " I love you", "I planned my whole life with you and now I don't know what I am going to do"
I feel like he is manipulating me again, but my head is so messed up from everything that I don't know what is real and what is a manipulation anymore.
2007-04-08 06:22:33 · update #2
WAKE UP! He is using you. This is why you need to date a guy(not shack and/or have sex with) for at least a yr or so PRIOR to marriage. It takes time to really get to know someone and you have to be willing to see them as they REALLYare not as you FANTASIZE them to be. Dump him yesterday and LEARN from your mistake.
2007-04-08 06:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in a similar situation....marriage of 22 years ended... Im constantly struggling with that question..... its a hard one and only time will tell.... what helps me is I know I hurt less without him than i did with..... and each day its improving
Sometimes we are misguided down paths that are unknown to us. Sometimes, words can be twisted, snarled, and broken or added. Sometimes, love is love, with magnitudes of obstacles. Sometimes a broken heart is vengeful. Sometimes a torn heart is vulnerable. And sometimes, love cant be fixed
And sometimes, that love grows, and multiplies, but sometimes ...... Loves flames embers die away. And sometimes, we just have to say, I was mistaken. Regardless of your flaws and your mistakes, your choices in life and the way you lived them. Sometimes, and rarely, we can say I forgive you. And forgetting is harder because of the scars etched into our hearts. But sometimes, just the forgiveness alone, is a start.
God did not build the world in one day. And houses arent built without some form of foundation. getting over Love takes time, when Im down I have to get slowly from the floor to the ever rising rooftop. hoping some time out in the future, the sun that God made, will shine down on the roof, through the windows, and warm the person who thought they had lost it all
2007-04-08 13:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by rebel c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes your doing the right thing and it does seem like he lied to you about loving you just to get his visa i think its very wrong for anyone man or women to marry just for a visa lot of them do . I'm separated from my husband for abuse i believe i was used just for me to keep him up since were both was borned in USA he lied to me too . so i can understand and it hurts when you love someone and they use you i wish you good luck in what you decide
2007-04-08 13:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess if you can't trust your husband then yes it is the rigth thing to do. It sounds like you didn't know him as well as you thought you did. Four months then to a lifelong commitment is such a short time. Goodluck.
2007-04-08 13:29:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. He has already moved on and so should you. It's aot of good men out here looking for good women..leave the zero!
2007-04-08 13:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by Mr Grant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are. My wife is a foreign national and I made her get her green card before we got married.
2007-04-08 13:18:12 · answer #6 · answered by jhartmann21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Git rid of him. See a lawyer to make sure you are protected.
2007-04-08 14:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by freedomchild99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your gut feeling...always. It's pretty clear to me what your gut is saying. It is saying GET OUT!
2007-04-08 13:36:04 · answer #8 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him..
He was just using you to stay in the country..
Report him to Immigration...
2007-04-08 13:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is messing with your mind. Get rid of him. Life is too short as it is.
2007-04-08 13:33:50 · answer #10 · answered by Susie L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋